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Things you never wanted that other people struggle to understand

184 replies

Notallwantit · 03/05/2026 11:30

Hi all thought id start a thread on this to see if therer is others out there.
I read on MN about driving, buying homes marraige ect, and we get posters that have a rant at the next about why you dont want theses things.

So what things did you not want or have that outsiders just dont understand.
For me its the following.
I never wanted to own a home, drive a car or even learn to drive, also never wanted to get married either.
And never wanted children.
I have no interest in any of it, however some cant get there heads around it.

OP posts:
SaraOnSaturday · 03/05/2026 22:17

WinterFrogs · 03/05/2026 11:42

I don't like going away on holiday and it's astonishing the number of people who struggle to understand that.

I have a friend with the same viewpoint as you.

I just figure that she's so content with her life she doesn't want or need anything else. I actually think that's a great achievement!

Dublassie · 03/05/2026 22:23

A funeral ! Poople making up nice stuff about me 😂.
Direct cremation for me !!

tsmainsqueeze · 03/05/2026 22:34

bedfrog · 03/05/2026 13:04

Expensive luxury cars - it just makes me think about how much debt you've taken on. I'm ridiculously proud of my 12 year old car I own outright and costs me pennies.
Also having a huge house- we bought a modest house and have a decent income. I love my home and have no desire for a flash mansion that people would be jealous of. It's all just debt again.
Holidays - I only like to go away locally. I don't want to travel abroad
Hot weather - makes me feel ill and I'd rather avoid it. Ties in with not wanting to go abroad on holiday to somewhere hot
Social media - i have no desire to "keep in touch" with people who don't make the effort to contact me or who I don't want to make the effort to contact. I also hate people knowing about my life or what I'm up to. I only tell select people about this
Also drinking (makes me ill), loud music, theme parks, brunch,
Leave me to my granny life 👵

I think you may be me 😁
Add to this - designer bags ,shoes,trainers ,branded clothes, personalised number plates ,eating in upmarket restaurants.
Big wedding , hen night, baby shower , nails ,eyelashes ,fillers .

snurtifier · 03/05/2026 22:42

Holidays, dogs, fancy cars, new stuff in general. Dancing.

But also: a dishwasher. It's more faff to load and unload the bloody thing than it is to just do the dishes. Half of your crockery and cutlery is unavailable at any given time because it's waiting until you have a full enough load to put the dishwasher on. And then when you do it takes six months to complete the cycle.

LittleRobins · 03/05/2026 22:42

A pony. Every little girl must want a pony right? No! No desire to ride a horse or be near one in general.

Also zero interest in driving. Tried it, wasn’t for me. Others can’t understand it at all but it’s never been an issue for me.

ButterYellowHair · 03/05/2026 22:52

AWeeCupOfTeaAndAnIndividualFruitTrifle · 03/05/2026 12:24

I like UK holidays, but the stereotypical 'perfect' holiday - Disneyworld, hot sun-drenched beach or whatever - has never appealed to me in the slightest; even before the hassle of having to pack light, airports, travel insurance (if you have several health conditions) and all that.

Most people would laugh at me and refuse to believe I was being remotely serious if I told them, but I see these amazing exotic holiday prizes on TV, but I would genuinely far prefer a week in Norfolk, Lake District, Eryri, Devon, the Highlands or similar. I'd gladly take the cost difference in cash as well, though!

There wouldn’t be a cost difference tbh. UK holidays are crazy expensive.

dms1 · 03/05/2026 23:23

A Kebab. Have never had one, and never will. Liked the idea of oysters until I saw what they looked like. Will never try them either. People are incredulous (especially after a night out) that I don’t want a kebab. Same with oysters… apparently they’re a delicacy 🤷‍♀️

dms1 · 03/05/2026 23:24

Dublassie · 03/05/2026 22:23

A funeral ! Poople making up nice stuff about me 😂.
Direct cremation for me !!

Same!! I don’t want a funeral either. Wicker basket, hubby & kids and no one else at my cremation.

Fantomfartflinger · 03/05/2026 23:28

Not fussed on wine or alcohol

Wanted a marriage but did not want the fuss or expense of a wedding so registry officed with dinner afterwards with just our parents.

Like a big house, with a big ole long drive and electric gates. Can’t beat the privacy and the walk up to your front door, especially on a summer night with the smell of the garden. I don’t like leaving my house for long periods as I have security anxiety about it that I can’t shake.

I think dogs stink and are a hassle. I don’t understand why our pavements are public toilets for them and people go round picking shit up, whenever I see it my stomach turns.

Like a prestigious brand car but will buy it at 2 year old or more and drive it as long as it lasts, current Mercedes is 8 years old.

Like exotic hols but can understand the horrors of getting there like delays and travel sickness, really hate that.

Like natural coloured long hair and shortish nails with gel colour, mainly because it doesn’t show dirt and lasts weeks, instead of constantly cleaning them and filing. My natural nails always look a bit dirty.

