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Should I have my colleague’s four-year-old twins for an overnight stay?

180 replies

RoseMember · 29/05/2026 19:39

My friend (and co-worker) recently asked me if I’d be able to have her twin girls over night whilst she is at a wedding. They are 4 and currently in nursery/pre-school. Their parents have split and their father is sadly not very involved, has them when he feels like it, cancels a lot and most recently cancelled when he said he’d have them whilst she was on a girls trip away so she had to cancel her trip. She doesn’t have any close family/friends. We aren’t massively close but we do chat everyday, have lunch everyday at work and meet up occasionally outside of work.

Realistically it doesn’t sound like I’d struggle. I’d collect them from nursery after work which is a 3 minute drive from the office, go home and play/bath/bed. They have dinner at nursery.

My main concern is that the following day I am working from home (only a half day) and am not really sure how they’d do with that. It’s a Friday and I only have one meeting which I think will be cancelled anyway as the person who hosts it will also be at the wedding.

I haven’t said yes or no yet, just that I would have a think about it.

They are lovely girls and very bright, I have met them a few times and they know who I am so that isn’t a concern, but I don’t (yet) have any children of my own so am a bit dubious of saying yes.

anyone have any thoughts/advice? I’m trying not to let myself just say yes so she doesn’t miss the wedding.

OP posts:
CAMHShelp · 29/05/2026 20:06

I would but that’s because I have kids.
Realistically they will likely be fine until bedtime then start fussing and crying for their mum and be up and down for a while if not all night.
The next day should be fine. Movie and snacks when you need to work then off the to fresh hell that is play centres for the afternoon.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 29/05/2026 20:06

Do you have kids OP? One 4yo is a lot, 2 is probably triple as hard rather than double. Depending on temperament they may not go to bed, be up multiple times, there is no way in hell you'll get work done.

Nice of you to think of helping but I'm not sure you realise what you'd be letting yourself in for 😂

BrentfordForever · 29/05/2026 20:06

Did you say you don’t have any kids? And you’re hoping to take care of twins, in such young age 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Surely you’re joking…..

you know first aid ? Anything about risks, hazards when it comes to kids ? 🙄

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usererror99 · 29/05/2026 20:08

Why does it need to be overnight? How far away is the wedding if everyone else from your work is attending? My 4 year old twins were fine whilst I WFH the odd day but it’s a bit much to ask a colleague with no experience of caring for their own children let alone someone else’s not to mention twins to look after your kids overnight. Personally - and in a lone mum by the way too - I’d go and then leave the wedding to collect from you 11pm/midnight

OxRug · 29/05/2026 20:08

Haven’t you been invited to the wedding?

tiramisugelato · 29/05/2026 20:13

BrentfordForever · 29/05/2026 20:06

Did you say you don’t have any kids? And you’re hoping to take care of twins, in such young age 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Surely you’re joking…..

you know first aid ? Anything about risks, hazards when it comes to kids ? 🙄

Wow, what is wrong with you?

ohyesido · 29/05/2026 20:14

You can’t focus on work and care for one four year old never mind two, it might sound appealing and fun but the reality is likely to be quite challenging and chaotic

TY78910 · 29/05/2026 20:17

I second the poster who said go for a play date beforehand. And if you’re comfortable then I don’t see why not. Just don’t do bath - I wouldn’t be comfortable with anyone aside from DH and GM bathing my DCs. Just brush teeth, wash hands etc. The WFH thing - 4YOs can actually be quite self sufficient for periods of time, just ask that the mum leaves you with things they like, plonk on snacks in front of them, even telly / iPad if they’re allowed and you can probably get through the meeting.

HogletPatricia · 29/05/2026 20:17

Have you ever looked after a child of a similar age overnight/for an extended period during the day? On your own?

moderateme · 29/05/2026 20:19

BrentfordForever · 29/05/2026 20:06

Did you say you don’t have any kids? And you’re hoping to take care of twins, in such young age 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Surely you’re joking…..

you know first aid ? Anything about risks, hazards when it comes to kids ? 🙄

They’re 4, not babies. She’ll be fine.

HedgehogsOnTheWall · 29/05/2026 20:19

I have one 4yo niece who I know well and spend a lot of time with. Looking after her overnight is enough of a challenge! No way on earth would I look after two 4yos I barely know!

Overthebow · 29/05/2026 20:20

Can she book an extra nursery day on the firiday for them? I wouldn’t assume you’ll be able to be available for work at all with 4 year old twins there, particularly if they don’t know you well.

Pompelly · 29/05/2026 20:21

I'd probably do it but I might suggest you stay at her house instead of her twins staying with you.
They might settle better in their own rooms/beds than they would in a strange house.

TY78910 · 29/05/2026 20:23

HedgehogsOnTheWall · 29/05/2026 20:19

I have one 4yo niece who I know well and spend a lot of time with. Looking after her overnight is enough of a challenge! No way on earth would I look after two 4yos I barely know!

I have twin nephews and they actually entertain each other well. It all depends on the character oh these kids as well.

User573359 · 29/05/2026 20:23

Presuming there isn't some backstory about you being left out of the invitation and would rather be at the wedding, I think it's a lovely thing to do for a friend. But I used to babysit for friends a lot before I had mine because I enjoyed spending time with children as well as helping friends. If the idea fills you with dread or anxiety it's totally fine to say no.

You say you've only met up a few times outside of work, but if she has young twins, is a single parent and works she won't have much time at all for socialising and so probably sees you as a much closer friend than you do.

Bournetilly · 29/05/2026 20:24

How far away is the wedding? Could she not come home early the next day then you don’t need to WFH with them for long?

RandomMess · 29/05/2026 20:31

My tip would be to stay at her house and on the agreement she gets back home at day 9/10am in the morning.

zamble · 29/05/2026 20:32

I'm gobsmacked that any parent would ask this.

MauriceTheMussel · 29/05/2026 20:34

My immediate thought was: car seats…

and that’s just synecdoche for all the other shit you’ll need - blacked out room, favourite whatevers, all the palaver.

It’d be very kind of you, but you need to spend more time with these kids first

BrentfordForever · 29/05/2026 20:36

moderateme · 29/05/2026 20:19

They’re 4, not babies. She’ll be fine.

What?

did you just bother posting something that makes zero sense ?

Dontbeatwat · 29/05/2026 20:39

The amount of drama llamas on here.
I would do it without hesitation, it's one night!

CheeseWisely · 29/05/2026 20:40

BrentfordForever · 29/05/2026 20:06

Did you say you don’t have any kids? And you’re hoping to take care of twins, in such young age 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Surely you’re joking…..

you know first aid ? Anything about risks, hazards when it comes to kids ? 🙄

Give over, they’re not tiny infants. Before I had kids I’d babysat (overnight) for friends with kids younger than 4 and everyone survived. I was at their house though, which made it easier as they had all their familiar things around.

OP I think it would be a lovely thing to do for a friend.

BinNightTonight · 29/05/2026 20:40

I think it would be so lovely of you to help her, i think it says a lot about you/your friendship that she has asked this of you. Of course if you aren't 100% on board thats totally fine too.

Silverbirchleaf · 29/05/2026 20:40

lljp · 29/05/2026 19:56

You can’t work at home while caring for 4 year old twins. Are you willing to take annual leave?

This.

Silverbirchleaf · 29/05/2026 20:41

Could you do a test run, and have them for a few hours?