How often do 50 somethings have sex?

[Ginghamtablecloth]

I’m not a man and I’m not a troll. I’m asking as I was at a book club this morning and this exact question started a heated debate! Many of the ladies were adamant that over 50’s married women rarely have sex with their other half’s. Surely that’s not right. So please tell me is it? Chat

I’ll try and remember where I read it it was joint author’s one man and one woman. It certainly in my male opinion it wasnt writen in a way that was derogotory to women. It was very much the opposite

The power was with the matriachs who seemingly had their pick should they want it and were the most important to the tribe. We were the drones providing labour and the fertilisers.

Constantly- DH is hanging out of me as I type.

I know right, the 'we're at it 6-10 times a week even though we're nearly 60' brigade make me laugh. And moreso when they get annoyed at people doubting them.

As Victor Meldrew would say...

It's possible to have a lot of fun when you're newly single in your 50s, without shagging lots of random men.

Yep we have it 3 x week whereas back in the real world ……… lol

Exactly! 😆

At the moment we average 3-4 times a week. I doubt it will stay at this level for the rest of our lives. We have had patches of more and patches of less during our 25 year marriage. I don’t think it really matters as long as both parties are on the same page.

In the past year or so it seems to have really dwindled to maybe 2 or 3 times a month. I always had a decent libido but menopause and certain health stuff has had an effect.
I actually miss it and want to get it back as its a bit depressing. I think my clitoris has shrunk and when we have sex im still enjoying it and enthusiastic but it's frustrating because my orgasms are harder to get and they aren't anywhere near as strong as they were.

You have an interesting take on it if not a little negative “vile”.

I saw is as the difference between sex for reproduction and sex for pleasure. I thought it was interesting in regards to the thread as many women find their peak sexual enjoyment in the post young children and peri/menopausal non-fertile stage of their life.

This would then be a bounus to have access to men who are younger and at the peak of physical fitness and in a tribal scenario would have been free from the patriarchy/shame of organised religion and probably also had a life partner as you do. "the best of both"

You can have a happy sex life, not want a long term committed relationship and not just go round shagging randoms you know.

58 here and three times a week but I am in a LDR so only see h8m at weekends

I returned to this thread and feel like I am missing out so, so much.
I am constant pain and have tried everything - HRT, oestrogen pessaries and all sorts of moisturisers. The pain radiates down my legs and across my bum as well.
Everything has shrunk.
I can’t even put underwear on it leaves me in agony.
It is affecting my relationship.

I think for plenty of women my age -64 , fun doesn’t mean sex if I’m being honest - fair enough for those that it does, I lost interest around 54 - and to be honest I could be living with a younger Hugh Grant and still wouldn’t be interested , even in a new relationship I wouldn’t be, which is why if I divorced it would be to be on my own or meet someone else who was no longer bothered about it - I am beyond the stage I will force myself to be interested.

It may sound bonkers but aparently if your a women and you tell the NHS that your health issue is efectig your male partner you are more likley to get better treatment!! It was only mentioned on another thread last night.

Maybe worth try if you havent already and I wonder how many other women are in your position too x

I get that, and each to their own, but in my particular post I was referring to "having fun" as great sex. The subject was about having sex after all.

That said, nobody should do anything they don't want to do. x

I am not going to talk about me but someone I know is in her 80s and had a prolapse. She was told very seriously that if she had a certain sort of pessary she wouldn't be able to have sex. She isn't in a relationship - and was somewhat amused that they thought she'd still be "at it!".

So there are clearly enough older people having sex for the medics to feel the need to discuss it.

54 and b/f (new ish relationship- 10 months) so about 5/6 times a week - we never go more than 2 nights without
I think it’s sad that 50 somethings / those in long term relationships are happy to neglect this area of their relationship
I can understand that this happens if people have got v young children and life is a complete whirlwind then

Thank you. I have tried everything, gone private, had testosterone.
It’s definitely not a libido problem.
It has been 5 years now I think it’s just the area is so atrophied now it’s impossible.
Paid for therapy as well, specialist physio.

Yep I totally agree - I do know several that are still interested early 50’s! None though to be honest who aren’t with a newish partner !! I think it’s a very mixed picture beyond 50 - same with men too

2 -3 times a week on average but no kids at home and plenty of time

Well I'm not in my fifties (I'm 39) but my partner is 56 and we have sex around 3x a week (together 10 years). Can be more or sometimes less. We do have a young child though.

Sounds hard hopefully something in the future may come along or someone on here with a gem of advice x