How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

I think smacking children at that time was fairly rare. I think smacking teenage children on the bottom so hard it leaves a mark and only stopping once they go to university is very bizarre and not at all common.

When I wasa kid (1950s) smacking was normal. I was often given a good whalloping by my father using his fists, his belt or whatever came to hand. Most of my friends were smacked on the leg or the arm and it was considered quite normal.

It may have gone out of style now. Sometimes I read threads on MN and think I would have got a good hard slap for that. Spare the rod and all that.

I too think it was uncommon to the degree you describe for yourself and not discussed in public so therefore was not seen as social acceptable. My reasoning here is that if a subject is openly discussed there is a degree of social acceptance. If it happens behind closed doors and not discussed it is not socially acceptable but not necessarily socially condemned either.

My siblings and I were occasionally smacked in the late 70's and 80's but not that often and it didn't hurt that much. Our dad didn't do it past age 11 or so. I think some parents took it way too far even if it was not frowned upon back then.

I grew up on the South Coast in the 60s and 70s, family was left wing working class, rapidly becoming middle class. My Mum smacked me once, presumably out of shock, after I'd been found having gone wandering (I was only 6 or 7). It didn't hurt. My Dad never laid a finger on me, and would have gone bananas if anyone else did.

Born 76 and was never ever smacked. Nor were my friends that I knew of

Smacked at home
and smacked at school -
board rubber / bunch of keys chucked at you by teachers
boys walloped with cane
girls got the slipper
70’s and 80’s

I was being hit (‘smacked’) into my teens mid eighties (Midlands, quite religious upbringing ‘spare the rod and spoil the
child’ type rubbish)
it was fairly old fashioned and not common place by then. I found it demeaning and humiliating particularly once at secondary school.
my father born in 1930s spoke in an almost ‘fond’ way of being smacked by his father until he left home at 22.
‘didn’t do him any harm’ of course…

I think it varied hugely.

But I also think people were then (and still are now) uneasy about intervening and/or showing disapproval, let alone taking action. With my parents smacking was the least of it, and I only found out much later on that we had relatives and neighbours who were really pretty uneasy about what was happening. But they never said or did anything, because that would have been taboo. However, I realise now that there was children whose parents weren't keen on them playing with us, and our parents told us it was because we were so difficult; in retrospect, I think it was because they weren't comfortable with what they suspected was happening behind closed doors.

Woah only just took in the ‘until university’ bit. Your dad smacked you on the bum at 17/18? That’s incredibly weird. And a bit disturbing

Painfully smacked, twice a week into your teens? That was abusive.

To add we were smacked on the backside (clothed) mainly with a slipper sometimes a hand. In temper predominantly (father very reactive and bad tempered most of the time)

Nah, it was very common. Probably less so going into the late 90's but but 1970s? Standard action. No one would have batted an eye.

I got walloped on the regular, mostly by my mum because dad wasn't around as much. I'd say it went on until I was 11 / 12 and tailed off.

I don't think smacking an 18 year old on the bum in the 00s was common......

We were routinely hit at home and at school in the 1960s and 1970s.

I was first picked up by the scruff of the neck by a female teacher and slapped hard and repeatedly on my bare thighs when I was in the equivalent of Reception Class. My father snacked me so hard sometimes I would wet myself, then cry alone in my bedroom where the punishment had happened.

I had friends who were beaten with canes, and friends who were never hit by their parents at all.

It’s the humiliation you remember, as much if not more than the pain.

The clip round the ear was standard in the early 80s I think. Only for small children - hitting a teenager would have been weird except in very extreme circumstances.

I think smacking has a place in training children to exist as part of a cooperative primate species but it's illegal where I live now. I notice that it's very unfashionable even where it's legal (I think still in England?).

I remember when the smacking ban came in and I mentioned to a friend with small children and she said "what?? When did that happen??" with a level of alarm that suggested it was relevant to her arrangements.

People exist in bubbles, don't they? I remember my dad being utterly incredulous that smacking might be illegal in Scotland, and then trying very hard to tell my older brother (who was having the conversation with him) that it must mean something else, like caning a child.

Unfortunately, there will always be people who just don't connect what they are doing to their child with the idea of 'child abuse'. I don't think very many people actively set out to abuse their children; the vast majority honestly imagine they are doing something justifiable and reasonable under the circumstances.

Early 80s baby here. And we were given "spankings" very rarely. And only for the worst offenses. Example one sibling shut a door on another's hand. Ended up in an over knee in the back porch spanking. once at the age of about 7, I stayed out until nearly 8pm in the summer. The rule was home for dinner when the street lights came on around 6. I was supposed to be in the park behind our house, easy view from the backyard. I was at neighbours kid's house instead. That was the worst walloping I ever had. Think my parents were terrified. And the one I remember most clearly.

I don't remember any spanking after probably '92 ish maybe earlier for myself or siblings. They were always open handed and a couple short, sharp ones on the bum. The threat of one was enough to ensure good behaviour.

I would say it was common in the 70s/80s stopped in schools I think in the mid 1980s as I remember our school did as I went into year 2 which we were pleased about as the teacher had a reputation.

beyond 11/12 was rare though and even more so in the 90s

@WickedLabubus I would get some therapy as I suspect you are asking because the idea that your Dad smacked you regularly Until 18 troubles you and tbh I can see why

It's interesting that people say it's weirder to smack a kid until 18 than until 11/12. I always assumed it only tails off when the parents suspected you could smack them back.

I'm a 90s kid, my mum used to smack us quite regularly for any perceived insubordination or having the wrong facial expression/ tone. I was the only kid that I knew of in my school who would be smacked frequently (and for such slight misdemeanors). It was definitely unusual.

The last time she smacked me (and this was on the face in public) was age 20 because I asked her a question about my upbringing...

I'd never smack my only child, I think it's a sign of low self control and low emotional intelligence. My own childhood was basically abusive, not misguided parenting.

My father never smacked, but never told my mum her behaviour was unacceptable either which I struggle with. He says the one time he got caned in school, his mum marched over and gave the teacher an earful as she didn't believe in corporal punishment and never smacked her own children. His father also didn't smack them.

My mum was smacked and belted by her own parents which explains why she thought it was normal I guess...

I was at primary school in the 70s and teachers smacking pupils was a fairly normal event. I was very rarely smacked at home as I was mostly sensible, but when it did happen I'd usually been warned.

I'm a bit older than you OP, born late 60s and there was certainly too much of it around when I was a kid. My dad stopped hitting me (I'm not talking about daily batterings or anything near, but I won't use the word 'smacking' because I think it trivialises the violence) after he accidentally broke my finger when I was 12, trying to grab my hand to hold me still so he could hit me. I was told I deserved it for 'winding him up.' Thank God parents are more enlightened these days.

Born 76 and smacked regularly.

I smacked my children's bottoms in the 00s. I hated it, but used it as one of the tools in the toolbox.

I split with my husband in the 2020s, as he thought it was ok to continue smacking teenage bottoms. I disagreed.

I was born in 1976 and was hit with the wooden spoon as a child.