Things you never wanted that other people struggle to understand

[Notallwantit]

Hi all thought id start a thread on this to see if therer is others out there.
I read on MN about driving, buying homes marraige ect, and we get posters that have a rant at the next about why you dont want theses things.

So what things did you not want or have that outsiders just dont understand.
For me its the following.
I never wanted to own a home, drive a car or even learn to drive, also never wanted to get married either.
And never wanted children.
I have no interest in any of it, however some cant get there heads around it.

Designer clothes
Designer handbags
Minimalist houses that could be anywhere in the world
Giant TV screens
Cars that show you have more money than sense

I agree. I don’t recognise that comment at all. I have friends who are far far more important and significant to me in my life than some family members. They are like siblings. Of course they are proud of me if I achieve something, and vice versa.
Sounds like that poster has experienced true friendship and that’s sad.

I was going to say a bikini wax but the thread has got a bit too deep.
But definitely giant TV screens. On the wall so you have to crick your neck. Cake smash parties, in fact parties at all until about 3.

A big house in the countryside - Absolute PITA money pit and miles from anything or anywhere useful. Awful. Nice to go to a country hotel once in a while but do not understand this as an aspirational lifestyle at all. Would be torture.

Sex and schlurpy French kissing

I could literally never have set again it would not be a day too soon. Just does not do anything for me.

Be a stay at home parent, the choice was one I had, but I don’t understand people who proactively wish to ans assume they must have shite jobs in the first place.

I’d get it if they were all in there making happy memories, but the reality is often a bored resentful parent sick of doing the laundry and the hoovering, watching Netflix and eating more crap than they should, with no financial independence and bizzarely claiming they are behind their spouses career success as they have none of their own and going to different groups in a desperate attempt to make friends, stop the loneliness and get out the house.

A bit like you, OP, I never wanted to drive a car or even learn to drive (apart from the fact that it would be a good life skill to have just in case; but having one and driving regularly has never appealed).
Never wanted to get married. DP and I did get a civil partnership, with bad grace, for purely financial reasons.
Never wanted children either.

I also don't want or like 'activity' holidays and trips like ziplining, bungee jumping etc. Went to Costa Rica a while ago and people asked if we were doing those things. Crashing through a rainforest on a rope after paying through the nose and waiting in a long queue to do so? Um, no, I'd rather just walk through the landscape and look and listen and appreciate things, thanks.

Living in 'the country'/'escaping London' (people are always asking me when I'm going to have 'had enough' and move away). Usually seems to mean a depressing suburb or village with no amenities, piss-poor public transport, curtain-twitching neighbours and, in villages particularly, narrow roads and no pavements, with massive farm vehicles and people driving SUV twatmobiles like nutters. The 'countryside' is all fenced off with barbed wire and public footpaths and signs to them are obscured by hedges or more barbed wire because farmers deliberately don't keep them clear.

Pod coffee makers. Noisy, wasteful and the coffee is never that good. I like an old-fashioned plunger.

The thing many people want which fills me with horror is to be available 24/7. All my life i have got away with a lot by making myself difficult to contact, Eventually people give up and do it themselves. People say to me "Dont you check your phone?" I tell them yes I check it about once a week or when I can remember. They sign and move on.

In reality I check it a couple of times a day and same with email but Im not going to tell people that. Let them think I am that batty old woman who hates smart phones and never answers the door.

People ask me if I am not curious as to who is knocking/calling? Unless its in answer to something I initiated or is going to make me money I am not interested.

Pretentious food with minuscule portions.

I never wanted a career. I never wanted to earn a lot of money and have the responsibilities attached to that. I wanted to raise my DC, cook, clean, plan holidays, entertain and sleep well at night. I never wanted a DH that expected this of me.

Me too.

Me too. I married a man who was happy to let me do that too. I feel very fortunate.

A dishwasher

The number of people who couldn’t survive without one is off the chart!

Fake nails, botox, hair extensions, fillers. Basically fake anything.

