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Original poster

Would you be annoyed if your partner didn’t help when you felt unwell?

110 replies

inkyspells · 08/03/2026 16:51

So I normally do everything,cooking ,cleaning etc
Since yesterday I’ve had a stinking cold.
Today I woke up and normally I will Make the cups of tea in bed and bring it up to him on Sundays and I feed the cats.
This morning I asked him would he do it this once as I felt terrible.
He moaned and moaned then after a hour got up,he said he wasn’t coming back to bed ,he would Make me a cup of tea but it would be downstairs and we should get up.
Any other weekend he will lie in bed till 11.
Anyway I got up,put the washing on and made us sausage sandwiches then I hoovered (all the while having to blow my nose every 5 seconds and sneezing.
I said “can you please Make tea tonight ,it’s literally chicken in a seasoning bag with mash “
He said no he wasn’t making it,don’t be ridiculous,you only have a cold and I bet you are still going out to the shop tomorrow (i need to go to supermarket)
Anyway I got up and made tea ,whilst he’s on the sofa watching television.
Im literally cutting the chicken and my nose streaming down my face and coughing my guts up.

i was annoyed.

Would you be the same ?

OP posts:
SkipAd · 08/03/2026 16:53

No, but then I love being treated like shit.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 08/03/2026 16:53

Is he expecting to be fed this evening? Absolutely hope you don’t live with him! Throw this one back!

ShetlandishMum · 08/03/2026 16:54

I would be mad doing most of the chores sick or not. No thank you.

Brightbluesomething · 08/03/2026 16:55

No I wouldn’t be annoyed. I’d be gone.
Is there any particular reason you enjoy being a servant to a useless man child?

IrishSelkie · 08/03/2026 16:56

I wouldn’t have done it.
You asked and he unreasonably is being a dick.
Fine, he can go hungry or fend for himself.

I would also not do the shopping.

tooloololoo · 08/03/2026 16:57

What’s the point of being with him?

Nowpause · 08/03/2026 16:58

This won’t have come out of the blue. There will be a depressing litany of reasons why you and probably he are unhappy and not working.

Thepossibility · 08/03/2026 16:58

I'd feel very sad to be with someone who clearly doesn't give two shits about me, annoyed is far too flippant for this situation.

TalulahJP · 08/03/2026 16:59

i think you are being treated like shite by a man who does not appear to love, or even care a little for you. he doesn’t give a fuck.

of course you should be looked after.

did his mum look after him well as a child so he knows what should be done by loving family for sick people? thats the only excuse he may have ie being brought up by hateful parents and he doesn’t know any better. however if it’s not that…..

id suggest you do not go anywhere near shops or do anything for him at all. so he can see how much you do. if he does not see or does not help i would be reassessing if i wanted to be with him.

id use this as a starting point of a new you. no more breakfast in bed for him. if he complains remind him he started it. stay strong.

is he one of these types with the Big Important Job and youre a stay at home mum “living off his generosity” and using your own money to pay for all your stuff snd the kids stuff while he saves his money by any chance?

Trusttheawesomeness · 08/03/2026 17:00

What on earth are you doing? Why are you with him?

This isn’t life. This isn’t how relationships are.

What’s his reasoning for you doing all the work? And he’ll accept a tea in bed from
you but won’t do it for you? Oh, OP… this is the wrong man. Really. Being single is better than this. Why are you staying with him and wasting your life on a man who hates you… don’t kid yourself, this man does not like you. You’re a maid and a shag, that’s all.

Get out. Honestly, pack and leave. Just go.

rubyslippers · 08/03/2026 17:00

I’m glad you’ve sneezed in all his food
id be leaving his sorry arse
i bet this isn’t the only way he’s inconsiderate to you

Nowpause · 08/03/2026 17:00

I got up,put the washing on and made us sausage sandwiches then I hoovered (all the while having to blow my nose every 5 seconds and sneezing.
I said “can you please Make tea tonight ,it’s literally chicken in a seasoning bag with mash “
He said no he wasn’t making it,don’t be ridiculous,you only have a cold and I bet you are still going out to the shop tomorrow (i need to go to supermarket)
Anyway I got up and made tea ,whilst he’s on the sofa watching television.
Im literally cutting the chicken and my nose streaming down my face and coughing my guts up.

