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Original poster

Things you never wanted that other people struggle to understand

184 replies

Notallwantit · 03/05/2026 11:30

Hi all thought id start a thread on this to see if therer is others out there.
I read on MN about driving, buying homes marraige ect, and we get posters that have a rant at the next about why you dont want theses things.

So what things did you not want or have that outsiders just dont understand.
For me its the following.
I never wanted to own a home, drive a car or even learn to drive, also never wanted to get married either.
And never wanted children.
I have no interest in any of it, however some cant get there heads around it.

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 03/05/2026 14:46

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 03/05/2026 11:34

I never wanted to be an air hostess (or flight attendant I think they are called now). Apparently all little girls want to grow up to be one.
Nope.

As a kid I hated grown ups asking me what I wanted to be when I grow up.
How to hell do I know Im only six!!
Obviously I didnt say that because my mother would have given me a thick ear 😅

FlyingApple · 03/05/2026 14:48

Being single, being child free, obsessing about how I look, having pets.

ginasevern · 03/05/2026 14:57

@MagpiePi "I’m fine with a stable, long term relationship but I’d want to be with someone because I wanted to be with them, and them with me, not because there’s a bit of paper saying we are a couple."

I totally get anyone not wanting marriage but surely it's basically just what you describe anyway. Someone wanting to be with you, and vice versa. But the piece of paper doesn't come first. Like someone making you sign it before you've even met each other, declaring you a couple and telling you to get on with it.

Bottlebroom · 03/05/2026 15:06

Never dreamed of the big wedding with all the frills and really can't bear the boring same old rinse and repeat weddings over and over again. So I refuse invites as much as possible 😅

Avoid all the hen do and shower this, shower that shite too.

Not interested in the obsession with the picture perfect, clinical house with matching everything.

Hate dull, oversized SUVs which despite taking up too much road and parking spaces, have very little practical space inside them compared to older cars/a good estate.

Ditto new/designer clothes/getting hair and nails done. Nope, nope, nope.

Going away for more than a night or two! I can only sleep in my own bed.

Always had pets. Always wanted children. And have both ❤️

GoBazGo · 03/05/2026 15:10

Great post.
Why did / do so many fall for social media?
It just smacked of the times when people would insist on showing you their holiday photos or, even worse, videos (showing my age).

So yes, mine would be social media, followed by clothing from Primark/Shein.
(No I’m not rich).

Allseeingallknowing · 03/05/2026 15:11

susiedaisy1912 · 03/05/2026 14:43

I’ve never wanted to go to or attend
Parties
pubs
clubs
hen weekends
works get togethers
festivals of any kind
xmas markets.
bbq’s
alcohol

I’ve had to do all of them in the past because of family and friends but I dread them they are so draining and such a faff.

but also I’ve never been interested in
fancy cars
matching furniture and decor
expensive jewellery
holidays where all you do is sit in the sun drinking.
branded products

Seems there are a lot of us about!
Keeping up with the Joneses
Fashion
Constantly redecorating
Massive TVs
Batch cooking

user1497787065 · 03/05/2026 15:47

I don’t want birthday cards or
presents. It is just another day. Not bothered by holidays either.

Miranda65 · 03/05/2026 15:54

I agree with so many of you!
I never wanted:
Children
Pets
A bigger house
A TV in my living room
Pierced ears
To go on a "hen do" (so I haven't)
To take a selfie
A fuss on my birthday

But I do absolutely love holidays!

TiredShadows · 03/05/2026 16:07

I'm another who has never had any drive to travel the world. I work in a place where any leave is met with 'where are you going?', 'going anywhere nice?', and similar - most are nice whatever the answer, but there some who clearly struggle to understand that my leave is not to go abroad. The worst I've had was someone hoping I'd change my booked leave so they could have those dates going 'But you're not even going anywhere?' - it was still my 40th birthday, and I'd booked several months ahead to not spend that at work (largely to avoid discussions on it and to just sit with some books in peace).

Being a migrant who has no desire to visit where I used to live or celebrate the national holidays or to 'show pride and share my heritage'. This has baffled some people.

Hen dos

Diamonds. Or gem and metal jewellery in general. My wedding rings are silicone and so comfortable.

Nourishinghandcream · 03/05/2026 16:12

WinterFrogs · 03/05/2026 11:42

I don't like going away on holiday and it's astonishing the number of people who struggle to understand that.

Same here.👍
My OH & I have never been on holiday in the 35yrs we have been together.
We regularly go away for a couple of nights but anything more.... you can keep it.

Nourishinghandcream · 03/05/2026 16:20

A coffee maker.😖

Was bought one for a present last year (by a family member, not my OH) and it is just sat in its box until we think it safe to give it away.
Cost an absolute bomb and they probably thought they would treat us as we didn't already have one when they visited but they never actually checked if we wanted one.

Instant coffee is fine for us and if we ever fancy a filter, we have a plunge thingy but the whole "coffee" thing has completely passed us by.☕🤔

Netcurtainnelly · 03/05/2026 16:50

DesolatedCheese · 03/05/2026 11:41

Friends.

