Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

Have you googled it? Might have been valuable.

This was my first thought when I read @Overworkedandknackered‘s post.

I remember our weekly library visits with fondness, as do my children. We would borrow 20 or so books at a time and they would devour them. My memories of bedtime reading library books with my children are very precious. No way could buying the odd book from Waterstones come close.

Furthermore you can find really enjoyable books that are now out of print, and certainly not available in Waterstones (or a supermarket! as a pp said was her emporium of choice for literature…).

I would have loved to receive this either for myself or my child. This year we was planning on only buying our child pre loved things. We did fail at the zoo the other day but it was a book he wanted and it got him out the gift shop!
Someone once said to me everything you have ever owned is still on this earth and it really struck a chord with me so I try to be more mindful now

Sorry she upset you. Hope the replies here reassure you that your friend is very rude and unkind and you did nothing wrong. I work in a charity shop and our children's toys and books are very popular. In a throw away world it's lovely to see things recycled and the children love them.

Your 'friend' is an ass. It was a lovely gesture and she doesn't deserve someone as kind as yourself. (I would have done the same thing--i actually prefer second hand books bc I love seeing what other people have written in them, and imagining the people who held and read the book)

Or it may be that they grow up and love to buy second hand books, because they haven’t had the same experiences that I had, we’re all different and allowed to like different things.

This scenario says more about your friend's anxiety and lack of basic knowledge.on how the immune system is trained to work. It was a lovely thoughtful gift. I wonder if she uses these awful disinfectant sprays that increase allergies massively . The immune system needs to learn what is dangerous and what can be ignored so her fears are based on ignorance.

I bought my friend's kids books for Easter once and her words were "Oh shitty books, they are getting eggs, right?"

I never bought for her kids again.

I'd have given it as an 'extra' with the comment that it was vintage - which tends to stymie the 'it's not new' brigade, because vintage is fashionable. Would have said I got it in a vintage shop if asked (charity shops qualify, I think!).
You didn't do anything wrong. Your friend is silly and also rude to tell you she discarded it - she could at least have given it a go before chucking it.
Am about to send a vintage baby dress to my niece. It's 90s I think, and I did indeed buy it in a vintage shop (mostly full of clothes I avoided when they were in fashion!), which probably tripled the price!

No, she's a silly cow.

Well, you are supposed to give eggs as it's a symbol of the Resurrection which is what we are celebrating. I give books as well. My reaction to this comment would be to give her poor deprived DC books on every occasion and sit down and read them aloud, too.(But I am slightly into passive aggressive behaviour 😃)

What a shame your lovely gift was rejected! That could have been treasured for another 70 years!

You were not at fault. You did something nice and got rejected. Be certain that I'd rather be your friend than her friend. Don't take it to heart.

You have done nothing wrong! I hope all these positive comments give you some reassurance and peace of mind.

No, you absolutely were not wrong! You might, however, be wrong to describe this person as a friend. What a surly, unkind thing to do! I guess she never heard the expression "It's the thought that counts". And in this case, you very kindly thought of her little boy when you saw this book at the charity shop! If she really had concerns about where it has been, the polite thing to do would be to thank you for the gift and then, after the party, do what she wanted with it. But making the remarks she did in your presence was boorish & mean-spirited.
And, by the way, a 1957 edition of Pinocchio, if it's in good condition, might very well be of interest to an antiquarian book seller.

So if you gave her a rare first edition Charles Dickens in good condition it would go straight in the trash? Most people read stuff bought in charity shops, that's why they have shelves full of books for sale. We buy almost all from online second hand bookshops.

I bet your friend buys stuff on Vinted! She could have just thrown it away without telling you but chose to be unkind. You have shown yourself to be thoughtful and have done absolutely nothing wrong. By her logic library books and school reading books should be banned. I buy books and toys for my grandchildren on Vinted or from charity shops. She is to be pitied

Tell her you googled it and it was a rare first edition worth a few hundred quid. She'll be steaming.

You are fine.i think the expression we need here is your chum should give her head a wobble.

You throw books in the bin because they were cheap? (If you think £4 is cheap!!!) You do know that the cost of a book does not equal its value? Why don't you give them to charity shops? And you are missing lots of fun and also bargains if you eschew charity shops. I live near a very rich town and you can get designer dressers for a fraction of their price new.

Your friend is a chav

Nothing wrong with second hand book gifting, but I wouldn’t gift one with a sentimental note to someone else scrawled in the front (and could’ve at least erased it if pencil).

Your friend sounds like an uneducated moron to get so het up over a thoughtful gift. That book sounds like a lovely gift. She doesn't like much of a friend. She could have just returned that book to you if she was so offended so you could decide what you want to do with it given the history of the book.

Has she never borrowed a book from the Library....?

Why though? Erasing history is stupid.