You come across as a rather pathetic martyr.
Snivelling in the kitchen chopping chicken like some kind of snotty Cinderella

WallaceinAnderland · 08/03/2026 17:01

So I normally do everything,cooking ,cleaning etc

Why?

moofolk · 08/03/2026 17:01

LTB

mustreadmorebooks · 08/03/2026 17:03

Why did you get up, make breakfast, do the cleaning and make the tea? He should have looked after you but even in the absence of that you didn’t need to do those jobs that also benefited him. I suspect this isn’t the only time he treats you badly.

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 17:06

Sorry you're feeling ill. I agree though that you're playing Snotty Cinderella per @Nowpause . Why?

I got up, why? Max, should have made ONE tea and taken it back to bed

put the washing on just yours I hope?
and made us why "us"? sausage sandwiches then I hoovered why? (all the while having to blow my nose every 5 seconds and sneezing.
I said “can you please Make tea tonight ,it’s literally chicken in a seasoning bag with mash “
He said no he wasn’t making it,don’t be ridiculous,you only have a cold and I bet you are still going out to the shop tomorrow (i need to go to supermarket)
Anyway I got up and made tea why? ,whilst he’s on the sofa watching television.
Im literally cutting the chicken and my nose streaming down my face and coughing my guts up. Why are you looking after him?

Presumably when he gets ill from the snot-chicken you'll continue to wait on him hand and foot?
He's obviously a bit of a prick so it's no great surprise he doesn't bother doing what you ask, he can refuse and then you'll wait on him anyway. Why would he help?

StormyLandCloud · 08/03/2026 17:06

Fucking hell, he’d be history

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 17:07

Meant to add

So I normally do everything,cooking ,cleaning etc WHY? DOES HE HAVE ARMS AND LEGS?

WallaceinAnderland · 08/03/2026 17:08

Got a feeling this thread is going to be a plopper.

Trusttheawesomeness · 08/03/2026 17:09

@inkyspells
Did you have a very unhappy, unloved childhood? Do you have no family or friends? Because it seems like you’re desperate for someone if you’re accepting this as your relationship. And maybe you don’t know any. Better and don’t know what a loving partnership looks like. I feel so sad for you that you’re living like this.

To be clear, this isn’t a living partnership. This man does not like you - doesn’t matter what he says or how he acts when he is being nice in public or anything else. His actions now are showing you that he doesn’t even like you and that he is fundamentally selfish and downright cruel. This is not the man you spend your life with. Whatever hole you are trying to fill will never be filled by this man.

You need to leave. Whatever that means, however you do it - moving in with family, renting a room in a flatshare, kicking him out if it’s your house and he isn’t on the tenancy, however you do it, just do it.

SesameLeafChomper · 08/03/2026 17:12

You are the broken appliance. You have stopped performing your regular duties which is why he is treating you like this.

This should show you that he doesn't care for you never mind love you. You deserve better than this. He knows now that even when you are unwell you would still happily be treated like shit, be his servant, make his dinner, all whilst feeling terrible. And he knows this, he is sitting there on the sofa all the while knowing you are truly unwell and he is fine with that. You shouldn't be annoyed you should be raging angry.

This is not a relationship worth having and don't come back with a list of why he is good. An amazing cup of tea is still terrible if someone put a spoon of poo in it.

You need to ask him why he doesn't care about you feeling unwell. To give you an example of what a partner should do, they should have made you a cup of tea, made sure you had whatever you need, tissues, meds, glass of water. Dh would have gone shopping to get all the food needed and made sure to buy stuff to make me feel better. He would also cook and clean. But then he has always done that which I why I married him. We share the load.

You are worth more than this, you should seriously be considering leaving this relationship.

1apenny2apenny · 08/03/2026 17:14

I hope you don’t have children with this prince. Get some self respect and put him in the bin. Hope you feel better.

Original poster
inkyspells · 08/03/2026 17:16

I asked him for a lemsip and he rolled his eyes
He said “you have a cold,that’s it,a cold”
”I crack on and go to work,I have to do it”

Bare in mind I make him lemsip
Last Night he had a headache I got him painkillers etc
Hes just selfish

OP posts:
Nowpause · 08/03/2026 17:18

inkyspells · 08/03/2026 17:16

I asked him for a lemsip and he rolled his eyes
He said “you have a cold,that’s it,a cold”
”I crack on and go to work,I have to do it”

Bare in mind I make him lemsip
Last Night he had a headache I got him painkillers etc
Hes just selfish

And you get more… pathetic

Come on FgS. Make your own lemsip, and stop weakly cutting the chicken for his tea as you wipe away the single tear rolling down your face

annonymousse · 08/03/2026 17:19

Being harsh here he's selfish and you're a doormat