Things you never wanted that other people struggle to understand

[Notallwantit]

Hi all thought id start a thread on this to see if therer is others out there.
I read on MN about driving, buying homes marraige ect, and we get posters that have a rant at the next about why you dont want theses things.

So what things did you not want or have that outsiders just dont understand.
For me its the following.
I never wanted to own a home, drive a car or even learn to drive, also never wanted to get married either.
And never wanted children.
I have no interest in any of it, however some cant get there heads around it.

No interest in marriage, having a partner or kids. Even as a child I knew I didn’t want any of that.

I never wanted to be an air hostess (or flight attendant I think they are called now). Apparently all little girls want to grow up to be one.
Nope.

I love the security & privacy of owning my own home but I can also see that renting works for people who aren’t after that kind of commitment.

Marriage was a bloody nightmare & I’ve never been interested in having kids.

IRL I’ve never talked to anyone who’s (visibly) judged my choices, but on MN there are always people saying they feel sorry for non-parents. Shall we place bets n how long it takes for someone ask why non-mums are on Mumsnet?

Edited to add that I get confused when people say they don’t want a cat. But then it’s totally reasonable not to.

Have a nice car.

I live in the Highlands with not very good roads. I need a car that can get through fords and that I can steer into a hedge for safety if suddenly lose traction in the ice and snow.

I once washed my car and it looked fab... but you couldn't tell if done it by the time I got home.

Quite happy with what I've got.

Friends.

I'm a shit friend (I forget people by mistake, don't reply to messages, won't go to events o nights out). I know I am and tbh, I don't get much out of friendships either. I was very transactional about them.

Now I don't have any friends by choice and I don't want any. This seems to confuse a lot of people, particularly when they realise I mean it and genuinely don't have any friends at all, just a friendly relationship with colleagues and a passing acquaintance with DP's friends.

I also really actively dislike holidays. I find them really stressful so I have never gone on one as an adult beyond 2 seaside long weekends in 15 years because I felt guilty about the kids never having gone anywhere...

I don't like going away on holiday and it's astonishing the number of people who struggle to understand that.

I understand you clearly to much faffing for me.

A relationship and children. A 9-5 job. It hasn't always been easy to make those choices (I've had the 9-5 job in the past), and it's expensive paying all bills alone, but it's worth it for me.

A romantic relationship or children. I just really like peace and quiet and my own company, I’ve never met someone I enjoyed spending time with more than being by myself! I get the impression from friends/family/colleagues that they feel sorry for me and think I’m making it up because I haven’t met someone.

Same. I find them stressful to organise and I spend the whole time away wanting to get back and check everything is ok on the farm.

Fame - I like my privacy and the idea of people knowing who I am and taking photos of me is horrifying.
Dogs - I find them irritating and needy. I don’t really want the impact on my life of any pet (harder to go away, expense, vet trips, routine driven by them, smelly
house, etc) but dogs I think are the worst for it. And half of them aren’t even cute.

Children, I just wasn’t interested in having them. People assumed I’d change my mind, my ex fil was appalled, said I was selfish and that I’d regret it.

Fancy cars.
Going out for a coffee. In fact going out in general, I love being at home.

Having a bigger house. I’ve absolutely no interest in spending more of my earnings on a bigger house I’d likely not be around to enjoy because I’d have to work more to afford it. I’m actively choosing to stay in my one-bed flat which costs 10% of my income, so I can work less and spend money on things I enjoy. Also
no interest in marriage, children or cars.

I have a suspicion that wanting to have children is entirely a pyramid scheme and no one has ever actually genuinely wanted them just the sense of contentment they've been socialised to expect will come from them then doesn't

BUT I accept this could be wrong

Edit...misread title

Not remotely interested in getting a nice car, bigger house, or marriage. Also holiday once a year only, as they are a hassle.

Have an old car, small house and partner. Perfectly content.

To get married. I’m fine with a stable, long term relationship but I’d want to be with someone because I wanted to be with them, and them with me, not because there’s a bit of paper saying we are a couple.

Buying new things - clothes, household stuff, phones, cars - because they’re fashionable or the latest model. I keep using things until they break.

A fancy car. Mine is 19 years old and I use it to ferry my two big muddy dogs around and to drive to the stables where I get muddy, get hay in it, use it to transport things I probably shouldn’t on the farm 🤣 so a fancy shiny car holds no value for me. I don’t really enjoy driving and only do it out of necessity.

I can't stand holidays either. I'll go away for a night or two to attend a specific event I'm interested in like a band or convention, but booking entire weeks at a single place holds no value to me.

Travelling. I have no desire to see the world. I’m very happy exploring England and Wales. I might pop up to Scotland but it’s such a long way away. I don’t like going to different countries, even in Europe and the odd occasion I have had to do it - bil’s wedding, it makes me very anxious.

i don’t really mention it to anyone as they always think I’m weird or prejudice. It’s not prejudice I just don’t want to go. So when people talk about where they have been I pretend to be envious.

The latest tech. I work in tech too & some colleagues can't get their heads around it

A wedding
Holidays abroad
Going out drinking
A big house
Genuinely not interested in any of these.

I like UK holidays, but the stereotypical 'perfect' holiday - Disneyworld, hot sun-drenched beach or whatever - has never appealed to me in the slightest; even before the hassle of having to pack light, airports, travel insurance (if you have several health conditions) and all that.

Most people would laugh at me and refuse to believe I was being remotely serious if I told them, but I see these amazing exotic holiday prizes on TV, but I would genuinely far prefer a week in Norfolk, Lake District, Eryri, Devon, the Highlands or similar. I'd gladly take the cost difference in cash as well, though!

Flash car - I drive a 13 year old Toyota and it fulfils my needs.
The latest tech - always happy to be a few years behind.
Designer handbags, in fact designer anything - I'd much rather spennd my money on experiences than things.
Manicures - I prefer the feel of short, natural nails.

A big fancy wedding, I was never someone who dreamed of being a bride, the idea of being the centre of attention with that much fuss made me feel sick.

Spending loads of money on a fancy car, as long as it goes that’ll do me.