Well, it was £400k over 12 years. He fooled everyone, even the accountants - I'm sure he had a good story that was plausible. Buying the motorhome on a lease basis, good trade-in value on another car, hire purchase - etc etc.
DH and I have never pooled our incomes. We put the same amount each into a joint account that takes care of all our household expenses, and what's left is our own. (If we hadn't have done this we would have been divorced before we even married
). So I genuinely would have had no idea what he was spending, and could have believed any of the above stories if told with enough 'panache'.