Should I cave and pack for my husband before our family holiday?

[KronkeyCroc]

going on holiday tomorrow and DH has gone camping with youngest for the weekend, after going mountain hiking Friday. And potentially heading out for a fun activity tonight (one I can’t do as I’m injured).

He’s not contributed anything to the planning of the holiday (booking it, airport parking, shopping for bits, thinking of kids entertainment so they’re not stuck on screens, organising the dogs home stay, booking seats together so our kids aren’t next to strangers, etc etc).

I really don’t want to pack for him but I do t know when he is going to find time. I’ll be packing for myself and the kids (too young to pack for themselves), would have spent the day washing, sorting house etc. he’s usually good and does do a lot around the house, does a lot of housework, takes kids to school etc. but mental load is all mine and I’m sick of it.

if I don’t pack his stuff I take the moral high ground but it know from experience it will make leaving more stressful as he will be chucking things in last minute in a panic and I’ll get resentment on holiday if he forgets anything. His bloody mother packs for his dad and he’s sees that as the norm. Part of me wants to cave for an easy life and to not have arguments. But another part of me is screaming don’t you fucking dare.

Thoughts…

Of course not.

How would you know what to pack? What will he feel like wearing? If he forgets anything that's down to him, not you, same as it's down to you if you forget something of yours.

I usually pack for everyone but that's because we only take 1-2 bags between the 4 of us so packing means making sure everyone's stuff fits in together. But DH would lay out whatever he wants to take. I don't do that bit for him.

He surely wont expect it ? Or do you normally pack for him ( which is odd )

id leave all fresh washing on his side of the bed and a suitcase open

while on holiday have a talk about mental load snd divvy up jobs - next holiday is all on him

Is he your husband or your child? I'd let him deal with the consequences himself.

In 23 years I have never packed for my other half. I give him a warning I am doing last washing so if he suddenly finds stuff to take that needs washing then that's on him. If he forgets anything that's on him. I pack for my 2 kids so I am already packing for 3, I touch nothing of his.

NO!!!!!

Children are adults who have their own homes and holidays now. I've been with DH for almost 50 years so not worried. He does lots of things for me including most of the housework.

Packing is no more than a 15 minute job for any competent adult.
maybe if it's only one night but I must be incompetent because for a week's holiday it takes me a couple of days at least. It takes a good hour to sort and pack medication.

I also think it makes sense for one person to do it otherwise you end up with two lots of toiletries or each thinks the other has packed the suncream.

Nope.

I’m guessing that if he was going on a trip with his mates etc he’d somehow recover his ability to pack…

I almost never packed for my DH in all of our 33 years of marriage. We each packed for ourselves.

I did have to do a fair bit of the packing for our last couple of holidays, and had to pack everything for both of us both of us to return from our last one but that was because DH was by then ill with swiftly advancing Motor Neurone Disease and did suddenly become extremely weak. He simply couldn't do it anymore. I then had assistance to get him and both sets of luggage through both airports and the ambilift to get on/off planes.

He died less than a week after we got home. ☹️

Assuming your DH has no medical issues or special needs that hinder him, don't pack for him. He should be packing for himself.

I do the packing for all of us in our house. I tend to get my husband to get out what he wants to take, and then I spread it all across the four cases, although if my times tight he will just pop it in himself.

As he has only one child with him then you’re ot really getting g a break this weekend. Leave him to pack his own stuff.

DH and I have always packed just for ourselves, I’m a ‘just chuck it all in’ type while he meticulously rolls up each sock to tuck tightly into his shoes and diligently fills in every corner of the case.
I can remember once his case was opened by Customs and the officer complimented him on his excellent packing. It was a very long while before he stopped mentioning that.

Please don’t! I am absolutely sick of hearing my friends complain about doing everything for holidays - booking, insurance, buying all of the clothes for kids AND husband, packing for kids AND husband. I say more fool them! It’s pathetic grown women who work too, playing the martyrs like they do. It will take him half an hour, don’t cave!

Never packed for DH on any holiday or his work trips away.I always packed for our children ( they all pack for themselves now as they are older, love it! 2 DS’s and 1 DD
DH would “joke” with me that some of his older work colleagues would have their stuff all packed by their wives- I would always reply -“f off!”
I don't understand this at all, we are not their maids/staff, we are not on this earth to serve the men, why do we allow this?