How can I deal with my adult daughter refusing to wear a seatbelt?

[IdaSpare]

Please help, I'm at the end of my tether, my 21 year old daughter who will not wear a seatbelt either driving or as a passenger. She was always brought up to wear it and everyone else in the family always wears one. I think it's a sensory thing as she has always been very difficult about changing clothes or dealing with zips and labels etc but if she is going to drive a car, she has to wear it. It's quite unusual for me to be in a car with her anymore but every time recently I have been, I've had to tell her to put it on. I know she goes straight back to not wearing one when I'm not there. I've resorted to threatening to call the police on her myself but short of taking her keys off her I don't know what to do. I'm hoping I can show her this and she can realise how reckless and stupid she's being. Please, if any of you have any pearls of wisdom to share about dealing with a stubborn, know it all daughter, I'd be so grateful.

She has her own car, which she’s paid for and pays her own costs and insurance.

Will her insurer care?

Not wearing a seat-belt doesn't increase her risk of being involved in an accident and her own insurer won't be paying for her injuries anyway.

And third party insurers will be happy as she'll be held to have been contributorily negligent for any injuries they have to pay out for.

Unless she's mentally ill she's just being stupid.

The pp was talking about how it isn't really that danger, so I suggested if it's not so bad.... She needn't bother buckling her small child in... 🤷‍♀️

The pp was talking about how it isn't really that danger, so I suggested if it's not so bad.... She needn't bother buckling her small child in... 🤷‍♀️

Goodness I would be furious with such stupidity.

Does she live at home? I think a stupidity tax in the form of a very high rent might be in order.

Nobody warns you it’s not the baby stage that’s the hardest.

wearing a seatbelt, complying with laws etc, will be a condition of her insurance.

She is effectively driving uninsured. She will lose coverage of her car if she crashes (I don’t care about that), she will not be insured to cover costs from any injury she sustains, eg counselling to come to terms with horrific scarring (I don’t care about that either), BUT she won’t have insurance for others to claim off for harm to vehicle or themselves (This I care about. It could affect me). And the victim injury claim scheme for people hurt by selfish idiots like your daughter doesn’t, and is shit.

Would she drive without insurance? If not, tell them OP. You aren’t able to effectively persuade her, other action might. How on earth did she pass her driving test? Report to all who need to know.

Because that’s the same…. 🤔

I mean honestly, I’d put my two year old on the back seat and say sit still….. they just would!! They would never have slipped off, climbed in between the seats, kneeled up and looked out the back! I’m assuming the 21 year old doesn’t do those things?

Not RFT but surely the warning alarm is activated?

Well, yes, statistically she may be unlikely to die but she's taking a huge risk by not wearing the seatbelt. The chances of her being involved in a car accident may be low, but the consequences if she is involved in one, even at fairly low speed, could be catastrophic.

Your child could sit as still as statue, that's not the issue is it? When they go flying through the windscreen in the event of a sudden stop...that's the issue...

They could IF their vehicle was involved in an accident. But I think the comparison you made is utterly ridiculous!

No child would sit still as a statue now would they?

A friend of mine wasn't wearing a seatbelt and went through the windscreen. It was just the 18th anniversary of his death.

My husband’s car will not move unless his seatbelt in on and plugged in! He has sometimes taken his belt off to reverse and wondered why the car wont move. I

I went to school with a boy who was amazing.

It was the anniversary of his death, aged 17, a couple of days ago.

He wasn't wearing a seat belt, sitting in the middle seat in the back and his mate crashed into a tree at 60mph. He flew straight through the windscreen headfirst and died instantly. Apparently not a mark on him, bar his head, a fact that still haunts me to this day.

Tell her you hope none of you have to go through what his family have had to live with, because of her stupidity.

OP if it is sensory related, then perhaps get her one of the many searbelt clips available on Amazon, which relieve some of the direct pressure of the belt on her body.

A different approach might help, as she's obviously blind to the safety argument.

Let her go without as a driver, and only as a passenger if she is sat in the front passenger seat.
That way, she only hurts herself and not others.

Doesn't her car 'ding' endlessly until she puts it on?

You tell her that she’ll have to stay at home or get her bus.

Then I'd send her some data about seat belt safety and not travel with her in a car any more hers or mine.

But the DD has a car that she’s paid for and insures etc herself.

Or, go on Youtube and have a search for seatbelt PSAs.

Yes, that’s more reasonable.

The police won’t speak to her, she’s 21 and knows that she’s supposed to wear it.
I would ask them to put a marker on her vehicle and then they will speak with her when they pull her over and hopefully issue her with a ticket. Alternatively she’ll get a letter from one of the vans because they check for the fatal four, speeding, people using their phones, no insurance and no seatbelts.

This
Statistically you are more likely to get involved in a crash a mile from your house

She's 21 she'll get fined and hopefully that will stop her