Things you never wanted that other people struggle to understand

[Notallwantit]

Hi all thought id start a thread on this to see if therer is others out there.
I read on MN about driving, buying homes marraige ect, and we get posters that have a rant at the next about why you dont want theses things.

So what things did you not want or have that outsiders just dont understand.
For me its the following.
I never wanted to own a home, drive a car or even learn to drive, also never wanted to get married either.
And never wanted children.
I have no interest in any of it, however some cant get there heads around it.

I’m exactly the same with having friends. I mean I have a group of friends but we are all ND so long periods of no communication is fine and doesn’t affect us. We meet up every few months and always takes us all a day or two to recover after. It helps that we all understand eachother. I lost my non ND a long time ago.

I agree that, as long as it's decently reliable, I don't really care how old my car is.

In the same way as being a nobody, rather than a celebrity, and being freely able to walk down the street, go into shops, do anything really without anybody hassling you, having an old car that you don't care about getting scratched or scuffed is also a freedom that is denied to those with brand new shiny ones whose value and looks they are desperately counting on preserving.

1. A huge group of friends. I've never been very good at fitting in anywhere, so I now have a few friends who just put up with me as I am!
2. A romantic relationship
3. Marriage
4. The latest tech. I use what I have until something dies, and then I will buy a new one!
5. To stay in the area where I grew up
6. A television. That threw people when I moved out, and family members kept offering them. I'll stick with my piano, thanks!

Holidays might be added to the list, but I'm going on my first official grown-up holiday in a fortnight to see. So far, I'm not keen on the expense or the planning, and I don't like packing to go anywhere!

I don't think you're right, but you raise an interesting point. I think a lot of people become parents without a single clue of what's involved, and without any experience of being around children whatsoever (since they were a kid themselves). I find that quite mind-blowing. Having children is still absolutely sold to us as the 'normal' thing to do, especially for women but for couples in general. I'm childfree but spent many years wrestling with the decision and a big part of my really longed to be a parent. I'm so very glad that I made what turned out to be the right decision for me, but it was bloody difficult to power through

Back to stuff you don't want to do - having a pet. I'm not a huge animal lover, apart from dogs, but even then I absolutely do not want the work involved or to have an animal in my home. I don't understand the appeal of cats AT ALL

No interest in travelling, fancy cars (love that mines is 21 years old)

not a lot of interest in other people either, would happily just have a pack of dogs and a load of books.

I easily understand all this. Even though I have all these things, except for the house. How are you ensuring security in old age in the rental market?

To travel. I find it stressful. I hate hotel rooms, and I loathe the heat. I’ve never really got the obsession with travelling. I can understand why people want to spend time in Switzerland, perhaps, or visit the USA, but I would never want to go to Mexico or Cairo or countless other hot, crowded places.

I’m the complete opposite.

The thought of a UK holiday…just no. Unpredictable, but more than likely grey, rainy and cold weather, familiar shops and building styles, familiar flora and fauna, British culture.

I want heat and sunshine, a different culture, different landscapes and architecture, different cuisines…

Having a pet. I do like animals, in their natural environment but owning a pet just seems like a hassle to me.

I also can't understand people that have always lived in the place they were born and grew up. I've loved moving around and living in different places. I currently live in a small, pretty nondescript town in the South East of England where property prices are really high and I work with lots of people that have been born and raised here, can't afford to get on the property ladder in the local area but wouldn't dream of moving somewhere cheaper....or just moving somewhere new. It's a nice enough place and we're currently here because of DH's work and the kids being settled in school but there are so many lovely areas that I think there'll be at least one more big relocation in our future.

Completely agree. There is so much to see in the British Isles. The thought of somewhere like Disneyland with the hordes of visitors and the heat , just not for me.

Quite agree about fame. I’m very private and would absolutely hate it. I hate being the centre of attention generally.

Nver been interested in drinking and partying. I hate crowds and noise. Hot tubs are my idea of hell and I don’t see the appeal in Prosecco either. It’s quite crap really.

A big group of friends. I cannot imagine anything worse than a huge friends group- constantly going to weddings and christenings etc. Truth is, the majority of friends are really ‘frenemies’ who see you as a rival/competitor. For example, I knew a woman whose daughter got into Oxford. She said to me “I can’t wait to tell my friends.” How deluded can you get?! As if her friends were going to be happy! It just made them feel shit about their own kids.

