Who enjoys wine daily? No judgement please! Just curious to know who else enjoys wine as much as I do and if it’s common or I am just crazy!

[Biosblbay]

So I do have two very young children, aged 3 and a 10 month old baby and I work full time so things can get very stressful. It gets to about 6pm and I just crave a glass of wine every single night and it definitely helps after a very hectic day! To be honest I have always had at least 1 glass of wine most nights from the age of about 25, I am now 32. Some people I know think it is mad that I have a glass or two almost every night but I feel this is so normal, especially for Mums. Who else is with me on this or am I not normal?! 😂

Do the daily drinkers never drive anywhere in the evenings?
I live rurally with poor public transport and belong to a hobby group, a few friendship groups and a charity, and need to drive to evening meet ups.

People keep going on about.. it's the routine of it, it's the ritual of it, the taste of it....

No, it's the EFFECT of it. Otherwise you can have a "fancy" non alcoholic drink, in the same glass, the taste of which you like instead. But that doesn't quite cut it, does it?

I did for a few years but it caught up with me as I got older - I rarely have a drink in the week now. I will if there's a particular reason for it - like meeting up with friends or a nice dinner out in the week. But very rarely just sit at home and have a glass or 2. I lost a little bit of weight, slept a bit better and tended to do a bit more in the evening.

No judgement - but I'm better not doing that.

It’s a group 1 carcinogen. I stopped drinking, smoking and eating processed meat because they are all proven to cause cancer.

I also don't understand parents who are on their own in a house with kids and drinking in the evening. Say if something happened and you couldn't even drive to a hospital.

Of course lots of people commonly want to drink alcohol… it exists because it’s pleasurable. But 7 175ml glasses of wine is 16 units. 14 is 32 units. Far above the safe maximum intake.

I love a glass of wine but found that one most nights was turning into 2 and adding it up it was waaaay more booze than I should have been drinking each week. I’ve reduced it now to a couple of glasses on a Fri and sat either at home or out with friends and maybe a glass with Sunday lunch if we are having a roast. You need to try and give your body a break a few days a week, it’s not great for your liver and can become a slippery slope…

Lots of parents don’t drive at all so I’m not sure that this is relevant.

The ones who say they're only having one glass, also think that put them under the drink driving limit. Never mind that one glass could be 250 to 300mls or more.

Lots of parents do. Also being impaired looking after small children/babies is not on and 2 or 3 glasses of wine will ABSOLUTELY impair you. Kids are unpredictable and can fall sick at the drop of a hat. So no, drinking when you are in sole charge of a small child is wrong.

I used to drink daily, I know the trap but I NEVER drank when I had the kids alone. That was a non negotiable and I was a daily drinker.

I don’t have children and I don’t drink so I’m not being defensive but considering lots of parents can’t drive I’m not sure that “what if your kids need to go to hospital” is really a strong argument, that’s all.

I don't think needing a drink every night is normal or healthy, I say that as a borderline alcoholic if you 'need' it that's alcoholism.
I will drink in the week, but will have at least a couple of days off to give my liver a break.

But you’re not drinking in moderation… you’re drinking over the recommended maximum. The definition of in excess… you’d be classed as a heavy drinker if you drink every day even if it’s just one or two.

At the problem stage you can add ‘ I hate having it!’ The cycle continues.

I felt this way with cigarettes before I finally knocked them on the head 14 years ago.

What if you kid vomits and you don't wake up? What if you don't hear your child get out of bed. What if you don't react in time if your child needs you?

You cannot tell me that a person who has had 2 or 3 glasses of wine has their full capacity to look after a child as well as someone who has not.

The parents who don't drive argument is weak. A huge amount of parents drive. If something happened where their child had a rash or fell or took ill and they had to get them to the hospital fast..could they? No.

I used to, and then it became a crutch.
I feel a lot better since I addressed the situation.
Im not completely teetotal now, but I only drink very occasionally.

I never regret the wine I didn’t drink.

All those things could happen even if you were stone cold sober. I’m not defending drinking I just don’t think a parent needs to be made to feel guilty if they do choose to have a glass of wine occasionally.

Nothing wrong with it as long as you are not in sole charge of a child. Also we are not talking occasionally as per OP, we are talking nightly.

Of course those things could happen if you were sober but you can deal with them a hell of a lot better when you are sober.

Exactly. So many people drink over the recommended amount but because it’s so normalised they don’t see the issue.

My parents were both drinkers when I was young and while they weren’t “drunk” their behaviour definitely changed when they had a drink. If MN had been around then they’d be arguing that their half a bottle a night was fine and that it wasn’t enough for me to notice or for it to cause a problem.

A friend of mine can pinpoint the day when alcohol went from fun to a problem. A family issue arose for her that sent her head somewhere else she said. Drinking a bottle of wine in the evening was the only thing that numbed her pain. That family issue lasted 12 years. Once she finally resolved the issue she just stopped! She said she didn’t need the wine anymore. That was a year ago.

From the outside looking in, I really thought she was an alcoholic but she just had a mental health issue brought on by trauma.

Wonder why. Certainly crazy and mad doesn’t sound like the right words for it-
‘Am I crazy to have (insert any substance) every day as I crave it and it helps me.’

And the ‘especially mums’ bit - not many of us fell for that stupid marketing actually.

What ‘especially mums’ do is stay alert, stay on top of things, and go for a run.

I understand. My mum was a glass or two of wine woman when I was a teen, she was teetotal pretty much before then. I could tell because she always put on this irritating affected way of speaking after a glass and it wound me up. Over time it turned into mugs of gin.

Not often, I used to have a glass in a Thursday but this isn't the case any longer. I love a glass of wine but my hangovers and headaches are over powering. As long as it's in moderation. I think a glass a day isn't particularly good for your health

I am judgey. I dont think its normal, but i think its been normalised.
I equate the inability to get through a day without alcohol to take the edge off with being a non-coper.

So if I ate a steak and sausages every single night and then more on the weekend, that would not be good for my health. Or two slices of cake on a weekday and a full cake on Saturday and Sunday. Of course this is not good for you.

And then if you add to the fact that your body 'craves' it now. And for you relaxation instantly involves that thing, and you don't know how to relax without it, of course it's a problem. What would happen if you couldn't drink (for whatever reason) for two weeks?

Btw as an interesting analogy. If you wrote 'my child plays an hour of computer games every day. Four hours on the weekend. He absolutely needs it at the end of the day and is bad tempered without it. On weekends he doesn't know how to occupy himself or relax unless he's on his Xbox.' Is that a problem?

(For me they both are...but any minute now someone will accuse me of being a left wing pearl clutcher...).