I'm a shit friend (I forget people by mistake, don't reply to messages, won't go to events o nights out). I know I am and tbh, I don't get much out of friendships either. I was very transactional about them.

Now I don't have any friends by choice and I don't want any. This seems to confuse a lot of people, particularly when they realise I mean it and genuinely don't have any friends at all, just a friendly relationship with colleagues and a passing acquaintance with DP's friends.

I also really actively dislike holidays. I find them really stressful so I have never gone on one as an adult beyond 2 seaside long weekends in 15 years because I felt guilty about the kids never having gone anywhere...

Everyone.needs a friend or two though. Your partner might pass away, you might change your job .
We all need help at some point too.

Threesloths · 03/05/2026 16:51

Goinggonegone · 03/05/2026 13:40

Have a husband or a car. Sleep anywhere that's not my home.

Oh God yeh. I’ve got a friend who is always visiting other people and sleeping on their sofas. Shudder

sickofthissick · 03/05/2026 16:52

Dishwasher, tumble dryer, car that costs 250 plus a month(!)

MermaidsSideEye · 03/05/2026 16:59

Dappy777 · 03/05/2026 12:59

A big group of friends. I cannot imagine anything worse than a huge friends group- constantly going to weddings and christenings etc. Truth is, the majority of friends are really ‘frenemies’ who see you as a rival/competitor. For example, I knew a woman whose daughter got into Oxford. She said to me “I can’t wait to tell my friends.” How deluded can you get?! As if her friends were going to be happy! It just made them feel shit about their own kids.

Most people see you as a rival. They constantly measure themselves against you. Also, many people have some form of ‘main character syndrome’. They either see you as a rival/competitor or, if you’re fairly humble and quiet and unsuccessful, they see you as an audience. Then they talk AT you about themselves and their achievements. Or they talk about their kids. For a lot of people, everything they do is done so they can tell others at a barbecue or dinner party (needless to say to say, the people they tell don’t care, don’t want to hear about it and are waiting for their chance to hit back with what THEY or THEIR kids have achieved). Even when people go travelling they seem to do so in order to keep up with/outdo other people.

This really isn’t true. You sound as though you have a profoundly disordered and jaundiced view of other human beings. Which is obviously your right, but don’t try to pretend it’s some kind of truth universally acknowledged that other people are frenemies who view you as either a rival or audience..

Original poster
Notallwantit · 03/05/2026 17:01

ThePeewit · 03/05/2026 14:38

I do like my big house which is way bigger than necessary for two people but I'm not interested in stuff for the house. Don't care about fashionable decor, ornaments, having things that match, colour schemes, new kitchens. You get the gist.
I like my house clean and completely clutter free. I like empty surfaces except for plants. I've thrown away 1000s of books and much prefer the space.

Im a minimlist i do live in a flat though but ive hated clutter all my life.
I love the empty look in any home, like my kitchin only thing on show is my kettle.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notallwantit · 03/05/2026 17:04

user1497787065 · 03/05/2026 15:47

I don’t want birthday cards or
presents. It is just another day. Not bothered by holidays either.

100% agree i dont do any holidays or birthdays.
An i dont own a tv.

OP posts:
Allseeingallknowing · 03/05/2026 17:11

Notallwantit · 03/05/2026 17:01

Im a minimlist i do live in a flat though but ive hated clutter all my life.
I love the empty look in any home, like my kitchin only thing on show is my kettle.

Show quote history

Don’t know how you do it! Unachievable in our house.

kateandsam · 03/05/2026 17:15

Being the centre of attention. Don’t like to celebrate my birthday & eloped as I wanted to be married but didn’t want the wedding!

Jbh333 · 03/05/2026 17:16

I have no desire to live in the countryside or outside of London in a “peaceful area”. Everybody always taking about moving away but so many uk towns and areas are utterly depressing. Not all btw there’s some I like a lot but not enough to drag me from my London borough.

intrepidpanda · 03/05/2026 17:22

Have never wanted a car so out my budget I get upset if someone scratches or bashes it.
Have never wanted to spend 100s or even 1000s on a hanbag
Never wanted to paint my face or nails to go outside
Never wanted to to couch to 5k (for the last time, running is not the only fitness option)

intrepidpanda · 03/05/2026 17:24

Yeah also, animals living in my house. WTAF. Disgusting.

XenoBitch · 03/05/2026 17:31

Travelling. It has just never appealed to me.

Tiddlywinky · 03/05/2026 17:32

Jewellery
A big house
A fancy car - any old thing that takes me from A to B will do
Expensive haircuts
Pets
A party in my honour, a birthday party, a leaving do, that kind of thing. Not for me.

Coffeeblanketandabookplz · 03/05/2026 17:33

Being fashionable/trendy. Hair extensions and nails etc. getting make up done - none of it ever appealed to me. I do my own hair and tint my own eyebrows. I get Botox but the whole make up with all the fancy products no. Marriage - yes, big wedding where all eyes are on me and I have to organise a beautiful day - no

as a child i never watched Disney movies or wanted to be a Disney princess, I much preferred Addams family, Edward scissors hands, drop dead Fred etc