Would you be annoyed if your partner didn’t help when you felt unwell?

[inkyspells]

So I normally do everything,cooking ,cleaning etc
Since yesterday I’ve had a stinking cold.
Today I woke up and normally I will Make the cups of tea in bed and bring it up to him on Sundays and I feed the cats.
This morning I asked him would he do it this once as I felt terrible.
He moaned and moaned then after a hour got up,he said he wasn’t coming back to bed ,he would Make me a cup of tea but it would be downstairs and we should get up.
Any other weekend he will lie in bed till 11.
Anyway I got up,put the washing on and made us sausage sandwiches then I hoovered (all the while having to blow my nose every 5 seconds and sneezing.
I said “can you please Make tea tonight ,it’s literally chicken in a seasoning bag with mash “
He said no he wasn’t making it,don’t be ridiculous,you only have a cold and I bet you are still going out to the shop tomorrow (i need to go to supermarket)
Anyway I got up and made tea ,whilst he’s on the sofa watching television.
Im literally cutting the chicken and my nose streaming down my face and coughing my guts up.

i was annoyed.

Would you be the same ?

It would be a deal breaker for me. Showing basic care when someone you supposedly love is ill should never be thought of as asking a lot.

Run, he's a selfish asshole.
Doesn't love or respect you
Sounds like you don't have kids with him. Keep it that way

You posted about this utterly useless fucker a few days ago and his gambling habit - gambling £800 in one day.
Why can you not leave him? He does not care about you at all.

I wouldn’t stay in a relationship with someone so lazy and uncaring.

Yesterday I woke up with the worst head cold and sore throat and spent all day and night in bed sleeping and watching tv. Dh got up sorted the kids out and 13 dogs, went food shopping and brought me back medicine and my favourite snacks. Left me to bed rot all day so I could rest. I’m not ill often but when I am dh is more than capable of taking the reins and getting on with it and also taking care of me and being sympathetic and the same goes for when he is ill, I will take over and make sure he rests and has what he needs. That’s called teamwork op, and what you have is a selfish dickhead manchild.

I’d be annoyed if my partner didn’t help when I was well, let alone unwell.

I’d be more than annoyed, I’d be furious. I don’t treat my spouse like shit and neither do I expect to be treated like shit. You’re not his personal slave. I would be rethinking my entire relationship.

I’ve just had surgery and my DH has not only worked from home but done all housework, all pet and child related chores, washed me, dressed me, fed me, done the food shopping/cooking, laundry, everything. As it should be when one of you is in need.

edited because somehow I quoted the wrong post to say something to @inkyspells arrgh

I wouldn’t have done his laundry and I would have just cooked dinner for yourself, not him. What does he actually bring to the table?

Money surely it’s all that’s left

13 dogs?

Um not sure what to say other than… wtf?!

@babylamb4 hang on… I was on the patio cleaning thread last week and you repeatedly said you had 5 dogs.

You have lost 8 dogs since last week?

Does he pay for everything or something?

Why do you all the cooking and cleaning on a normal day? You both live there?

I wouldn't put up with any of that shit and would have left already. You are not his skivvy.

Just do your own washing and cooking from now on.

@cannynotsay
No. The op said a few days ago that he’s a gambler - with an £800 habit on a regular basis.

Why couldn't he get his own painkillers if he had a headache?

With regards to your cold, sometimes if I have a cold and don't want to be cooking, I give DH the choice of either cooking it himself, or we just get our own, and I do myself something very quick for myself. Really depends how my appetite is affected. So I probably would have just told your husband that I was just making myself something quick and he'd need to get his own if he didn't want to cook the chicken.

If I DID have an appetite it probably would mean that I'd have enough energy to cook a proper meal. Whether he wanted to risk eating a meal that I might have dripped snot onto is entirely up to him! 😆

Not making you a cup of tea in bed is just bloody mean. My DH brings me one every weekend morning.

To be fair, when I've been too ill to do any of that, I've been too ill to get out of bed. When that has happened, once in 35 years, DH had to step up. Actually he couldn't, he was in court, so he had to hire a temporary nanny for a week, and left me with paracetamol, water and a flask of tea, which I was too ill to drink. The night he came home and I had a temp of 106, he called the out of hours doctor (those were the days).

When I wedged a vertebrae and broke my wrist so badly it needed to be pinned and plated, he looked after me and cut up my dinner but I made him go to wkrk the following day. The hospital rang, surgery arranged for the followimg day and I told him to go to work - I got an uber - no point in both of us sitting about all day.

Sorry op, but whilst your dh sounds like an u sympathetic a'hole, you have a cold and need to crack on.

I’d be annoyed (single actually) if my partner did pull his weight and do his fair share whether I was ill or not.

why do you do everything?

is he not an adult?

sounds like a total arsehole.

He has shown how little he cares about you. Sorry but I couldn’t be in a relationship like this.

Are you living in the 1950s? Why aren't you sharing the chores each day anyway? Why is it always your job to bring him tea in bed? Stop being such a doormat and fell him where to F off.

We have 5 dogs but one of them has just had 8 pups

one of them had 8 pups 2 weeks ago

@inkyspells Why have you made a rod for your back? Romantic relationships are 50/50 give and take. Only with children do we give and give and as they mature we tend to give less so they can increase their self esteem themselves otherwise you create entitled adults like the one you’ve written about. Frankly, get a grip!

heavens! What are you planning on doing with them?!

Selling them obviously 🙄