Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

This is cool - all about a book from a charity shop... https://www.facebook.com/reel/1236336965253259

I also just thought that she really didn't need to tell the OP that she threw the book away even if she did...not only is she a snob (with probably very little in reality to be snobby about?!) but she obviously has little or no respect for a friend's feelings probably not even considering that for several reasons her friend might be upset, nor does she appear to have any soul or intellect and comes across as more than a bit of a narcissist! 🙄😕

Your friend seems to have a low intellectual capacity! If anyone should be offended it should be you by her reaction. How sad The will deprive her son from The Joy of finding/reading an old story/book!! The beauty of books is that they will always remain new,! By that I mean the content of the book is always new to one has not read it! I love books am an avid reader since I was a child! It saddens me that so many children will miss out on the pleasure,the knowledge,the adventure of actually reading books!!

No doubt your friend would turn her nose up at a dirty old Renoir, or a first edition book owned by someone else too. There's just no pleasing some people. The takeaway from this... yes, she's entiled to be as particular as she wishes. It's her life and her child's life whether you or anyone else agrees with her sentiments or not. She could simply have handed back the book to you saying (and it is not perfect), "I am terribly sorry, but I cannot accept this book, but the others you gifted are lovely and very much appreciated". Clearly a step too far for her to acknowledge the positive. Irrespective, that doesn't entitle her to be "in your face rude". She certainly could not be accused of being gracious, or giving consideration to how you might feel!
I think you should now simply take it on the chin, keep it held high and move on to real friends, for she is not one of them, honestly. It is sad for the child, but that's life. I hope you can put this behind you, not dwell upon it and move on. Remember what they say, "There's nowt so queer as folk".

A few years ago I'd have thought it was a bit tight to give someone a second hand present, my in-laws used to do that with my children. However, I've since matured and love a charity shop so I don't see a problem with it now, it's the thought that counts. My daughter used to love Doc McStuffin and it wasn't popular anymore, so difficult to buy new toys here, one Christmas we managed to get her the whole collection of yous from FB marketplace and charity shops and they were her favourite toys.
I can see that the book was a thoughtful gift.

Oh that’s just awful! I absolutely LOVE finding little notes like that in books, it fills me with sheer joy. Also love it when people have highlighted or underlined certain sections so I can see what was important to them.

If it was me I would say I am sorry you feel that way I bought it because a friend looked it up and it was worth £250 due to the year it was printed so I thought it would make a lovely investment for (boys name) but if you still have it I would love to pick it up from you and gift it to someone else lol

you did nothing wrong! You bought some new books and this was an extra one that may go up in value and that is a fact!

even if she didn’t like that one book she shouldn’t have messaged you, be careful of such friends.

Even if she thought it why bloody say it. My ex mil used to buy me shit from boot sales and I mean shit. But I’d never told her .. it was a gift regardless

Books for children is ALWAYS a good thing!!! You did something good! I think, if it were me, I would gift the new books as the present, but then casually mention the other book, that way you can explain the sentiment behind buying it.

Just because a book is old, doesn't make it valuable.
Only 1st Editions are really valuable.

And if it was in any way valuable you wouldn't be giving it to a child, who's still learning how to care for books.

I think you are missing the point.
The point is she is dismissing a secondhand book as "eww.... grubby" yet antiques and (some) old books can be worth £100s or even £1000s.
Would she say "eww.... grubby" if the book was actually one worth £100s 🤔

Your "friend" sounds awful, clearly knows nothing about books. I wonder if she's ever used a library.
I'm sorry that your lovely and thoughtful gift got thrown away, she could have just given it back to you. Rude and nasty.

She was really rude. I love a charity shop and would have no issue with my DDs receiving something from one as a gift. I love finding books with messages in. That being said, I have a few friends/family members who seem a bit judgy when I mention something being from a charity shop so i’d probably not buy a gift from one unless I knew they loved a charity shop like me! Weirdly enough I find some people are anti charity shops yet will happily buy second hand from vinted!

She could've asked if you wanted it, rather than binning it.