How often do 50 somethings have sex?

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I’m not a man and I’m not a troll. I’m asking as I was at a book club this morning and this exact question started a heated debate! Many of the ladies were adamant that over 50’s married women rarely have sex with their other half’s. Surely that’s not right. So please tell me is it? Chat

I think many people past their early 50s will have sex a lot less than they will admit to. (Some will have stopped it altogether by their mid-their late 40s. But very few will admit it) People want everyone to think they're at it like rabbits, and as I say, most people will not openly admit they're not shagging anymore. Men moreso.

I take it with a pinch of salt when someone past their early 50s says they're shagging daily, or even 2-3 times a week. And as for 3-4 times a day, LOL, come on! 😆 No-one is shagging this much, especially people in their 50s or older... Most women I know can't be arsed with it anymore.

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I tend to notice men on days out with a “Big camera” That’s a sign the sex has stopped!!

Every xmas open my presents dreading the appearance of the Big Nikon 😔

I think most of us enjoying sex in this age group (say 40s and 50s) are not always having sex with the same person. That way the spark stays alive.

😆 😘

Regular sex in this age group is with a new partner, not the person they've been with for 20ish years. Lots of couples split in their 50's.

In addition times have changed and there are plenty of sexually active singletons in this age group who have no intentions of a long term relationship but are having lots of fun.

The idea that sex stops at 50 or that this is the norm is very strange. Obviously you will have outliers in those who go several times a day or several times a year but the idea that it's only the single or new relationships shagging is not right. Yes ED, menopause and vaginal atrophy play a part but little blue pills are worth their weight in gold, hrt is wonderful and creams for vaginal atrophy especially ( which also prevents uti's). All awful but all also easily fixed for the majority. There will be variability but if the general assumption is that sex stops that is completely incorrect. 50 isn't even old. For me it's several times a week, more on holiday, and long may it continue. I would be amazed if any of my friends have stopped.

I think some men are reluctant to admit they need assistance so will prefer to just not have sex and pretend to other people and themselves that they still are. For women, it's not easy for everyone to access a GP who is knowledgeable about the menopause and might not know about atrophy and poor libido so the whole thing becomes Too Much Bother.

There's treatment for vaginal atrophy...

Me too- it came on during menopause, I was too embarrased to get it sorted and then just went totally offxsex and given that my H only ever seemed interested in giving oral - I know a lot of women would like this , but to be honest I found it tedious for years and years on end and had been married 20 years at that point

We're all posting anonymously here, and plenty are admitting to no sex at all, why would anyone lie?

It sounds like you're in denial. Are you feeling so insecure about your own libido you have to convince yourself that anyone having regular sex must be lying?

You can take it with any amount of salt you like but I'm almost 55, husband well into his 60s, we're still at it regularly and neither has any medication for it. TMI but I interrupted reading this thread for a brief but delicious shag when he came to bed. We just both like sex and each other.

What are you basing this on, that all these problems are easily fixed?
Viagra and other ED meds are contraindicated with some other medications such as BP meds. For some men they cause side effects such as digestive problems/ upset stomach. Plus they don’t do anything for loss of libido.
HRT isn’t a magic fix either. Just because it works for some women doesn’t mean it works in the same way as it does for others.
Is the marketing on pharmaceuticals so effective that people genuinely believe that these things are like waving a magic wand? It’s far from the truth and besides, not everyone has access to the right treatment for a variety of reasons.

I agree but would add that the newer injectables are supposed to be way better than pde5 pills. With caverject you don't even need to be aroused. You could literally watch TV and it'd be standing up.

If all else fails there are implants for about £15k which can be inflated discreetly with a few squeezes of a small pea sized pump hidden in the ballsack. They apparently feel natural as they just replace the fleshly bit that usually gets engorged.

It's amazing the random things I read to satiate my restless mind. 🤣

It figures that sex drive lowers as you age. We are animals designed to procreate. When people age they don’t so I guess the urge and libido usually naturally lowers. It’s weird how so many people deny this.

