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Original poster

Should I cave and pack for my husband before our family holiday?

189 replies

KronkeyCroc · 31/05/2026 10:13

going on holiday tomorrow and DH has gone camping with youngest for the weekend, after going mountain hiking Friday. And potentially heading out for a fun activity tonight (one I can’t do as I’m injured).

He’s not contributed anything to the planning of the holiday (booking it, airport parking, shopping for bits, thinking of kids entertainment so they’re not stuck on screens, organising the dogs home stay, booking seats together so our kids aren’t next to strangers, etc etc).

I really don’t want to pack for him but I do t know when he is going to find time. I’ll be packing for myself and the kids (too young to pack for themselves), would have spent the day washing, sorting house etc. he’s usually good and does do a lot around the house, does a lot of housework, takes kids to school etc. but mental load is all mine and I’m sick of it.

if I don’t pack his stuff I take the moral high ground but it know from experience it will make leaving more stressful as he will be chucking things in last minute in a panic and I’ll get resentment on holiday if he forgets anything. His bloody mother packs for his dad and he’s sees that as the norm. Part of me wants to cave for an easy life and to not have arguments. But another part of me is screaming don’t you fucking dare.

Thoughts…

OP posts:
Stoicandhappy · 31/05/2026 10:16

Don’t you dare! I forbid you!! 🤣

Purplecatshopaholic · 31/05/2026 10:17

Don’t. Ffs op. Just don’t.

Tryingtobenormal124 · 31/05/2026 10:17

Ask him when he plans to do it. Tbh Id do it for the easy life if he's doing everything with the kids. If you're doing all the child care as well then not a hope in hells chance. Have a lovely holiday

Lomonald · 31/05/2026 10:17

You have done everything else so just do it for him it will save you stessing about it, i have been with my Dh 34 years not once have I packed a suitcase for him to go on holiday !

sammyspoon · 31/05/2026 10:17

Hell no. Don’t do it.

Nottodaty · 31/05/2026 10:17

He’s an adult he can pack for himself.

Married 23 years and have never once packed for my husband, he did once forget his pants but most places have shops. He didn’t do it again.

My sister and my friend both have to pack for their husbands…they did it once and then it defaulted to them.

Weekmindedfool · 31/05/2026 10:18

No

TheSandgroper · 31/05/2026 10:19

My dh packs the week beforehand if need be.

Although, tbf, I packed all the paracetamol etc for our most recent holiday and he needed it.

letshavetea · 31/05/2026 10:19

Absolutely not!! Why does it matter to you if he has no clothes? Tell him you’re not doing it and his body, his responsibility etc. Stick to it.

Alainlechat · 31/05/2026 10:19

Did he ask you to? Who packed for the camping trip?

Weekmindedfool · 31/05/2026 10:20

KronkeyCroc · 31/05/2026 10:13

going on holiday tomorrow and DH has gone camping with youngest for the weekend, after going mountain hiking Friday. And potentially heading out for a fun activity tonight (one I can’t do as I’m injured).

He’s not contributed anything to the planning of the holiday (booking it, airport parking, shopping for bits, thinking of kids entertainment so they’re not stuck on screens, organising the dogs home stay, booking seats together so our kids aren’t next to strangers, etc etc).

I really don’t want to pack for him but I do t know when he is going to find time. I’ll be packing for myself and the kids (too young to pack for themselves), would have spent the day washing, sorting house etc. he’s usually good and does do a lot around the house, does a lot of housework, takes kids to school etc. but mental load is all mine and I’m sick of it.

if I don’t pack his stuff I take the moral high ground but it know from experience it will make leaving more stressful as he will be chucking things in last minute in a panic and I’ll get resentment on holiday if he forgets anything. His bloody mother packs for his dad and he’s sees that as the norm. Part of me wants to cave for an easy life and to not have arguments. But another part of me is screaming don’t you fucking dare.

Thoughts…

He sounds like the stereotypical “fun dad” who leaves all the boring and difficult elements of parenting to you while getting to pat himself on the back as being a good father. He needs a reality check.

SlightlyAjar · 31/05/2026 10:20

Unless he has no arms and you haven’t mentioned this, obviously not.

letshavetea · 31/05/2026 10:21

The only time I’ve packed for my husband is when he was in hospital until two days before our holiday. We’ve been married 43 years.

AutisticLass2026 · 31/05/2026 10:21

Erm in my marriage I would look at he is doing something with the kids does a large amount at home so why not just to ease everyones load

Joolay · 31/05/2026 10:22

More importantly, how do you know what he wants to wear?

WonderingWanda · 31/05/2026 10:22

Do not understand any circumstances pack for him. Get your kindle and a cup of tea and sit in the car with yours and the kids stuff loaded and leave him to his last minute packing. Go without him if he is going to make you late. I don't pack for my dh, I don't buy his clothes, tell him what to wear etc. He is an adult. I'll never forget mil's horror that dh was ironing his own shirts for work when we first got together. Teen ds now has to iron his own shirts and both teens pack their own clothes for holidays. When ds forgot his pants and swimming trunks we laughed and lent him some of dh's but he won't forget again.

Endofyear · 31/05/2026 10:25

Honestly, it wouldn't occur to me to pack for my husband, any more than it would occur to him to pack for me! My mum always packed for my dad and I always thought it was bizarre 😳 her excuse was he's colour blind and doesn't see what goes together (but I think it was just control freakery!)

Savvysix1984 · 31/05/2026 10:25

Don’t pack for him. If he’s anything like my dh he’ll be done in 10 minutes. It’s not exactly a hard or time consuming task.

moggerhanger · 31/05/2026 10:27

I'd be so tempted to do it, but incompetently. E.g. dress shirt with cufflinks, suit jacket but no trousers, one pair of boxers, flip flops, woollen jumper (if going somewhere like Tenerife), paint-stained DIY joggers. But then I'm a mardybum.

SockPlant · 31/05/2026 10:27

my thoughts? there are zero circumstances where i would pack for my husband (well, there may be one or two where he was either paraplegic, or had to go direct to the airport because of some emergency)

Stay strong and don't do it.

ElectoralControversy · 31/05/2026 10:28

Does he have any essential medication he needs to bring?
Ask him as he's getting in the car/taxi whether he's remembered that. And his passport.

Anything else can be bought at the destination or lived without (assuming you're not off to climb Everest or anything)

ElectoralControversy · 31/05/2026 10:28

Edit for random double post

AImportantMermaid · 31/05/2026 10:28

No! Don’t be ridiculous. We share the load about most things but it would never cross our minds to pack for each other. It only takes 15 minutes to pack. It’s not a big job.

Lomonald · 31/05/2026 10:28

Joolay · 31/05/2026 10:22

More importantly, how do you know what he wants to wear?

This, i wouldn't know what to pack i honestly would need a list.

Raera · 31/05/2026 10:29

On this occasion because he has been with your child for the weekend I would help and avoid a stressful start to the holiday, or at least get things ready for packing so he can then choose which clothes he wants to take more easily.
Yup! Soft touch for a quiet life!