I admit I had my babies a long time ago, so probably everything I think I know is wrong….

[CurlewKate]

…and I’m sure there have been many good changes in baby raising practices. But two things in particular seem to be causing anxiety and stress in the new and expecting mothers on here and in my RL that there seems to be no real evidence for, and seem to just be things to beat women up about. Colostrum harvesting and tummy time. Am I missing acres of scientific evidence? To nail my colours to the mast, I was a hippy dippy attachment parent who was old and confident enough to question anything I was told if it didn’t seem to make sense to me. But for many that’s a very very hard thing to do.

The sheer amount of information/ do’s and don’ts can be overwhelming.
I was told to harvest colostrum because I had gd. Stressed about it for a few days then decided fuck it, I don’t need this extra pressure, I’ll just take it as it comes. Turned out I didn’t need it so I saved myself some trouble.
”Are you putting her on her tummy?” seemed to be some bored, check list thing every health professional felt they had to reel off.
I had to keep pointing out the baby was in a pavlic harness and couldn’t be put on her tummy. They then just shrugged.

Never heard of colostrum harvesting apart from new born farm animals. My kids were all formula fed from birth and are all fine and dandy. Did I feel guilty about bottle feeding? Did I heck

I do t know anyone who did colostrum harvesting. Just another way to make women feel guilty imo. Not one midwife mentioned it either and that was a few years ago.
Tummy time I did do but not religiously. They hated it!

Oh, well after that thorough testing, significantly large sample size and peer reviewed research... You must be right and no kids ever were suffering the effects of prolonged time spent on their backs

🙄

you are correct
its called positional plagiocephally I think

I thought it was in response to the "back to sleep" campaign, which didn't start until the early 90s?

No it is the risk of babies vaulting out of the cot. Which I could do from 6 months old, ie as soon as I could pull to stand.

DS couldn’t, so we used a normal cot. Once he could climb up, which fortunately was over a year old, we took one of the sides off.

The only people I know who have done this did it out of desperation and the baby/toddler not sleeping. So they made a floor bed so they could lie with them until they fell asleep, easily get out, and would lie with them if they woke in the night.

No one thinks a cot is a “cruel cage”. Just like no one thinks strapping a baby into a car seat is a cruel form of restraint.

I have successfully raised two children, but had never heard of lots of things that SD talked about. Colostrum harvesting, wake windows, contact naps, no caffeine in pregnancy and lots more, but yes, they seemed to be in a constant state of panic when DGC was young. I couldn't see where the joy was, to be honest.

I actually think tummy time is quite old fashioned. It was promoted as the antidote to the old style way of strapping a baby in a pushchair whenever you wanted to contain them (around the house etc) and them not getting enough floor time to develop muscles

its Promotion has worked I think, and its just a normal part of having a baby now.

Must differ by NHS area. My eldest is now 6, and they had colostrum harvesting kits (bag with instructions, pot, and some syringes) in the waiting room at the hospital when I went for appointments.

Also used by earlier climbers who have to come out their cots at a young age due to the risk of injury from falling when trying to climb out.

I just feel like the tummy time thing is not going to be seen as a benefit in years to come. All three of mine hated it so I never did it after trying, I did carry them in slings and put them on my own tummy in bed (while awake) and used baby containers like bouncers minimally over them just being on the floor.

Colostrum harvesting was never suggested.

The advice varies all the time. I kind of just stuck with what I did on my first with all three partly because I was more chill after the first time.

Mine are all in their 30s and accepted wisdom changed even between the first and last. There was no internet and my advice was from Penelope Leach books, and Morher & Baby magazine.

Mine was 1999 and it wasn't a thing then. We were actively discouraged from allowing dc to lie on their front at all.

I do agree. I am all for progress but not when it simply puts more pressure on parents, who are left worrying that they have failed to do it all properly.

Tummy time seems to be a particular unnecessary stressor. Trillions upon trillions of babies have never had this and are perfectly fine.

I think this is just done out of desperation, my escape artist literally vaulted out of his cot one day so we had to put him in a floor bed with a baby gate on the door.

I’m sure nobody thinks a cot is cruel, it’s just an idea if the cot doesn’t work out for you.

I was also a bit 🙄 about this one. Who has a big enough house to dedicate an entire bedroom to a mattress, moving everything else out and having nobody else sleep in there etc?

its probably the room the baby will sleep in? Unless you have to have children sharing it’s seems easy enough to achieve

we didn’t do this although my children couldn’t sleep in cots, they wouldn’t sleep without me so we just co slept or went straight to double beds with barriers

I did colostrum harvesting with my second as I knew I’d have to have a CS and wanted to breastfeed and knew the op was very high risk so it meant DH had something to give the baby if I wasn’t well enough. In the end I was able to feed him while they were stitching me up still in theatre but he was very small and sleepy so having a load of colostrum I could get into him easily was absolutely brilliant and I was feeding him straight from the breast then topping him up by syringe. The NHS has some great stuff by midwives on YouTube. If I didn’t need it I’d have chucked it but it was very handy in the circumstances.

Mums do seem to be very stressed compared to years ago. I think, along with everything in modern life, too much information causes anxiety overload.

What do we see in here constantly..... Mums stressing that they have eaten something toxic prebirth, colostrum harvesting. Post C-section vaginal seeding. Then they can't pee or shower because they can't leave their baby for a millisecond. Breastfeeding on demand. Lack of sleep. Cry to sleep. Bed sharing.

I honestly think it was better way back when you just got support from friends and your mum. Back to sleep was a game changer, but everything else is really just noise and makes very little difference to baby outcomes, but seems to make mothers very anxious and unhappy that they are not following "rules".

Rules incidentally, that are not universal, but vary from country to country due to culture or just general advice.

So, back in the day, you avoided smoking and alcohol, we everything else was optional. You chose how to feed your baby, you left babies in their own to sleep peacefully, or gaze up at the birds in the garden. You popped them on the floor to play and roll. You had nap and bed routines. You weaned and potty trained early. Job done.

I’m also a big fan of a floor bed, there’s nothing odd about it at all.

Isn’t it just the child’s room? We never did a floor bed but the bedroom was always childproofed anyway, so we could have. Why would it need to be totally empty?

My biggest bugbear is that other than on MN where nobody admits to using one for extended times, in real life the number of babies left in car seats for extended periods is immense! Walking round shops, shopping centres, for full meals at restaurants, in evenings at a wedding, at sibling activities (my Son plays football and a baby sibling spends the full 60 min trainings or 90 min games in that car seat) More should be done to advertise how bad these are for babies rather than making wheels the car seat can attach to which makes it easier!

I was actually really shocked at a toddler group recently when it became apparent from a couple of parents they they thought the car seat guidance only applied in the car.

One woman even said "why would they make the Doona if they can't be in the seat for long" - which is a fair point, but like so many baby things (socket covers, cot bumpers etc) being for sale doesn't equal being safe

I was joining in many threads on here 20 years ago stressing about tummy time. It was definitely a MN thing then, because I had no idea about it and suddenly had to add it to my list of things to worry about.