How can you afford that?

[AQuestionAlways]

What’s the appropriate answer to the above?

I quite often find people ask me “how can you afford that” especially if we’ve gone on what seems like a fancier holiday.

We’re not rich but we’re not poor either. Other than saying…. With money. I’m not sure what the appropriate answer is without it seeming like I’m bragging or seeming like I’m coming across that I think we work harder than they do.

If the person asking has kids I usually say because we don’t have kids because that’s probably the truth. We’re a dual income household who are mid to high earners. We don’t save particularly hard but we have a fair bit of money left to do what we want.

But lots of our friends don’t have kids and I try to laugh it off but when they push, because we work hard, because we’re sensible with money, because we have good jobs etc seem passive aggressive. So what actually is the correct response to that question?

Or maybe you just earn more then them?
I mean obviously what you can afford to save is going to vary massively depending on your earnings
Somone on NMW is never going to save as much as somone on £100,000 no matter how much they prioritise.

How do you NOT manage to afford it, might be an appropriate response. Eye roll, tinkly laugh, suggestion at a hint of their financial incompetence.

"My financial affairs are none of your business." Rude questions deserve direct responses.

People have no manners nowadays - that's me, but you could throw that line in too whilst rolling your eyes.

I have reached the IDGAF stage, I suggest you get there ASAP. It makes dealing with fuckwits and their idiotic/nosey/pointless questions a whole lot easier.

They ask (rudely) because they want to hear from you that’s it not their fault they don’t have your lifestyle. So lottery win, massive inheritance from distant relative, compensation from work paper cut etc.

I like to say that I work hard and enjoy the fruits of it. To annoy them.

Dh has a new car that he’s saved very hard for. His own boss asked him how he’s afforded it! . So rude!. Dh told him it’s an early Father’s Day gift from his adult children. Which dh recons it actually is because he could afford to save for it now that they’ve all left home lol

I just say “Because we have lots of money”.

Because I don't have kids.

Because I don't have an expensive rental car.

Because I've got a good mortgage rate.

Because I don't eat expensive takeaways all the time.

Because I save specifically so I can have a decent holiday.

If they keep pushing then offer to look at their outgoings to help them cut back.

When it comes to rude, jealous types, you have to fight fire with fire.

'Because I'm cleverer than you', should do it.

Or 'We are f-in minted'
fight fire with fire there.

This:

I just say 'because we save for it. We don't have debt and don't waste money on alcohol or eating out'.

Shuts most mouths as they've all got car loans & eat out/ takeaway a lot.

I used to know somebody like this. It was even worse than "How can you afford that?", as he made it even more patronising and judgmental - his standard phrase was "Can you afford to be living like this?"

It's so draining and it must come from jealousy. You going without something wouldn't make any difference to them whatsoever, but they just don't like to think of anybody else having nice things that they can't.

Obviously a big element is how much money you have in the first place and what unavoidable outgoings you have to pay for; but there's frequently an element of different budgeting choices. Somebody might say "I don't know how you have £200 to spend on that [nice one-off treat] - the most I can afford is a takeaway coffee each week that only costs £4"... without any irony.

Perhaps not NMW vs £100k+ but a lot of the time it really is down to some people making their money go a lot further than others.

Look at the difference in cost between packed lunches and daily bought food and coffee.

I new iPhone contract every 2 years vs a SIM only mid range Android changed half as often.

Shopping around and using discount codes vs just buying things.

Lease car changed every 3 years vs buying a 2 or 3 year old car and keeping it for a few years.

Etc etc etc. People can start with the same amount of money and lead broadly similar lifestyles but one can be in debt and always feel like they're struggling and the other can have savings and feel comfortable and it's all down to how they manage their money not how much they have.

I go on lots of city breaks. I afford it by staying in cheap AirBnBs, flying Ryan Air, eating where locals do, not drinking, never doing AI.... etc etc.
No one wants to hear that though.

My answer to this (assuming I like the person asking) is always. Oh I’m a smart shopper , I earn loads of points and use them for holidays. It’s not exactly true (I get some points) but it dodges the question nicely

I have no idea what world a lot of these MN’ers live in whereby they are consistently getting questioned and side-eyed about their spending habits. It’s so bizarre.

"With money we've earned. How else?"

Such a riduculous question though!

I don't think I'm ever asked this question! How interesting. This just isn't a conversation I recognise at all.

Ha!

I think a lot of people are hoping you will tell them about a website you know where you can get a 90% discount on whatever it is.

I always turn things like this back into a question. ‘ I’m not sure how to answer - how do you pay for your holiday? ‘

I'm going on 6 holidays this year. If anyone asked me how I afford it, I'd tell them to mind their own bloody business

We go on holiday a lot and I’m asked this by friends and colleagues.

I spend a lot of time working out the cheapest travel and accommodation that would work for us. Do the same and you could afford to go away more than your two week package holiday!

I haven’t been asked this-I don’t have rude friends, luckily.

I’d probably say something like, ‘oh, it’s because we gave up buying avocados-now we’re rolling in it!’

I agree! I obviously live in a parallel universe.