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DH angry with me following work trip

322 replies

FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 19:35

Been with my husband 19 years. We ‘were’ in a good place. He’s been away working this week. He got home this evening and I was round my neighbours (who he gets on with and we have a great community). I came out as soon as I saw him pulling up with our friend and came in to be with him. Chatted to our friend and offered him dinner which he declined as he said he needed to go. I said to my DH I’ve left my phone at neighbours so I’ll go grab it. No problem. Neighbour reminds me that I’m asking DH to go and see the band we saw last Saturday tonight (we all went and had a fab night) so call DH and ask him. He says he doesn’t want to go so I say fair enough, can you drop us around the corner as I’d quite like to go. We have tomorrow together (he’s working tomorrow evening) and we have Sunday and next week together. The connection drops so I try to call him back. He doesn’t answer. I’ve come home and he’s laid into me that he just wants to spend the time with me but I’d rather eff off with my neighbour (joint friend), threw his glass so it smashed in the kitchen, shouted at me some more that he’s been away working all week and I should just want to be with him and stormed upstairs telling me to eff off out.

OP posts:
Dalmationday · 27/03/2026 19:36

That sounds scary with the glass smashing. Has that happened before?

FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 19:38

Yes

OP posts:
FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 19:39

It’s domestic abuse isn’t it

OP posts:

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ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:39

His behaviour is totally out of order. Him being annoyed would be understandable if he didn’t react in an aggressive way though.

tooloololoo · 27/03/2026 19:40

So abusive
has this happened before?

WinterSunglasses · 27/03/2026 19:40

Keep yourself safe OP. He's out of line

FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 19:40

He was so aggressive. I didn’t react. Only said I’d asked if he wanted to come

OP posts:
VeneziaJ · 27/03/2026 19:41

Glass smashing is a huge red flag sorry

TomatoSandwiches · 27/03/2026 19:42

Go out and then tomorrow start getting your ducks in a row quietly.

TheChicDreamer · 27/03/2026 19:42

Yeah I get why he was pissed off op, but his reaction was well out of order.

begonefoulclutter · 27/03/2026 19:48

TheChicDreamer · 27/03/2026 19:42

Yeah I get why he was pissed off op, but his reaction was well out of order.

What do you mean, you get why he was pissed off? In what way, exactly?

BoredZelda · 27/03/2026 19:48

TheChicDreamer · 27/03/2026 19:42

Yeah I get why he was pissed off op, but his reaction was well out of order.

You do? He brings a friend home from a work trip, then gets pissy about his adult aged wife spending some time without him? She isn’t talking about hiking the Himalayas, just a night out with a friend and he objects to that. Even without the violence, that’s abusive.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:49

begonefoulclutter · 27/03/2026 19:48

What do you mean, you get why he was pissed off? In what way, exactly?

By OPs behaviour prioritising the neighbour and not being arsed with him?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:49

BoredZelda · 27/03/2026 19:48

You do? He brings a friend home from a work trip, then gets pissy about his adult aged wife spending some time without him? She isn’t talking about hiking the Himalayas, just a night out with a friend and he objects to that. Even without the violence, that’s abusive.

That isn’t what happened?

begonefoulclutter · 27/03/2026 19:52

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:49

By OPs behaviour prioritising the neighbour and not being arsed with him?

Why should she prioritise him? She's been asked to go to an event with friends. What's she supposed to do - ask him whether she's allowed to go?

Besides, it appears that he's an abusive bastard, so why would she want to spend time with him anyway?

MaggiesShadow · 27/03/2026 19:52

I'd understand him being upset or hurt. Maybe even pissed off. But that level of aggression is never okay, under any circumstances.

Is it a bit telling that you don't want to spend time with him after he's been away all week, @FlamingoFloss ? I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong but is that a sign of something?!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:54

begonefoulclutter · 27/03/2026 19:52

Why should she prioritise him? She's been asked to go to an event with friends. What's she supposed to do - ask him whether she's allowed to go?

Besides, it appears that he's an abusive bastard, so why would she want to spend time with him anyway?

It’s normal to want to see your partner when they’ve been working away. She was at the male neighbours house when he got home, briefly came back into the house for a chat with her partner, then went back to neighbours and phoned him to see if he wanted to come with them, and then asked for a lift for her night out with the neighbour, not a thought for catching up with her partner. Most people would be a bit annoyed. Him being abusive about it is totally out of order. Clearly a relationship that is dead in the water

ThirdStorm · 27/03/2026 19:56

Did something catastrophic happen on his work trip? That’s the only thing that might excuse what just happened, if it were me. I hope you are okay.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:57

ThirdStorm · 27/03/2026 19:56

Did something catastrophic happen on his work trip? That’s the only thing that might excuse what just happened, if it were me. I hope you are okay.

It still wouldn’t excuse his behaviour towards his partner. Nothing would.

begonefoulclutter · 27/03/2026 20:01

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:54

It’s normal to want to see your partner when they’ve been working away. She was at the male neighbours house when he got home, briefly came back into the house for a chat with her partner, then went back to neighbours and phoned him to see if he wanted to come with them, and then asked for a lift for her night out with the neighbour, not a thought for catching up with her partner. Most people would be a bit annoyed. Him being abusive about it is totally out of order. Clearly a relationship that is dead in the water

She only went back to the neighbour's because she'd accidentally left her phone there.

FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 20:02

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 19:54

It’s normal to want to see your partner when they’ve been working away. She was at the male neighbours house when he got home, briefly came back into the house for a chat with her partner, then went back to neighbours and phoned him to see if he wanted to come with them, and then asked for a lift for her night out with the neighbour, not a thought for catching up with her partner. Most people would be a bit annoyed. Him being abusive about it is totally out of order. Clearly a relationship that is dead in the water

I was not at a male neighbours. Not sure where you got that from

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 20:03

begonefoulclutter · 27/03/2026 20:01

She only went back to the neighbour's because she'd accidentally left her phone there.

And then stayed there…. Phoned her partner and asked for a lift to a night out with the neighbour.

FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 20:03

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 20:03

And then stayed there…. Phoned her partner and asked for a lift to a night out with the neighbour.

And asked if he would come as we had such a great time seeing the same band last weekend

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 20:05

FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 20:02

I was not at a male neighbours. Not sure where you got that from

Female neighbours then. Still someone you’d rather be with more than your partner when they’ve been away

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/03/2026 20:05

FlamingoFloss · 27/03/2026 20:03

And asked if he would come as we had such a great time seeing the same band last weekend

yes…

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