Have I been uninvited from this party?

[Ironplate]

This is all far to ridiculous for grown adults, but...

What I thought was a good friend is sulking with me. I don't really know why, she's been very easy to upset for the last 18 months, with several episodes where she won't return calls for days, then everything seems back to normal for a while...until the next time. I've obviously done something, but I don't know what it is. I've tried asking and she always says it's fine.

Anyway, last weekend she and her DH unfriended me on FB (I know!) and her adult daughter turned her back on me at an event last week. None of them have ever told me what's wrong, there's been no big falling out.

Her DH has a big birthday coming up, she's organising a surprise party with invitations via a FB event. Both BF (also unfriended) and I received and accepted the invitation 3 months ago.

I have to admit I'm not looking forward to it and wondering if it's best if I don't go, but there will be loads of mutual friends there who will think it very odd if I don't.

I thought I'd have a look down the guest list for "safe" people to talk to, but I can't find the event. If it's not in my events, does that mean I'm no longer invited? Or is that because of the change in friend status. Am I going to have to ask someone I know is invited to check?!

She's never told me we're not invited, is univiting even a thing in FB? If I hadn't checked, how would I have known?

I don’t think it’s terrible to do as I suggest and ask a friend to check if she’s invited. I mean she probably has been uninvited but not been told straight out.

Not sure why some are saying block without getting an explanation - that just lets her get away without being called to account for really shitty treatment of someone who is supposed to be a friend. If this was me I wouldn't let the person off the hook that easily.

Honestly. I think if you do it with this person she’ll ignore.

I would make sure you let your decent friends know exactly why you're not going, rather than let this numpty control the narrative. I've made that mistake too many times in the past.

Funny how your friend has been "off" with you for 18 months while coincidently you have a boyfriend of 18 months that she has said was rude to her. Look closer to home...

The host doesn't want to know her.

Why on God's earth would they invite her to a party??

She'll be the laughing stock of her friends if she has to 'check if she's invited' 🤦‍♀️

I can't cope with W⚓️'s anymore. 🤣

Wash yer hands of her

Yes yes you have

Never mind uninvited - read the room and recognise you would not be welcome if you did turn up (for whatever reason), Yes there maybe mutual friends there but if the host clearly is not wanting you at the event she is hosting don't go unless you are prepared to deal with the resulting drama.

Yes a read of OP’s previous posts are quite enlightening.

Oh I absolutely couldn't be bothered with someone this childish! Just don't go and if anyone asks, just say she's taken the hump with you, you don't know why and you didn't think you were welcome at her party!

To reference your other thread, you have seen this person at other events and they have blanked you. Why would you even want to go OP?

Nobody will find it odd you're not there. Have you ever been to a large party and thought it 'odd' a specific person wasn't present? If they were close enough to you then they could always speak to you and ask why you're not. But surely it's just either you were busy or not invited.

But yeah they obviously don't want you there if they unfriended you. Unfortunate as that may be.

I get that you probably hope to find out the reason for them shunning you but I don't think turning up at the party will get you the answers you want.

How rude. A typical gratuitously unpleasant MN post 🙄

They are a group of friends and in such a group people it’s quite NORMAL ask where’s so and so
at an important event.

If she doesn't have the courtesy to tell you what you have allegedly done wrong to her and speak with you like an adult then she's no friend and she needs to grow up.

I would delete her number and leave her to her petty little ways.

Having seen your previous posts, you are properly hard work. Just don’t go .

Have you got children OP?

You turned up anyway despite not being invited? 😐

Does her DH control her?....

I know that it's old fashioned , but SPEAK to her. Pop round hers on some pretext (borrow or return an item). Bring the conversation around to the party. Read her body language

The entire family is refusing to talk to you OP. Are you that tone deaf that you don't realise that you aren't welcome at the party?! Etiquette for RSVPing to parties is reserved for people who respect you back and don't blank you like a 9 year old. Just move on. Whether you want to admit it or not you are trying to create more drama here. I realise that it's a longstanding friendship and you're upset but honestly what adult has time for such bullshit?!

Wow - have you absolutely no pride?

I am so embarrassed for you - Why would you do that? You went somewhere you werent wanted just to piss her off? You do realise she will have been laughing her arse off afterwards about you being so desperate to be included that you behaved like that?

It was probably worth not throwing you out just to see you being passive aggressive all night.

Apparently some people don’t understand what not being invited means and are so desperate that they behave like that 🤣

Of course you can’t go to the party! The hosts don’t want you there!!
Just tell your other friends why you’re unable to go.

It's 1+1 stuff though. You're not friends anymore, just block the daft twats and get on with your life.

If she has deleted you on social media and told
her adult daughter to ignore you at an event- then she doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, does she?

Of course you shouldn’t just turn up to the party or even send apologies. In no way is either option rude. Because the friendship is over.