Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

I'm not sure I'd be delighted to get a book for my child from the charity shop. It depends on condition (and smell!) really. But i wouldn't be so rude to have raised it with you and would have quietly donated it to a charity shop.

Even if she thought this, there was no need for her to tell you how she felt. It was about how her son felt about it. I would rethink my friendship to be honest. It was a thoughtful gift. Don't let your frenemy make you feel different about it.

No, it was a sweet gesture. Your friend...well...not sure what's going on there.

Go with your gut feeling. This woman is an ungrateful rude friend. Maybe time to reevaluate your friendship
You did nothing wrong.

She sounds like a narrow minded idiot. I’d probably stop being friends with her. You did something thoughtful and it sounds lovely. And even if she did think it was dirty, which I’m sure it is not ( then decided to throw it away ) you’d probably just keep that to yourself. People don’t understand tack or discernment at all!

1957 Pinocchio is a treasure of a find, with history too which I find just lovely.

It's such a nice gift.

She sounds awful and as someone has already said, very narrow minded.

Your friend is ridiculous! That is such a lovely gift! I would have loved an old book. Don’t feel sad, she is the weirdo!

She sounds very ungrateful

So the book is probably out of print and you effectively bought him a rare antique book as a unique gift that he would have enjoyed. I think that’s really lovely. If you’d told her it was from an antiquarian book dealer she’d possibly have been thrilled!
One of my parents grew up with nothing and they would now feel very embarrassed to give something from a charity shop as a birthday gift so I sort of understand that perspective, but she was unbelievably rude to message you about it and reject your gift, rather than just quietly re-donating it.

I can pretty much be assured she doesn’t, to come out with such a rude comment, tells you everything you need to know. No idea about recycling, no idea about an immune system? Probably lives on fast food though and throw away clothes, so no , I strongly suspect she doesn’t buy from
Vinted because that would be too ‘trashy’fot her.

This

Is your friend scared of libraries then if she can't use books that have been read by others?

What a rude bitch your friend is, I think you should evaluate your friendship with such a person 🤗

I grew up with very little money, and all my books (I was an early and voracious reader) were from the library or second-hand.
I do however as an adult have the imagination and empathy to understand that a second-hand book is a lovely and thoughtful gift, and the basic manners to know that it’s not ok to send that message to someone who gives your child a present.

That parent is not much of a friend if they behaved like that to you. 1) it’s a lovely, thoughtful gift 2) in today’s world, reusing nice things is environmentally conscious 3) you also got him new books anyway! 4) if she didn’t want him to have it, she didn’t need to say anything except “thank you” and then quietly give it back to a charity shop 5) it’s just rude!

I would keep an emotional distance from this “friend”, personally. You are not in the wrong in any reasonable interpretation. They are, for making you feel anxious and worried.

Get it back, must be worth something to a collector?

Your friend sounds stuck up. Nothing wrong with second-hand stuff. She'd sooner put everything in landfill. Her poor child, sending a bad message about pre-loved items.

Send her this link and tell her to stop being such a snob.

Book Search Results for "1957, Pinocchio, Carlo Collodi" | MyBookWorth

Would have loved this gift for my toddler for the sentiment and as many of us are anti-waste. Your friend is an arse..

Your friend is being weird. When I was a kid and time seemed infinite, I loved that sort of stuff. 'Really old' stuff from when my gran was a kid that seemed like a different time and world.

Fgs what a bitch. What does she mean "been God knows where"? It's a children's book, it's not been sat in Hitlers bunker.

How incredibly rude of your friend. And so ungrateful. I’d respond by saying something along the lines of, I’m sorry you couldnt appreciate the thought that I’d put behind the gift, and presumably you allow your child to touch and read books in Libraries/school which have also been ‘god knows where’ ? So what’s the difference here?

When Dd was little we went very regularly to.our local charity shop so she could choose books. Once she'd had enough of them we took them back and bought some more. She loved choosing her books, it saved a fortune and meant she had an ever changing supply it was always on her terms, if there was a book she loved we kept it. Even now I do the same for myself.

I’m disagreeing with the majority here. I don’t personally think you should give second hand things as a gift for birthdays etc, unless it’s something specific that a person would like/collects ie, a first edition of a book or similar type of thing. I can understand why she wouldn’t think a raggy, discoloured, probably smelly book is a nice gift for a child. A second hand gift on a random day because you were in the charity shop and saw something they might like is different.

That being said, I wouldn’t have made a fuss over it, I would have said thank you and sent it back to the charity shop.

I was thinking exactly this!!!!!!