How can you afford that?

[AQuestionAlways]

What’s the appropriate answer to the above?

I quite often find people ask me “how can you afford that” especially if we’ve gone on what seems like a fancier holiday.

We’re not rich but we’re not poor either. Other than saying…. With money. I’m not sure what the appropriate answer is without it seeming like I’m bragging or seeming like I’m coming across that I think we work harder than they do.

If the person asking has kids I usually say because we don’t have kids because that’s probably the truth. We’re a dual income household who are mid to high earners. We don’t save particularly hard but we have a fair bit of money left to do what we want.

But lots of our friends don’t have kids and I try to laugh it off but when they push, because we work hard, because we’re sensible with money, because we have good jobs etc seem passive aggressive. So what actually is the correct response to that question?

Maybe the best answer is “once we’ve covered our essential bills each month, we save part of whatever is left over, precisely so we CAN afford it.”

So rude. What is WRONG with people?!

I have never been asked this question,

MIL used to say it to us when we were younger in a very accusatory tone.

Genuinely surprised that this is a question people get asked frequently. I'm a SAHM and DH is well paid, we take our kids on long haul holidays a couple of times a year, take them to West end theatre shows, they have expensive hobbies etc. I've literally never had anyone ask me how we afford it.

Maybe you don’t go on the same types of holidays as regularly as OP? Or maybe you surround yourself with people who do so don’t feel the need to ask?

Out of curiosity what types of holidays do you go on OP?

We just got back from a safari tour which has prompted the most recent questions.

We usually go long haul like the Bahamas, Hawaii or the Maldives. Sometimes a skiing type holiday. We dappled with a cruise just before Christmas but it wasn’t for us.

We do this multiple times a year and I know we’re incredibly fortunate to be able to afford to do that but people act like the answer to the question is because we’re slinging something dodgy on the side and it’s rude to say anything else.

I go on a ridiculous amount of holidays and have done for years so I guess it’s pretty easy to work out I’m rich.
I do find it an odd and incredibly rude question.

We are not rich we just don’t really have much else to spend our money on.

We are both late 20’s and have only really gotten comfortable with the amount we earn in the last few years and the amount we go on holiday has coincided with that so I guess it’s that as well.

I do think it’s a rude question that most don’t seem to think is rude. But then get immediately defensive at most responses I can give!

I’m not sure how I’d answer tbh.

A lot does come down to priorities, some want the more expensive house, some want to retire early, some save more, have more dc, etc

I usually say that I make a good living selling myself on the local bridge, but being appropriate has never been too much of a consideration 😀

I hadn’t expected the OP to be so young. I guess people aren’t so much asking simply how can you afford it, but how can you afford it AND pay a young person’s mortgage/save a decent deposit and into a pension and perhaps a cushion for if you want kids (even if you don’t plan on having them they won’t necessarily know that).

I don't really understand this post, because as an English person this is a question I have literally never been asked- you occasionally get a comment "another holiday" I just smile and shrug. I can't imagine who your friends and colleagues are that feel it's appropriate asking questions like this.

Otherwise, people think you’re boasting or criticise them…forgetting it was them that insisted you give them the info!

That reminds me of the scene in Father Ted, where Father Noel is earnestly urging Father Dougal to guess how old he is... then when the clueless Dougal guesses way above, Noel gets quite miffed