Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

*to be loved

I don't think you did anything wrong and I would have been happy to receive that. Some people are weird about second hand stuff.

No

Your friend has some very odd views about second-hand items. It sounds like a lovely gift.

I am incensed she did that. NO you were not wrong. What an ungrateful, insensitive and wasteful arse she was about this. I wish my kids had you in their lives! You sound lovely!

I cant see anything wrong with this, ive given a second hand book as a present to a child before. It's a lovely thought, some people are like this with charity shop purchases, I have a friend the same. I wouldn't worry about it, you did nothing wrong in my opinon.

Your friend sounds awful, that would have tugged at my heartstrings too and I think it was a lovely gift.

I would ask when she threw it away and if you could possibly have it back. There will be someone else who would love it.

what a snidey, closed minded person your friend is.

I would of happily had it back and kept it too.
I feel a bit awkward speaking to her at the minute

I would have thought that was a lovely gift. And so would my DC.

Your friend is weird and incredibly rude.

I reserve my deepest ire for people who throw books away. Also for people who start off a rude or ungrateful comment with "no offense, but...".

She's been very rude here, second hand books are absolutely fine. I wonder if she's ever been in a second hand book shop, where all the books could have been "god knows where", she'd presumably have kittens!

Is your friend someone who doesn't read much?
People who love reading treasure books imo.
She sounds a bit thick tbh.

Sorry you thought the book was inappropriate.
I guess we value books in different ways in our lives.
That's what I would respond. Basically passive aggressive insinuation she doesn't value education. Which she doesn't. Otherwise she would value the written word in all it's new and old forms. Idiot.

Stupid woman and very ungrateful

Your friend was incredibly rude. You did a very thoughtful thing.

I am so sorry you were treated like this by your so called friend . You did nothing wrong . She obviously isn't like you .

This with bells on it!!!!
there’s something lovely about sharing a book and picking one up with a message in it too. I wish you were my friend.

She is very rude to have told you what she did but IMO you shouldn’t give obviously second hand gifts unless you know that the person is happy to receive them .

I think it sounds like a lovely gift, and I would have been pleased to receive it for my child.

Your friend’s behaviour was disgraceful. She basically had two options available to her: either accept the gift graciously, even if she is going to bin it later, she shouldn’t tell you that and should just thank you politely, OR politely explain her concerns and give it back to you. What she actually did, was in no way normal behaviour.

You need to tell her you have taken offence. Why wouldn't you have? She's been incredibly rude (as well as wasteful, ungrateful a bit thick etc). You can say it quite reasonably. 'Actually Deidre I have taken offence! I certainly won't be buying little Bilious any more birthday presents if they are going in the bin.'

That's a beautiful gift, she's no friend. I assume her house is sterile and completely devoid of personality?

Sorry OP, you did nothing wrong X

Your ‘friend’ sounds awful, I think it sounds like a lovely gift and vintage books are beautiful. I’d seriously distance myself from her tbh, her views are snobby, she’s got no class and she’s rude.

Your “friend” sounds vile. That would be a gift Id love one of my DC to receive. My bil dabbles in antiques and is always finding little gems like that .

Agreed, I can picture it now, all grey and no personality.

I love second hand things, but am a bit wary about second-hand books because sometimes (not always but quite often) they have a musty smell about them. I think it’s because paper can become damp or dampish very easily depending on how it’s stored.
We are a family of asthmatics though and have lots of allergies including to dust and mould so I have to be really careful. It mightn’t be such an issue for others.

ETA I can assure people our house is not sterile and we do have personalities 😂
I wouldn’t have made OP feel uncomfortable about her kind gift…that was just rude.