Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

OP, I adore getting second hand gifts (for myself and my children). I prefer it to brand new things. Everything I buy my children is second hand if I can find it.

Your friend is being ridiculous. I agree with PPs who said she should have quietly binned it OR returned it to you and explained why gently... the way she acted was out of order.

I think thats a lovely gift.. i buy stuff like that from vintage sites and im not a child! Ask for it back from your 'friend' - apologise if it offended her but say its an early edition of some value?!

She should be thoroughly ashamed of herself. What an unpleasant person. Ask for it back. Maybe show her this thread? Miserable cow.

I would much rather receive used books than new ones as gifts. It doesn't spoil the reading. Your friend is strange.

I doubt she would have been so hasty to turn her nose up at it if it were a first edition worth 2.4 million.
What a kind thoughtful gesture of you to find it and buy it for him, I’d have been thrilled. I recently gave my daughter AND her partner second hand books as gifts and they adore them. Remember, her reaction says everything of her and nothing of you, I would suggest re-evaluating your friends, any person that makes you feel bad or question your kind and unconditional intention in this way is exhibiting a bit of control and let’s face it, the book was for her son, not her. This is a little lesson for you and she’s just shown you a little of her true personality that was spiteful and critical… I would not consider or call her a friend. And never stop finding such treasures, most people appreciate these special finds far more than new things which just make materialism and waste far greater. 🙏

Oh my word that is awful.
you should have done this in aibu and you would have got 100% yanbu. I prob would let that friendship fade. What an awful thing to think/do/say. So sad. Do ask for the book back so it can be loved again.

It might be worth a fortune

Your friend is an ungrateful rude bitch!

Oh no, my MiL has been reincarnated!

Lulu take it from me, you did nothing wrong here! I have been around the block more times than I can remember and have come across the good, the bad and the ignorant and this alleged friend is certainly the latter. If she had genuine issues, wrongly in my opinion but she should have kept those issues to herself and quiely tucked the book away somewhere to have been retrieved when appropriate.

I found a similar book, and I know the man it was addressed to - and he was elated when I gave it to him! Just for the record, the book you gave the boy is a collector's item. Yoor friend is a nasty piece of work. She should have said 'no, thank you', without the ugly words. I regularly buy books from chairty shops for myself, and family members, and friends.

Your friend sounds like a cock

Your friend has the problem. You bought gifts for her son through the kindness of your heart. She is the one that has the problem as it was from a charity shop. You bought new and old gifts. She has hurt you by acting the way she has. If she did not want the gift from the charity shop then she could have accepted it with grace and not hurt your feelings by telling you. I have had lots of gifts in my life and sometimes i have not liked them but they are gifts and you should be grateful someone has thought of you or your family. You are not in the wrong at all. Bless you.

That’s no friend she is a rude idi0t ! I would love that for my kids , the thought alone of passing on ssometjing with meaning is lovely imo

Your friend is an idiot. Source: just had a lovely day visiting markets and charity shops, I did buy a book from some of the latter and had to restrict myself from more and so I would love a carefully chosen book from 1957 as a gift.

In your friends defence, she's probably defending her child from diseases she imagines to be present in charity shops, that somehow don't exist in emm-non charity shops, but I think overall she's a moron.

Please tell me you replied.

That's so sad that you never pick up books from libraries, schools etc, I'm sorry to hear that the gift I thought your son would love has been wasted and you would have preferred a thoughtless waste of plastic instead. 😂

@luluxxx Is it possible that it is a cultural difference here? I had a situation with a friend at work where I had bought myself something from a charity shop. She said: "Oh, I couldn't get anything second-hand - it may have belonged to a dead person". We both laughed together in a friendly way but it is an example of an opposite cultural mindset.

How ungrateful.
you sound like a wonderful, generous friend and I would have been happy to receive that. I get a lot of books both new and second hand and definitely don’t think one is inferior.

What an awful woman! If she didn't want it, she should have given it to another charity shop.

I love a second-hand book, especially old ones. This one sounds like it had a lovely life!

Your friend is very ungrateful as this plus a couple of new books is a generous present for a child. I would reply back saying sorry, I realise second hand books aren't for everyone, please let me have it back and I will make sure it goes to someone who appreciates it.

She sounds a real madam annie.
You did no wrong op

your friend is a snob and weird. ditch her

That’s very rude of your friend - I would love if someone gave me a vintage kids book from the 1950s. There are people literally buying them on eBay and rare bookstores for tons of money and it’s a wonderful thing to stumble upon in a charity shop. Also theres nothing wrong with old books…good grief. But more than that it’s the thought that counts. Don’t second guess your kindness for a second! Also, I would definitely ask for it back as others have suggested so it can go to someone who appreciates it ♥️

Your friend is a dick. Its not like its the only gift you gave

I gave my friends little girl a kinda kicked in book of fairytales as part of a christmas present because it was an edition I had as child and put a note in about the stories I planned to share with her.

I think you sound a lovely considerate friend and her little boy is lucky to have you

I’d dump her, she sounds a bit dim and with a narrow view of the world. It was a sweet gesture, it’s not your fault if she’s limited.