Really wanted dc but they’ve worried me sick. Can’t see point of life without procreation, it’s not something a child free person can really comment on, as it is a feeling - and viceversa I guess.

Friends are ok but I can take them or leave them. They aren’t hard to make if you want new ones, sometimes it is good to have a changeover.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 03/05/2026 23:30

WinterFrogs · 03/05/2026 11:42

I don't like going away on holiday and it's astonishing the number of people who struggle to understand that.

I get that
I find getting ready to go away hugely stressful with all the packing and find it absolutely horrendous but when I’m there I’m ok then it’s all the washing & unpacking!!

quattyP · 03/05/2026 23:30

OP I’m intrigued, what do you like and aspire for?

SemperIdem · 03/05/2026 23:35

CurdinHenry · 03/05/2026 12:06

I have a suspicion that wanting to have children is entirely a pyramid scheme and no one has ever actually genuinely wanted them just the sense of contentment they've been socialised to expect will come from them then doesn't

BUT I accept this could be wrong

Wanting children is animalistic biological imperative - we are just animals at base level.

Being able to choose (without being celibate) is a relatively new concept for humans, and entirely alien to all other species, but one I think is equally normal.

SemperIdem · 03/05/2026 23:37

The idea of being famous has never once appealed to me. Especially during the 00’s height of paparazzi when I was a teenager. It just seemed absolutely awful, “sources” selling stories about you etc.

I’d take being rich any day, but never famous.

AuntMatilda · 04/05/2026 01:06

There's a lot of things I don't want, some of them are genuine, and I am certain of that.

Others, I wonder how much of it is borne of trauma, I mean, the war generation were so grateful when the war was over that they were happy by default.
I had a childhood full of fear and uncertainty, I never wanted anything, I just wanted to survive. So I can say 'I don't want a massive house' and I mean it, but really I think a lot of it is just being glad that I am no longer constantly in a state of fear.

I am on the fence with some things. I find holidays very stressful for example, and have no desire to explore the world BUT, had I not grown up full of fear, had believed in myself and known what I wanted to do (rather than giving it no thought because all I could think of was survival to the next day) I might have been more stereotypically successful, less risk adverse, more able to enjoy life's pleasures? I hope that makes sense.I know I won't be the only one.

mathanxiety · 04/05/2026 04:42

A dog. I do not think a dog would complete my life.
The latest iPhone. I have a reconditioned android.
Top of the line car. Driving is how I get from point A to point B.
Dating again. I'm very happily single after divorcing over ten years ago.

Plasticdreams · 04/05/2026 05:00

Never interested in marriage or having a wealthy partner - despite the opportunity being there more than once. I’m autistic perhaps that’s something to do with it.

Fraughtmum · 04/05/2026 06:24

Parties, celebrations, weddings....any event where you are the focus of attention and dress up.

ThejoyofNC · 04/05/2026 06:37

An education. Been attacked several times on here for that.

toycat · 04/05/2026 07:17

A bigger house, a newer car - love the fact our small 2014 car has a CD player!

Changingplace · 04/05/2026 07:37

ThejoyofNC · 04/05/2026 06:37

An education. Been attacked several times on here for that.

I’d be interested to understand more if your perspective on why?

I don’t struggle to understand anyone not wanting material things, but this is very different.

EmpressaurusKitty · 04/05/2026 09:02

I love solo holidays. Yes, it means I have to organise everything myself but it’s a lot less stressful than spending a week in close proximity with other people.

ConflictofInterest · 04/05/2026 09:54

Travel in a car, drive a car, own a car or have anything at all to do with cars. I don't understand why they are so popular and I hope they'll be gone within my lifetime.

sugarandcyanide · 04/05/2026 13:07

Miranda65 · 03/05/2026 15:54

I agree with so many of you!
I never wanted:
Children
Pets
A bigger house
A TV in my living room
Pierced ears
To go on a "hen do" (so I haven't)
To take a selfie
A fuss on my birthday

But I do absolutely love holidays!

100% agree on the birthday fuss! I hate it. I hate the awkwardness of opening presents in front of people and I would never want a birthday party. I'd hate everyone singing happy birthday to me in a restaurant. I've always been like it even as a child.

I love holidays but not beach only holidays where there's nothing else to do. 7 days on a beach would be so boring to me.

WhatNextImScared · 04/05/2026 13:10

WinterFrogs · 03/05/2026 11:42

I don't like going away on holiday and it's astonishing the number of people who struggle to understand that.

My husband is the same. I genuinely really struggle to understand it but I know that it’s genuine. We are all different.

WhatNextImScared · 04/05/2026 13:11

ThejoyofNC · 04/05/2026 06:37

An education. Been attacked several times on here for that.

You don’t understand wanting one? Or not wanting to have one?

Or that you don’t see the point beyond job skills once you’re in the workplace etc?