Does everybody have a special group of female friends?

[changedmyname24]

I've just been reflecting that although I have lots of friends, I don't really have a special close group of friends & I feel like I am missing out. A group who naturally turn to each other for birthdays & other celebrations & who go away together. I have never been on a 'girls' trip' away & I would love to but don't know who would go with me 😔

I have 2 sisters who I love but don't really see as we are very busy & don't live particularly close to each other. I have a great Book Club but we rarely do anything outside of that. I have recently reconnected with old school & uni friends, plus I have quite a few close friends who I meet up with individually. I did have a close group of friends when the DC were in primary but they are in secondary school now & we hardly meet or even chat via text any more 😔

I turn 50 next year & would so love to have a weekend away with a few friends to celebrate as they always look like such great fun, but I can't see it happening.

No.

I have lots of different groups rather than a single one.

Who would you like to be away with? What would you like to do? I’ve been away on a couple of trips, we had great times, in order to see particular places. If you would like to do it, start suggesting it!

Yes, literally everyone else does. Snort.

Of course not. Some do, some don't. Some will have a group that naturally coalesce together for a few years then dynamics or circumstances shift. The important bit is, if you want it go build it. There are lots of online sites that set up friendship meeting points in big cities, or you could start trying to bring together people you like who might like each other. Good luck!

I have a couple. I have a group who I've been friends with since school. We go away together although we are scattered all over the world now so it's not easy to arrange.

I have a group of 4 who I've been friends with since university days. We try to get away once she year on a long weekend in the sun.

I've got a group of 6 who I met through my older son's year group at primary school. We meet once a month for a meal or drinks. We have a really active WhatsApp group and I've been to festivals with several of them.

I've another group of 5 who I met through my middle son's school group. We've bonded well and have been away a lot together.

My friends are very important to me.

No, I’ve never had this.

I have a very small group who don’t see each other as much as I would like but do try to have an annual get away over the last few years.

I am really envious when I see women with larger groups of friends and active social lives but know there is usually a lot of drama and bitching behind the scenes - just read some of the threads on MN!- so that makes me feel better about having a couple of good close friends.

If I had a party I think I’d only have around 5 friends I’d say who are close enough to want to come and a handful of others I know but not sure if they would come!

Some people do and some don't. It's ok to have a preference and be disappointed if you don't have the friends you want.

Nope. Not interested in that kind of set up. I just visit friends on a one to one basis.

Yes. I do. We are a group of 7 known each other since school. We holiday together, have raised all our children together. Have been bridesmaids and god parents and still meet up every week. I feel incredibly lucky to have this relationship and can’t imagine life without them in it.

I don't have a single big group of go-to besties, but I know a couple of people who do. From what they say - these set ups often look glossy on the outside but they can be quite stressful and there are frequently simmering sub - tensions between individuals in the group. Several people in there for the social kudos rather than because they actually like the group. Personally I prefer smaller groups and individuals for friendships.

Yes, not entirely female but mostly, there are eight of us. We met at university and talk every day without fail, even now.

There has only been one fall out in all this time and no bitching, we are all very close.

I have other friends but when it comes to the practical and emotional support, birthdays, trips away etc. it’s always the group of us.

No, I’ve never had this. My friends are mostly individuals who I see 1:1, occasionally in small groups. But I don’t have that movie style group of “the girls”. And I don’t think I know anyone else who does tbh.

Yes I do, but from school days and we lived around the country and meet up twice a year.. Since my 20s I've never made any new close friends like that though. At 50 I do now have some nice situational friends who may become closer though.

Nope. Never been on a girls trip, nor a hen do. Used to have a group for a short time but the others stopped bothering and nobody arranged anything or gets in touch. Would love this but I doubt it'll happen now.

This is exactly how I feel 😔

You don’t know what you’re missing

I don't like mixing in groups of people, only one to one. I find it overwhelming mixing with lots of people at the same time.

I'm not missing out. Each to their own.

I prefer to have friends in a group. Friendships that never go beyond one-to-one don't work for me.

This is a good article about the subject

philippaperry.substack.com/p/loneliness-and-what-to-do-about-it

So many replies so far with people saying they do & it makes me quite sad. I must be doing something wrong that I can't have this.

If I try to arrange anything more than a few drinks at the village pub with any one group, people are too busy, working, too tired etc. Or out with other friends. But they will do it with other people, because those groups matter to them.

Those saying make it happen- how?! I try to arrange group nights out & get rejected. I don't have a natural work circle to ask as I have only one colleague. My kids only need me as a taxi which takes up my time & doesn't lead to a connection. Plus it's not that I don't have friends, I just don't have that special group 😥

No. I can't think of anything worse.

No. I have about 6 close female friends but they've never met and I see them all separately.

Yes, 5 of us who have known each other since school, more 4 these days as one has drifted off a bit. Been friends for 38 years. We don’t go away much but we are the go to when the shit hits the fan etc.

I am very close to my sisters and we speak most days and meet up most weeks and go away a couple of times a year
Also have a group of Uni friends,again speak most days , see each other a couple of times a month and go away at least once a year
Also school friends speak most days, see each other every couple of months and go away most years
All very important to me
OP could you suggest something to people eg your book group,look out for a book festival and suggest going

This!