I'm going to visit my son. It's going to cost a fortune..

[Beakthrough]

He's in Uk at the opposite end to me.

He can't put me up so I need to pay travel and accomodation, plus I won't be able to cook for him (or vice versa) so I'll likely end up paying for several restaurant meals too.

I reckon, by the time I'm done it will cost me close to £1000 for the six days planned.

Nearly £200 in travel, £400 for the cheapest accomodation I can find, plus 5 or 6 dinners and ither spending money.

I have the money, I'd spend it on other trips without thinking too hard, but I'm struggling to justify it to myself for this one, which makes no sense to me. Can anyone else work out what's going on with my head?

Hopefully, eventually he'll have somewhere he can accomodate visitors but for the time being he can't.

Op you say you're widowed, is this the first visit without your husband? Two days of travel, days sat somewhere secluded on your own when they're at work, it sounds like it could be quite lonely. Perhaps that's what is making you hesitant? 1k to see your son for a week would be 1 thing but 1k to be lonely for most of the time feels odd

Maybe an idea for the future but you could meet half way?

6 days is a long time. Why don’t you do a long weekend instead? Will be cheaper and you can still see him

Sounds like he lives in a beautiful area so can’t you just treat it like any other holiday with the bonus you get to see your kid?

Why not do 4 nights / 5 days? Makes it a bit cheaper and will still get 3 full days as well as the traveling days.

Yes, but she’s not going abroad. She’s going to what sounds like an expensive part of the UK due to lack of available accommodation. The UK is expensive for transport, accommodation and food.

£1000 is a lot of money for a few days to only see your son evenings .
Having said that ,you are so lucky that he is within only a few hours of traveling time.
My son is in Australia and and it’s a 24hour journey costing a bloody fortune.
Got back a few weeks ago,loved Australia but the cost …£5000 including accommodation. Shall not be able to physically see him now for a long time 😔

Where are you travelling to/from?

Could you look at house sitting in the area?

You only saw him a month ago. What the rush to go again? Once a year is enough I would say

Why can’t he cook for you, not having a spare sleeping place is fair enough but unless he’s in an hmo I don’t understand why he can’t cook you food

He's in an HMO, op did say 😂

Do you expect to spend every day with him? 6 days is intense. If he has time off as well, would be want to spend some time with his girlfriend?

Are there flights? I have done 8 hours on a coach to Cornwall to saved money and it was terrible.

I get it OP. My daughter had a crisis one summer and she lives 7 hours away.

By the time I’d paid for accommodation - booked at the last minute as I hadn’t known I was going - in a holiday resort at half term, taken us both out for lunch, dinner etc, bought her stuff to make her life easier etc etc I returned home £6k worse off. It was worth it and we could afford it but ouch!

Don’t be nervous, I hope you have a lovely time.

I'd still be inclined to go for airbnb option. If they're sharing with lots of other people they may love the opportunity of a quiet place to eat with you - maybe they could even stay for a night? You could cook for them, they could cook for you. If you've got the money then make it really work, and something that you all want to repeat. Don't stay in a miserable hotel. Don't be forced into buying expensive mediocre meals out. Don't spend times together cramped into your bedroom or theirs.

Maybe even spend more? Make it feel really good and worth every penny.

Just wondering if you are the same poster who posted a few months ago about her son moving to one of her favourite places and her intention to visit every other month. If so, is the reality of the cost of it hitting home? If not, I apologise. Either way, I wonder if this is more about adjusting to not seeing your son as often - which is hard - but a normal part of children growing up and finding their own lives and paths?

if you are having second thoughts maybe plan a trip for spring when it’ll feel more like a holiday?

You could go for 2 days plus 2 days travel.

It’s not his fault it’s cold and January. You could visit him at a different time.
Or you could say that you saw him a month ago and you’ll see him later?

Are you lonely and is it the fact that you now realise that visiting your son isn’t going to be straightforward and expensive? And he won’t be there to give you company as he’s working? Which is then reinforcing the loneliness…

Cut down the visit by a couple of days. If he is working anyway then it’s a long time to entertain yourself. I live 250 miles from my family and have spent tens of thousands no doubt over the last 25yrs visiting. I am moving back in the summer, but will then have a son down here still to visit. It does add up.

I know you've said other accommodation would be more expensive, but is that taking into consideration you could cook there and save money on meals out?

If you’re not skint then why are you even adding up how much it will cost to visit your now son ?
Are you very money oriented ? What a strange but sad post .

Wrong time of year now, but in the Summer and at Xmas you can book local University accommodation. This cuts the cost substantially and you can pre-prepare meals and put them in the communal fridge and warm them in the microwave. Depending on where you are stopping, some youth hostels offer good single rooms with the same cooking facilities.

Motorhome hire might be an idea. Ask a friend along to do/share the driving and make a road trip of it, cooking for yourselves and with the big bonus of time with your son and his gf.

As in hiring a cottage etc.

Join the Facebook group for the local area. Eg accommodation blue weight area.

Then pop a post on. I have a cottage rural Scotland and loads of people contact me via this. Out of season always happy to have heat in house and a single guest reduced rate.

When you say they can't have guests as they live in a shared house, does that apply to sharing a meal or just mean no overnight guests? Do the house all eat together?