Lots of children. I was ambivalent about having children anyway, then after many years of infertility got pregnant at 41. I love DD to bits but I couldn't imagine wanting and enjoying the chaos and drudgery of 4 or 5 children. DH and I like living a calm, ordered life.

Designer clothes. I like nice clothes and like to look stylish, but they don't need to have a "name" on them. The same with jewellery. I need a watch that reliably tells the time, not a flashy Rolex. I don't even like the look of them.

Trainers. I view them as utilitarian, comfortable footwear, not a fashion item. The number of trainer threads in Style and Beauty just amazes me. So many posters have loads of pairs of trainers in different colours. I just have one pair in navy leather that go with all of my clothes and a pair of black ones that I wear with jeans. Job done.

Designer handbags. Another item that I view as a practical solution for carting stuff around in. I just don't get "joy" from owning a nice handbag.

A dishwasher. Loading and unloading a dishwasher would take just as long as washing up, plus the hassle of buying and storing extra crockery/glassware so that you’re not running a half-empty dishwasher. The whole idea seems pointless to me.

Cross posted with @frozendaisy

My dishwasher says it has a leak so I’ve stopped using it.

I keep meaning to get under there & check for loose connections / get someone out to fix it. But at the moment I’m just not missing it, so I haven’t.

When my 10 year old microwave broke, on the other hand, I ordered a new one the next day.

Buying a house. It has always felt beyond my reach (it is).
Flashy cars - reliable and safe for me!
Marriage - maybe once but I couldn’t imagine it now.

All the things I have wanted I’ve managed to have - children, travel, living in the countryside.

It's also the big house for me. I was keen to own my own home for security, but I'm very happy with my small, 70s-style terraced house with shared front garden/entrance and postage stamp size garden. I've had quite a few nasty things said about how small and cramped it is and how I must aspire to something bigger, and people also make assumptions about my job and salary based on where I live. The truth is that this house has everything I need, my mortgage is very low and almost paid off. I feel slightly panicky when I see large fancy houses and think about how much it would cost to fill it with stuff (furnishings for hallways and/or empty rooms???), the extra time needed to clean it all, the cost of heating with high ceilings... No thanks. I also can't think of anything worse than an ensuite- I like to keep my sleeping/resting place separate to bodily waste disposal.

Unlike others on this thread I LOVE travelling and going out for dinner, so I'm happy to keep my house costs as low as they can be, and ensure I maximise disposable income for those things.

I've also never had, and never wanted, a manicure. Hands are more useful than decorative IMO. I'm also another who never had the pull to have children, although I understand why most people do.

I think it depends how many of you there are. My mum would probably say the same as it’s just herself. But for the 4 of us it runs everyday, you put it in and it comes out clean and dry, whereas to get to that state washing up you need a conveyor belt of washers and dryers, and putting it away immediately, you can’t leave it to drain as there isn’t enough room and it looks messy.

It also comes out much cleaner from a dishwasher .

Indeed; making it a much better teenage chore than washing up! Dishwasher is firmly the teen job in this house.

Driving. I purposely live somewhere where I don't need to.
I'd like to own my own house for security, bit also like that in renting, big issues aren't my responsibility.
Holidays - I prefer to use my time off to read and relax and catch up with little stuff in the house.
A garden - I hate gardening, even the basics. I don't have one currently.
Going clothes shopping. Noise, crowds, so much shite to look through. All hail online shopping.
Trying to look younger. I'm good with my age and a few wrinkles are better than the alternative!
Beauty treatments - nah. Nail varnish makes my nails feel heavy and wrong.
Parties and pubs - too many drunk people. I don't mind a quiz though, if it's a bit earlier and not too busy.

A cup of tea!

A flashy car
"Big" holidays. I love travel but prefer short breaks if going abroad, and really enjoy travelling around Scotland.
Large friendship groups.
Boozy nights out/in
Diamond jewellery

(That all makes me sound competitively frugal and I'm actually not, I'm just spendy in other ways!)