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Should I have my colleague’s four-year-old twins for an overnight stay?

180 replies

RoseMember · 29/05/2026 19:39

My friend (and co-worker) recently asked me if I’d be able to have her twin girls over night whilst she is at a wedding. They are 4 and currently in nursery/pre-school. Their parents have split and their father is sadly not very involved, has them when he feels like it, cancels a lot and most recently cancelled when he said he’d have them whilst she was on a girls trip away so she had to cancel her trip. She doesn’t have any close family/friends. We aren’t massively close but we do chat everyday, have lunch everyday at work and meet up occasionally outside of work.

Realistically it doesn’t sound like I’d struggle. I’d collect them from nursery after work which is a 3 minute drive from the office, go home and play/bath/bed. They have dinner at nursery.

My main concern is that the following day I am working from home (only a half day) and am not really sure how they’d do with that. It’s a Friday and I only have one meeting which I think will be cancelled anyway as the person who hosts it will also be at the wedding.

I haven’t said yes or no yet, just that I would have a think about it.

They are lovely girls and very bright, I have met them a few times and they know who I am so that isn’t a concern, but I don’t (yet) have any children of my own so am a bit dubious of saying yes.

anyone have any thoughts/advice? I’m trying not to let myself just say yes so she doesn’t miss the wedding.

OP posts:
ItsNotMeEither · Today 14:07

You’re a saint to consider this, but I’d strongly suggest if you do it, then do the babysitting in their home, where the twins have their own beds and toys and it’s already ‘twin proof’.

If they wake and miss mum in the night, being in a familiar environment will help.

The next day, if you’re trying to work while they play, watch tv or do craft activities, they won’t be poking about and accidentally breaking things in your home that aren’t meant to be played with.

mindutopia · Today 15:08

I wouldn’t mind collecting them from nursery and taking them to her house, but I assume the wedding is local as a work colleague, so would expect her to return herself at a reasonable hour and take over by say 10/11pm.

A childfree night out is a luxury you have when you have a co-parent, family help, paid childcare, etc. No way would I leave my dc with a random from work and get so drunk I couldn’t get myself home to safely parent. If you were happy to collect from nursery and get them to bed, I’d go to the wedding, breakfast, first part of the dancing, have a coke or AF fizz and be home by 10pm. I’d also pay you and provide food and drinks for the evening so you were well catered for.

KilkennyCats · Today 15:28

mindutopia · Today 15:08

I wouldn’t mind collecting them from nursery and taking them to her house, but I assume the wedding is local as a work colleague, so would expect her to return herself at a reasonable hour and take over by say 10/11pm.

A childfree night out is a luxury you have when you have a co-parent, family help, paid childcare, etc. No way would I leave my dc with a random from work and get so drunk I couldn’t get myself home to safely parent. If you were happy to collect from nursery and get them to bed, I’d go to the wedding, breakfast, first part of the dancing, have a coke or AF fizz and be home by 10pm. I’d also pay you and provide food and drinks for the evening so you were well catered for.

Edited

This.
Op, can you explain why she wants you to mind them while you work on the following day as well?
Who would normally look after them on a Friday? If she just wants a free day to sleep off her hangover she’s being an absolute cf.

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Nearly50omg · Today 16:23

What happens when they cry hysterically at midnight for their mom and can’t be settled? She needs to come home by night time and allow you to go home and have some sleep and be able to work the next day. She has no idea / doesn’t even seem to are which is worrying too - whether her children will settle and actually sleep for a stranger! You have no idea if a child will be fine staying away from home at someone else’s house until it happens and then a lot of children become very homesick and all they want is their mum and get more and more upset. If she’s turned her phone off/not answering it / what is the backup ? Nope she can go to the wedding and the do afterwards but there’s no reason she has to stay overnight and if she has to not drink alcohol so she can drive home to be with her children that’s what happens when you are a parent!!
she’s asking you to go above and beyond and also having them the next day as well?!?! Nope she’s taking the piss!!!! This won’t be a me off either you can guarantee that now she’s found a free babysitter!! Better to make it clear NOW that you aren’t being taken advantage of and collecting them from nursery, taking them home and putting them to bed in their own beds and then going home to your own bed by 11pm at the latest is what you will offer

Minglingpringle · Today 17:14

RoseMember · 29/05/2026 21:07

Thanks all for the replies. I’m not attending the wedding as I’m not friends with the bride, she was in our team before but moved department before I joined and as such we aren’t friends.

I have looked after my own nieces since they were infants and several of my friends have children and I’ve have them quite frequently. Regarding spending time with the twins I have been on several walks, park trips, shopping trips and been to their house a lot. (More than I realised I had)

the more I thought about this, the more I realised we are actually closer friends than I originally thought.

I did and do think WFH with them would be challenging but now thinking that perhaps I could drop them at nursery if she is able to book them in and then I could just go to the office, do my work and then go and collect them to go to hers/meet her there with the car seats.

OR she could come to mine after the wedding and then they could all go home together the next morning.

OR I could pick them up and then go to hers, settle them and go home when she gets in, I’m just unsure what time she’ll be home. She doesn’t have enough room for me to stay sadly.

OR if she is able to pick them up early enough the next day, I can just WFH. We have flexible hours so I don’t have to start/finish by a certain time.

I completely understand people that have their reservations, sadly she hasn’t had the best few years and we’ve become rather close in the last year and I would just love to help her out if I can somehow!

If you’d love to help her out, then do! You sound nice.

Lots of useful, practical suggestions on here on how to minimise the impact.

If she’s nice too, there’s no need for it to be the thin end of any wedge. You can say no at any time.

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