Never, sexless marriage here due to medical issues causing about 5 years of nothing now it’s just wayyy to weird to consider.

It may not always be straightforward but ED is very treatable. Viagra is expensive and I don't believe men on other medication that interferes with it would waste their money. You are right that obviously you also still need desire. Viagra doesn't work without it but if that's the case that's a whole different issue and I know men- mostly over 50. There is generally not a shortage of desire for women in general. I also don't think the original question was about couples who no longer desire each other staying together, it was stereotyping over 50's as being too old for sex which is nonsense. With regards to easy fixes. Vaginal atrophy is easily fixed in the majority of women. Google it. Catch it early and apply twice a week. It a bit of a pain but much better than the constant dryness and uti's and it massively improves sex lives. HRT is also very effective. Estrogen and progesterone
can improve general symptoms and just make women feel more like themselves which can help but for low libido testosterone has been proven in clinical trials to help low libido. Also menopause doesn't necessarily mean a loss of libido so 50 is by no means past it! That's another stereotype. It can increase libido, or leave it unchanged. HRT is easily accessible for menopause if you are over 45 now..I am not saying these things are always straightforward but there are fixes easily available, and no reason women need to allow vaginal atrophy or hormones to interfere with their sex lives in many cases, or men to suffer with ED in today's world. It's obviously personal choice and if people don't want sex that's fine but don't blame it on age. That's an excuse not a reason.

Goodness me, there’s absolutely no chance I could have wax 4 times a day. He could be the hottest, funniest & nicest guy ever and it would still be a no!

Don’t think we’ve done it since I turned 50.

It is still related to age though. That’s like saying wrinkles are not due to age, that’s an excuse because Botox is easily available.

I read an interesting article that attempted to debunk this for women in particularly. It suggested that in some accident tribal societies menopausal non fertile older women had potentially a sexual role to play within the tribe. That they were the matriarchs and that they would absorb the vitility of the younger firtile men while the younger fertile women were dealing with having and raising children. Reducing unwanted pregnancies and keeping moral of everyone happy.

In the context of today I find it interesting that many older women who go onto the dating apps are very surprised to be propositioned by much younger men as the dating apps have made the ability to meet each other easier and with less stigma on both parts as can be done discreetly as in some circles is still frowned upon.

Just thought Id throw that one in there. In the article the older men were happy to go hunting with the younger chaps and whilst slower and weaker provided skill and knowledge of animal behaviour and terrain handed down farther to son.

They apparently were not always that successful and he tribes mainly relied on the gathering of vegetables, nuts and pulses by the older women and men relied on women’s labour while seemingly being the big I am hunters!! maybe not much has changed xx

Doesn’t that perpetuate the myth though that sex (in this case with the older women) is something that women give to men. No source from the article either.

l feel it dismisses the fact that women, older and younger are sexual beings in their own right.

ln my late 40s, l’m often hit upon by younger men for whatever reason, one told me he wS 21! Some have a more stylish approach than others. That’s the difference between “maybe l would” and the dead creepy.

So basically they’re being sperm banks for younger men? Sounds vile. I’m in my 40s and I find younger men are definitely interested but it’s likely more of a milf/fetish thing and they wouldn’t usually want anything long term. I’m married anyway so it’s irrelevant.

Doesn't it also perpetuate the myth that men just have to have sex otherwise chaos will follow so best have sex with the 50+ year olds.

This is an unusual take. Why do you presume people are lying just because they are different to you?

We're both 52, married 30 years, 2 older teens, we have sex probably 3 times on average. Occasionally once a week, sometimes 5 or 6 times. I'm post menopausal, been on HRT since late 30s. Neither of us sleep well so are often awake at 2am when teens are asleep or up early- kids never awake at 6am!

Everyone is different at different stages of their lives. We weren't anywhere near this frequent when we had babies in our 30s. Coming off the pill massively increased my libido.

Never. DH has got heart problems which means ED and he can't take medication for it as it interferes with existing meds. He gets so frustrated/angry when we attempt anything that it's best just left alone.

I never imagined this would be my life in my mid 50s in honesty.