How can I deal with my adult daughter refusing to wear a seatbelt?

[IdaSpare]

Please help, I'm at the end of my tether, my 21 year old daughter who will not wear a seatbelt either driving or as a passenger. She was always brought up to wear it and everyone else in the family always wears one. I think it's a sensory thing as she has always been very difficult about changing clothes or dealing with zips and labels etc but if she is going to drive a car, she has to wear it. It's quite unusual for me to be in a car with her anymore but every time recently I have been, I've had to tell her to put it on. I know she goes straight back to not wearing one when I'm not there. I've resorted to threatening to call the police on her myself but short of taking her keys off her I don't know what to do. I'm hoping I can show her this and she can realise how reckless and stupid she's being. Please, if any of you have any pearls of wisdom to share about dealing with a stubborn, know it all daughter, I'd be so grateful.

You don't drive a car with her in it until she puts the seatbelt on.

Harsh as it sounds I'd get the police to talk to her. Or at least threaten it. But you can't watch her all the time. How scary though.

I wouldn’t drive until she put her belt on.

Absolutely, and to be fair, the first thing I say in my car is put it on and she does, it's when I'm not in the car, which is most of the time.

Oh no

Sorry girl, this is one of those things where there is only one acceptable answer

Unless you want to fly through the fucking windscreen doing an emergency stop, you need to wear a seat belt.

You can buy extender to allow for more wiggle room?

Sorry you've already threatened her with the police.

I'd call the police as well, this is a matter of life and death

Kids at 21 are silly but this is a step too far

Show her some of those horrific adverts of what happens. Tell her selfish at the end of the day, it’s not just about her own safety.

Next time she leaves in her car, call the police and they’ll hopefully stop her, fine is £100 and can rise to £500

You don't go in a car (hers or yours) unless she puts the belt on.

Well I wouldn't get in a car with her unless she has it on, passenger or driver.
Beyond that unfortunately it's her life to throw away. Maybe a talk around her mental well being would help

Is she able to explain why she doesn’t?

I worked for my local road safety department.. just before seat belt introduced. .. we used to do campaigns and show video ( horrific) of what happened to people .. even in slightest of crashes without wearing one.. perhaps you can find some videos to show her.

Who's car is it? Who pays for the insurance? Does the insurance company know she doesn't wear a belt? Do not give her access to any car unless she literally owns it herself and pays for it so you can't stop her. And do tell the police if she does it again in front of you.

But of a stretch but does she have PDA? Only I know a young woman like this.

Make sure she doesn’t sit in the back because if she does she can kill the front seat person if she hurtles into them.

At least if she’s in the front it’s only her own neck she’ll break.

Have a word with the police about how best to contact them ie 101, text etc and do it every single time. Then when she’s fined, carry on reporting it again and again.

Could you drive into a solid object at low-ish speed?

This could give her a minor injury but a major wake-up call.

And no, not a serious suggestion…

Whose car is it? Is she driving your car? If she is, refuse to let her have it. She’s clearly slightly bonkers!

I wouldn’t drive with someone in the car who wasn’t wearing one, during an accident their body could injure or kill someone in the car.

If she does, she'll use it as an excuse to ignore the rules of the Highway Code as well. In which case she should not be driving.

So when she is driving does she use your car? I wouldn't allow her the use of my car if she won't wear a seat belt.

If she won't listen to you I doubt she'll listen to a bunch of strangers on the Internet. I certainly wouldn't let her travel in the back of a car without a seat belt because if she's in an accident the force of her being thrown forward will kill the person in the front.

The police have got better things to do than to go and talk to a 21 year old who's acting like a silly little child. She needs to grow up.

Show her this ad. Warning it is a pretty awful ad but very powerful

Before doing so, check it. You know your DD and this may be more than she cam handle but it may just make her understand what can happen

She’s a dill - show videos - there will be some on YouTube and call the non urgent police number and ask for advice.

If it’s sensory can you get a fluffy sheepskin cover - will that help

I wouldn't worry about protecting her feelings. A seatbelt could literally be the difference between life and death in a crash.