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Should I have my colleague’s four-year-old twins for an overnight stay?

180 replies

RoseMember · 29/05/2026 19:39

My friend (and co-worker) recently asked me if I’d be able to have her twin girls over night whilst she is at a wedding. They are 4 and currently in nursery/pre-school. Their parents have split and their father is sadly not very involved, has them when he feels like it, cancels a lot and most recently cancelled when he said he’d have them whilst she was on a girls trip away so she had to cancel her trip. She doesn’t have any close family/friends. We aren’t massively close but we do chat everyday, have lunch everyday at work and meet up occasionally outside of work.

Realistically it doesn’t sound like I’d struggle. I’d collect them from nursery after work which is a 3 minute drive from the office, go home and play/bath/bed. They have dinner at nursery.

My main concern is that the following day I am working from home (only a half day) and am not really sure how they’d do with that. It’s a Friday and I only have one meeting which I think will be cancelled anyway as the person who hosts it will also be at the wedding.

I haven’t said yes or no yet, just that I would have a think about it.

They are lovely girls and very bright, I have met them a few times and they know who I am so that isn’t a concern, but I don’t (yet) have any children of my own so am a bit dubious of saying yes.

anyone have any thoughts/advice? I’m trying not to let myself just say yes so she doesn’t miss the wedding.

OP posts:
BobbieTables · 29/05/2026 19:43

It's quite an ask. I suppose the answer is do you want to? If you do, then go ahead, if not don't. You won't be able to work looking after 4 year old twins though.

Trotula · 29/05/2026 19:49

It’s really kind of you to consider helping her, but if you have never looked after them before I think it will be horrendous! Particularly the following day when you are
working from home.
A compromise could be that you agree to look after them at hers until the evening so she can attend the main part of the day.

Unfortunately if she can’t do this because of distance then Iwould suggest you shouldn’t do it for the same reason! What if they don’t settle and are still up crying at midnight?
And you definitely won’t be able to work from home with them!
Im guessing you don’t have children but have looked after nieces/nephews in the past?
4 year old twins could be very tricky!
If you are still considering it maybe do a trial run afternoon?

Mischance · 29/05/2026 19:51

I think you might do best to spend some more time with them so that they get to know you a bit better before you do it.

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Chlorpool · 29/05/2026 19:52

I’d be very careful if you’re caring for a colleague’s dc whilst working from home. Surely that’s not allowed.

SandwichSuperstar · 29/05/2026 19:53

Tell her she’ll have to pick them up before you start work the following day.

Even if it means getting up very early.

She’d do it if she had a flight to catch.

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 29/05/2026 19:54

That’s a big ask. Have you met them? Do they know you? I know mine at 4 wouldn’t have stayed with someone they hardly know. I’d ask if she can come back to yours when the night do is over so she’s there when they wake up.

LandSsmum · 29/05/2026 19:55

I’ve worked from home with my 5yo today and I’m ready for the loony bin. She barely let me get anything done! It might be that twins entertain each other better but that might also argue constantly. That said, it’s a lovely age and I think you’d have a ball on the Thursday. Can mum not get up early and hurry back on the Friday? There’s no way I’d expect a favour like this without rushing back the following day unless I was categorically told not to

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 29/05/2026 19:55

You can't look after two 4 yos and work, that's not going to work!

They need to go to nursery on the Friday, if she's not able to book them in for an extra session (assuming they're not usually in nursery on a Friday or that would be the plan already!) then she needs to come home Thurs eve/ Fri am before you start work.

It's also a lot to expect them to be OK with unless you babysit them already and they're really familiar with you?

Wafflesss · 29/05/2026 19:55

It’s sad for her but realistically she needs to come home the night of the wedding or before 9am on the Friday. Or she needs to see if they can go to nursery as a one off on the Friday morning (if you could take them). I don’t think you should commit to looking after them while trying to work. I’d agree to the rest if you can, really nice thing to do.

lljp · 29/05/2026 19:56

You can’t work at home while caring for 4 year old twins. Are you willing to take annual leave?

BIWI · 29/05/2026 19:56

Will they not be at nursery/pre-school the next morning? If so, then I think it sounds doable - although will be a bit of a baptism by fire for you!

If they're not at nursery/pre-school, then you definitely won't be able to work. 4 year olds, never mind twins, need looking after.

user1471538275 · 29/05/2026 19:56

No. It's a terrible idea. 'You've met them a few times' is absolutely nothing like caring for them overnight.

She'll have to either decline the invitation or arrange to come back the same night.

RoseMember · 29/05/2026 19:56

I probably should have pointed out that my manager is in the bridal party and overheard this conversation and said as long as I’m available and online, she wouldn’t mind for the day. I work extra hours during the week and would have technically have already done my hours for that day. It’s just my manager can’t approve holiday for it as so many people are already off for the wedding. (It’s someone from work)

OP posts:
MissHavershamReturns · 29/05/2026 19:56

Could you put on a movie and work close by where they are watching it on the day after?

ThejoyofNC · 29/05/2026 19:57

I'd help her for the evening but she needs to come home. You can't WFH the next day whilst caring for strange (and very young) children.

user1471538275 · 29/05/2026 19:57

So why aren't you going instead of being babysitter?

Wafflesss · 29/05/2026 19:58

RoseMember · 29/05/2026 19:56

I probably should have pointed out that my manager is in the bridal party and overheard this conversation and said as long as I’m available and online, she wouldn’t mind for the day. I work extra hours during the week and would have technically have already done my hours for that day. It’s just my manager can’t approve holiday for it as so many people are already off for the wedding. (It’s someone from work)

I still think it’s a massive ask for the Friday for 2 kids you don’t really know. How far away is the wedding?

RS1987 · 29/05/2026 20:00

I would do it but ask her to collect them the next morning before you start work. It’s nice to help people out when you can and their dad sounds like a useless prick. But you can have boundaries too.

user1471538275 · 29/05/2026 20:00

Time for the father to step up and step in.

It is simply unfair on two 4 year olds to be dumped with someone who is effectively a stranger to them.

What's your experience in looking after small children? What if they are sick or upset?

Ineffable23 · 29/05/2026 20:00

I think if your manager has okayed the dodgy Friday then it's probably fine, but also would be totally legit to ask her to come home mid-late evening so you don't have to do the next day. Or could ask her ex to do the Friday, or the whole thing, but you agree to be a back up if he flakes?

olympicsrock · 29/05/2026 20:01

No way !

tiramisugelato · 29/05/2026 20:02

If your manager is okay with it, I would do it as a one-off, I think.

Carriemac · 29/05/2026 20:02

It’s a really nice thing to do for someone

Mumsntfan1 · 29/05/2026 20:03

RoseMember · 29/05/2026 19:56

I probably should have pointed out that my manager is in the bridal party and overheard this conversation and said as long as I’m available and online, she wouldn’t mind for the day. I work extra hours during the week and would have technically have already done my hours for that day. It’s just my manager can’t approve holiday for it as so many people are already off for the wedding. (It’s someone from work)

Then it should be fine. As long as you don't have a jobs where something urgent could crop up and take a while to sort out.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 29/05/2026 20:05

It could be a way to cement a friendship with this colleague, presuming you like her?

A friend in need...

I think youll be fine, kids can entertain themselves usually for an hour or so, just offer snacks and screen time during your meeting x