How often do your grown up children call you?

[pinenuts75]

Just that mine never call really, unless I call them, or they want something then they will call, I appreciate they are young adults with their own lives but I just feel a bit abandoned I guess, is this normal?

Yes I’m the same I don’t want to annoy them, but I don’t like not having much contact either, they both have and live with their girlfriends, so I guess they just have their own lives now.

Two are still at home and the married one FaceTimes at least twice a day

They call me and DH about 4-5 times a year LOL!!! We do communicate with each other on WhatsApp on maybe 3-4 days of the week though, and we see each other 2-3 times a month. They both live 15-17 miles away - one in a medium sized town and one in a large town. (We live in the arse end of nowhere in a tiny rural village!)

We used to speak on the telephone maybe twice - maybe three times a month pre WhatsApp, but quite honestly, it's easier/more convenient chatting on WhatsApp. (Had it 6-7 years, it was very handy during the Covid lockdowns!)

I did occasionally try and ring them (maybe 6-8 times a year,) but they never chuffing answered... So I stopped bothering, and I rarely do now... I just WhatApp them!!! I enjoy WhatsApp, as we send each other pictures. Of the cat, or pics a nice walk we've been on, or a meal we're out at, or a sunset, or a nice rainbow. Lots of stuff. They send nice stuff too.

To the posters (whose DC who are mid 20s and younger,) who hardly hear from them 'unless they want something' and don't seem to be arsed about chatting/messaging back/even reading your messages. My 2 were the same. It was borderline slightly hurtful, and a bit annoying.

But when you realise it's not personal, and not about you, but more about them, and that stage in their life (being a bit wrapped up in their own world/their job/their mates/their boyfriend or girlfriend) you sort of stop getting bothered.

My 2 DC are in their early 30s now, (just over a year apart in age,) and are much more thoughtful and considerate now, and are much better at contact/getting back in touch than they were even 4-5 years ago. They respond to our messages within 1 to 4 hours around 80% of the time, compared to only about 15% of the time when they were in their mid 20s and younger.

Most of the time it was a day or two before we got a response.. Occasionally it was not at all! 😬

Wow that’s quite a lot. I’m close to my boys but I think I’d struggle to have 3 or 4 four hour phone calls with them. I text them once a week as the norm and then there’ll be the odd text in between, but not every week. I feel I’m doing well 😁

It's never meant to be that long but we always have loads to gossip about so it usually goes on and on.

I thought it might have lessened when he moved in with his boyfriend but they seemed to increase.

I'm happy to be led by them.

I have a daughter who's just about to turn 18, I do wonder what she will be like when she flies the nest as well.

Speaking as an adult child, I always wonder what people find to talk about when they call their parents all the time. I don't phone my parents and I associate phone calls with urgent things/ something wrong. I whatsapp my mum probably once or twice a week depending on what's happening or if there's something to say. My mum is much more talky than me though so would probably enjoy speaking more.

My mum lives 10 minutes away. I message her most days, see her 2-4 times a week (she also helps me with school pick ups). I’m 38. It hasn’t always been this much.

Rarely. I call them instead. They send messages though a few times a week.

Mine talk about everything and anything. DD1 FaceTimed me this morning just to say hi as we were both off work, I spoke to her while I got ready and drove to the city. We chatted about cars, Harry Styles tickets, her weird neighbours and my upcoming GP appointment after having blood tests done last week. DD2 sent a text and asked if I wanted to go for coffee.

My daughter calls me around 6 times a day, my eldest son calls about once a week and the youngest rarely calls but will message me most days. We also have a busy family group chat. I rarely call them though as I prefer to text.

Daughter might message once a month,usually in reply to me. Son will call about once a month.

I'm 69 and only have one child, a son 43, and one granddaughter 17. I speak to my son everyday and also WhatsApp , and see my granddaughter once a week. We go to football matches and concerts (we love soul and Motown) and sing our favourite songs when we are in the car together. Current faves are the Drifters and Glenn Campbell.

6 times a DAY? Is that a typo?

I am the grown up child (45). I call my mum at least twice a week and my dad once a month and my gran similar. We have a family chat with my siblings and my (divorced) parents and I will post something in that most days.

My parents very rarely call me - once I left it to see what would happen and it got to about 8-9 weeks and I gave up and called.

@Thecomfortador i just chat about any old thing - getting the windows painted, what the kids are up to, illnesses, perimenopause- everything really!

I only ever call family. There was time when I’d spend hours on the phone to friends but that era has passed. I miss it, and sometimes I reach for my phone and wish that I had more people who would randomly enjoy answering the phone and having a chat.

Never, but he lives locally and pops round once or twice a week. We also say ‘hi’ on WhatsApp most days.

I call mine at least fortnightly, sometimes weekly, but we do send messages every few days, and visit every so often (we're nearly 100 miles apart, and both still work full-time).

I guess I’d just like to chat. I could tell Dd what’s been happening at home, with the animals, etc. I’d love to hear what she’s been up to, her course, her work, her friends. I’d be happy to talk about stuff in the news, politics, etc (she’s quite opinionated in a good way about that sort of stuff and I’m also interested in current affairs), chat about Traitors, whatever.

but I do get that to her my life probably isn’t very interesting. She’d rather talk to her mates. I don’t take it personally but I am sad.

I'm surprised so many people still make phone calls. I'm 60 and I never speak to anyone on the phone (thank goodness). I'm also proud to say I've never video called, and wouldn't know how to do it 😂

DS calls us about every couple of weeks, he is quite busy with either work, doing stuff at different times so easier for him to call us for a chat when he is free as he knows we are in pretty much every evening.

What, never? You never call the GP, dentist, hospital, clinic, a neighbour or elderly family member, a company about an order, any government body (the council/DWP/DVLA/tax office etc,) your internet provider if your internet goes down, work, a friend, the hairdresser to book an appointment, the optician to book or cancel an appointment, a restaurant to book a table, the local mechanic/garage to book your MOT for your car, your power provider if your electric goes off/power cut? You NEVER make a phone call?

My DC are in their early 30s, and make phone calls/talk to people on the phone. They do some stuff on the internet, but some things they use the phone for. Some things you kind of have to use the phone for. I don't know how anyone can never make a phone call, like, ever.....

My daughter communicates with me almost entirely by meme, and occasional updates on the family WhatsApp. My son phones his dad when he thinks there's something wrong with his car. I am literally the only one in the family who phones anyone.

I'm in my 40s and used to call a couple times a week, and mum would call me about the same.
Since Dad died, we phone several times a day. Probably a 3:1 split but if she hasn't called by about 10am I start to worry.

DH, also in his 40s, would never phone his mum unless he needed to ask her something. Just doesn't occur to him. I phone her though, and talk longer than DH would. But only once every 2 weeks ish. Probably wouldn't notice if it stretched to 3 weeks.

DD FaceTimes every Sunday evening , DS once a week or so , but no fixed day
I don’t phone them , they have busy lives , but they know hey can speak to me whenever they like
I text or WhatsApp a couple of times a week , they do the same

Well, this is a very different starting point from the relationship I have with my dc. It is clearly also very relevant.

None of mine phone regularly, or at least, not to 'chat', but we all chat most days one way or another. We have a few different WhatsApp groups, two of my dc will be chatting in at least one of those every day and the other might 'disappear' for a couple of days but then suddenly pops up and says something.