How often do your grown up children call you?

[pinenuts75]

Just that mine never call really, unless I call them, or they want something then they will call, I appreciate they are young adults with their own lives but I just feel a bit abandoned I guess, is this normal?

I’m in my 20s, I call my mum at least once a day, sometimes twice, and chat to her in our group chat. Usually I call her on my commute for anywhere between 5 and 30 mins just for a chit chat. If I don’t call she’ll usually call me.

My daughter I have nearly daily contact with because I am very involved with childcare and she is on ML so quite lonely ,one son probably once every couple of weeks and very occasionally messages,I usually message first ,second son lives overseas very hit and miss with him messaging or calling 🤦‍♀️Pretty rubbish at replying to messages but when he does call about once a month he is then very chatty.

My DD only calls about once every 4-6 weeks but WhatsApp in between and often sends a quick photo of DGC. Eldest DS rings me every week for a chat. He also WhatsApp too. You gest DS only loves a mile away and he ri GS most weeks but I also see him most weeks too even if he only pops in for a coffee. We do pop out to Wetherspoons for a breakfast about once every 2 weeks and have a catch up chat and coffee. I do more travelling to visit DD and eldest DS as they both live over 100 miles away and work full time and have busy lives whilst I'm retired so have more time.

Agree with Figs,send weekly upbeat messages.

DS25 calls me about 3 or 4 times a week.

DD28 calls me about twice a week.

We are in daily contact 1:1 on WhatsApp and the three of us have a group chat too. That’s for silly photos, memes, chat.

Edited to add I only see them about once every 6 weeks as they live two hours away.

@pinenuts75Don’t feel disheartened by these replies. I think people who have a lot of contact from their children are most likely to respond to this post.

It’s a bit like the high earners replying to the ‘how much do you earn?’ threads.

When posts like this have been phrased slightly differently, I’ve seen lots of people say their children don’t contact them.

Hopefully they’re just in a phase, and will come back to you.

Oldest DD26- every day on her walk home from work.
Youngest DD20 - up until last week about every 2 days but she’s at uni and I think it’s a good sign the calls have lessened.

Texts daily - usually cat photos nothing major.
Family FaceTime once a week - usually on Sunday.

We're in a Whatsapp group with daughter and SIL (who have our two young grandchildren) and it includes SIL's parents and SIL's sister. Daily chat/info goes on that group. We rarely phone each other, only if it's something urgent.

Never.

DS (at uni) - really varies depending on what’s going on but at least once a week- but we’ll WhatsApp too inbetween.When DD was at uni it was similar. We probably WhatsApp’ed more as she’s more in to communicating! she’s living at home currently though.

Middle one lives overseas and video calls about once a month, maybe WhatsApp the odd photo of DGC.

The others might WhatsApp some funny photo or anecdote on the family group, if either one messages me directly it will only ever be wanting childcare.

I hate phone calls, I don’t ring them and they don’t ring me. My late DM used to ring me every fortnight for a catch-up and I dreaded it.

DD at uni at least once every 2 days and an endless stream of texts all day long.

Eldest calls 3-4,times a week. I can’t imagine not speaking on the phone and just by text to my own children

How is your overall relationship with them? How was it before they moved out? Did they talk a lot to you then or just live ‘along side’ you?

Very rarely phone. WhatsApp or text often. Every couple of days?

I speak to DD 30 almost every day. She lives at the other end of the county so we don’t get to see each other anywhere near as much as we’d like. We just like to have a bit of a chat. Just day to day stuff. I’d really miss it if we didn’t.

I am 29 i ring my mum daily on video call often while we are both cooking dinner,we also whats app daily,we see each other weekly (live 2hrs aways)
i also see my brothers weekly and speak to them on text daily or on video call.
i am NC with my dad and sister.

Once a week and short messages maybe twice a week in addition, just for chit-chat, more if there’s something particular to talk about.

I don’t get the close contact some have.
i couldn’t wait to leave home but home wasn’t bad I just wanted my own life.
im 40 now and my DM won’t phone me (I’m busy and she won’t phone at the right time) I don’t phone her very often. Probably 5 times a year and we will see each other 3 times a year maybe?
texts and emails in between times.

Before I had kids we had very rare contact.

I wouldn’t annoy my kids but maybe you have to make some more effort and don’t assume they will. I think if they are young and independent without kids they are less likely to be in touch often. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Children
should be raised to go into life not depending on parents for everything. I cannot imagine phoning my mum for chit chats every single day.

I don’t know yet how I’ll feeL
about own children but right now if they’d like to stop shouting “mum” every 5 minutes I’d be quite happy! I’m looking forward to them not needing me and having my own time to enjoy life!

I am the adult child and FaceTime once a week for about 30 minutes. Live a few hours away so see them for a weekend every ~3 months.

My ds 25 - I see him about once a week, message daily, he only actually calls when he's upset or something has happened.

Ds 21- message daily, call for 3 or 4 hours at least twice a week and see him once every 4-6 weeks.

I was making effort, it was me calling them all the time. And I would give anything for mine to be small again miss those days.

To be honest with my youngest it was quite strained, I thought things would get better when he moved out.

I know what you mean. I have one adult dc, 24yo. Never rings, messages only when they want something, they’re ill, need money, need a recipe, the hoover is broken, etc.

I send occasional WhatsApp messages, I mean once every few weeks and most of the time I don’t get a blue tick so they’re not read. I don’t want to message more often as I don’t want to be a pain. But it’s hard to know what to message about when they don’t seem bothered.

when they do contact me everything seems ok. Actually seeing them tomorrow for the first time in two months. And they’ll be happy to be taken for lunch, taken shopping, etc.

i don’t say anything to them about how id like more communication because I don’t want to annoy them. I’m hoping as they get older maybe they’ll communicate more. I guess when I was their age I was too busy having fun to think of my parents. I think with mine it’s just thoughtlessness.??

My son at uni texts me fairly often, usually for some cooking advice or something. My older one not so often as he works FT and lives with his gf so I don’t expect many chats. I text them both every weekend to say hello though and they usually respond to that.