Most people see you as a rival. They constantly measure themselves against you. Also, many people have some form of ‘main character syndrome’. They either see you as a rival/competitor or, if you’re fairly humble and quiet and unsuccessful, they see you as an audience. Then they talk AT you about themselves and their achievements. Or they talk about their kids. For a lot of people, everything they do is done so they can tell others at a barbecue or dinner party (needless to say to say, the people they tell don’t care, don’t want to hear about it and are waiting for their chance to hit back with what THEY or THEIR kids have achieved). Even when people go travelling they seem to do so in order to keep up with/outdo other people.

Going out for the sake of going out. Mooching round shopping centres. So you get there. Fuck about trying to find a parking space. Have to deal with other people. No thanks. Not for me. I order online and the man brings it for me.
Friends. Tried that for over 50 years. I’ll stick to my close family who I know don’t bad mouth me nor are they in some sort of competition with a hidden agenda. Happy with that

Expensive luxury cars - it just makes me think about how much debt you've taken on. I'm ridiculously proud of my 12 year old car I own outright and costs me pennies.
Also having a huge house- we bought a modest house and have a decent income. I love my home and have no desire for a flash mansion that people would be jealous of. It's all just debt again.
Holidays - I only like to go away locally. I don't want to travel abroad
Hot weather - makes me feel ill and I'd rather avoid it. Ties in with not wanting to go abroad on holiday to somewhere hot
Social media - i have no desire to "keep in touch" with people who don't make the effort to contact me or who I don't want to make the effort to contact. I also hate people knowing about my life or what I'm up to. I only tell select people about this
Also drinking (makes me ill), loud music, theme parks, brunch,
Leave me to my granny life 👵

Cars. I don’t understand the desire to get one for more than just getting from A to B. I love my car as it’s comfortable, reliable and convenient. I intend on having it for a long time, I’ll be happy to run it for as long as remains thst way.

Pets- I just don’t see the point and they smell.

Lots of shoes. Designer handbags. Massive SUV type cars (although I would love a sports car if I could afford to). Long/fancy nails. High heels (instruments of torture).

A dishwasher.
A partner
I'll never own a home and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

A sterile house. IKEA anything. Leopard print anything. Forgot alcohol.

Spot on.
Although I married, for an easy life and money.
(Husband significantly older).
No work, either, and as few people around me as possible. 😁

I agree. I’m autistic and find the build up tiring (clearing the decks at work, all the washing and packing), travelling very stressful (I hate crowds and waiting), then the unpacking and sorting when you get home. I’d rather take a week off and stay at home and relax.

I also can’t understand why anyone would pay £££ for a new car. As soon as you drive it away, it’s worth less than you paid for it. I told my partner that if I won the lottery, I’d buy him any car he wanted, but would keep my old Skoda. He couldn’t get his head round that.

Oh, and decor. Most of the houses I see on rightmove are grey or neutral - magnolia walls, grey carpets, chrome fittings. So ugly. My house (rented) is a riot of colour.

My parents are constantly decorating. Their house is like the Forth Bridge - as soon as they finish one room, they start on another. Even when I owned a house, I never decorated. If I wanted a change, I bought new cushions or a new picture. The idea of clearing out a whole room and living with that disruption makes me feel ill.

A nice car. My partner can't understand that my favourite car I ever owned was a £500 15 year old banger. I could drive happily knowing that it didn't matter if it was bumped, scraped or crashed into.
A big house. I'd rather the security of a small mortgage, even if it means a bit less space and luxury.
A wedding. Give me a registry office and a pub backroom filled with curry and booze.

Seems like plenty of people on here are in agreement though!

Never wanted children, to own a house, to drive or get married. I didn’t think I would even want a partner growing up and if my mum hadn’t passed away I think I would’ve been happy living with her and wouldn’t have bothered with relationships. I only had relationships because I felt lonely. Currently may be forced to buy (probably shared ownership as can’t afford a full normal mortgage deposit) due to the rental market basically collapsing. I would be happy to rent for the rest of my life if it was secure. (I am also on a housing association list 🤞)

Have a husband or a car. Sleep anywhere that's not my home.