I never thought this could happen to me

[BurntSausage]

I have developed a taste for Smith’s Scampi Fries. The pub snack of yesteryear. Haven’t had them for about twenty years until this week, now I’ve had three packets in two days.

Just opened a packet and they looked more ‘dusty’ than usual, lots of the flavour dust all over the inside of the packet. A nice bonus.

Then I take one from the packet and lift it to my lips…only it’s not a rectangular fake scampi and lemon flavoured snack. It was a nugget of purest flavouring! Whole block of scampi and lemon dust! I wasn’t sure whether to eat it or auction it on eBay but curiosity got the better of me and I ate it. I’m not sure my mouth will ever recover, having been stripped of all tastebuds.

You read about such things but never expect them to happen in real life. Next I will get a solid chocolate kitkat.

I have also had a solid chocolate KitKat, and one with the biscuity bit at the wrong angle. But not for a while. Now I'm heading out to buy some KitKats and maybe some Scampi Fries to see what I can find.

I once had some Branigans beef and mustard crisps that seemed to have no beef flavour and double the mustard. I kind of liked the pain but wasn't completely sure about the lack of beef flavour and went back to the shop a day later and got another bag which was similarly affected. I still didn't know if I liked them or whether I was just a compulsive nostril pain masochist but someone had obviously told the shop it was a duff batch because the third time I went they'd opened a new box and it was back to beef and one shot of mustard and seemed...bland. I don't think I bought them after that.

I've also had a solid kit kat.

Brannigans! The country went downhill once they stopped being made (they aren't still available are they?). Ditto Tudor crisps, especially the spring onion.

On the TV show Small Prophet, the main character pours a bowl of shreddies which is just two solid A4 sheets of them joined together.

Fun fact...
Kit Kats contain reject Kit Kats:
During production, imperfect Kit Kats that don't meet quality standards are crushed to create a paste, which is then used as filling for new Kit Kat wafers. This recycling process creates a unique scenario where each Kit Kat potentially contains layers of previous Kit Kats, as some of the newly produced bars may also be rejected and recycled.

I once had a solid Club. It must have been when I was at primary school back in the early 80s. Good times.

Also, while on the subject of nostalgic snacks (which I know isn't exactly what the thread is about but never mind), when I was at primary school, I distinctly remember crisps that were shaped like small hollow pigs. Is this real or did I dream it and now think it's real?

Aaah Scampi Fries; straight out of the 80s. I’ve just added some to my shopping list.

I've found my people!
When I was at school, I was in charge of the tuck ship for a while (my dream role) which essentially entailed selling crisps at breaktime. The crisps in question were these weird little hollow 3D pig shapes that were incredibly densely covered in flavour (I've never seen anything like it since). Sometimes they one of the pigs would be totally filled with flavour dust. It was heaven, and I think I've chased that feeling ever since.
However, I've now developed a taste for posh crisps and can't really stomach things like Monster Munch any more. Tyrells and Pipers are my favourite.

My computer thanks you for the coffee I just spat at its screen. Too funny 😁

OMG, just realised that the person who posted just before me had mentioned those hollow pig crisps! Happy days!

They changed the recipe of the nikniks and they're shite now. You can get them all the time in my corner shop in a big bag but they're rank now. Not fishy enough. 🤔

THEY EXISTED! I genuinely wasn't sure!

Once my daughter got a kinder surprise and it was a double layerer!
Life truly peaked at that moment

This thread has genuinely brightened up my day, imagining standing in assembly proud of a Jam Tart Stamp or laughing to yourself cooking dinner at the Bright Red Bum tomato!

My daughter once had a creme egg that was just solid chocolate, no creme. She was extremely put out!

Oh those scampi and lemon Niknaks were a favourite in my teenage years. Now I have "graduated" to the Smiths scampi fries.

A single solid choc and honeycomb United during childhood is a lasting memory.
Only had a single solid choc KitKat finger previously.

My cousin had a solid chocolate Kit Kat once. The day she told us about it, when we got home my mum opened a Kit Kat and it was all wafer.

Sadly not 😪
I loved Roast beef and mustard Brannigans.
On the subject of crisps I must give a shout out to Greggs ,cheese and onion flavour very flavoursome.

Had a solid kitkat.. but my fav was from the bakery. A jam donut without the jam. It was amazing, so much nicer and I didn't realise how much the jam ruined them, ha. One of those old school donuts with granulated sugar, not icing sugar nasties with a weird fluffy texture dough.

I remember getting one of those solid flavour nuggets in a packet of worcestershire sauce crisps in the 90s. Truly one of the best days of my life. Unfortunately I was having a picnic with a school friend whose crunchy-type parents were already aghast at the crisps, fizzy drink etc my mum had packed for me, and yet still I didn't stop to think that this wouldn't be the target audience. The dad pretty much told me how disgusting he found both my prize nugget AND me for getting excited about it. Then followed a lecture about salt for the next hour and a half... Where were you people back then?

More excitingly though, I can say that this thread has genuinely changed my life. I used to love scampi fries (clearly hippy school dad's salt lecture didn't help) but then developed a fish allergy and was under the impression I couldn't eat them. I mean, they are so fishy - that has to be a natural flavouring, right? Anyway, due to this thread, I've just looked them up and discovered there is nothing natural at all in a scampi fry! No fish, no shellfish! Rejoice!

It has been around 25 years but I'm tempted to nip to the corner shop at lunchtime to buy a packet and see if they are as I remember. I've been denying myself for no good reason, for so long.

(to bring this back to typical MN and for the avoidance of doubt, I'm generally healthy these days and realise that the crunchy family were ahead of their time - I pretty much live now, as they did then and look back with a sense of admiration).

I once had a tub of half baked Ben & Jerry's with NO cookie dough or brownie. I was devastated.

Never thought of that🤣🤣

I really miss the old fashioned deep fried donuts. Come to think of it, I really miss school dinners pre 1989 ish before it was all privatised/contracted out.

This thread wins 2026. Don’t you all think it’s sad our children are not having these childhood memories? For me, one of the best memories is finding a friend who would swap their salt ‘n’ shake crisps for my apple at school. I loved that salty taste. Nowadays, children have an apple or a nothing.

My pregnancy craving was jelly babies . So much so that on maternity leave I was presented with a huge box of individual packets . Joy . One packet though seemed to have them all clumped together like they were holding hands . Sweet . I think I cried . Pregnancy hormones .