How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

I remember being smacked on the bum by a teacher in junior school - this would have been around 1985. Jail time for that now, probably.

And I remember, early 90s, a really annoying boy in school (this would have been when I was aged around 12) had a can of fizzy pop poured over his head by the teacher - not sure what he'd done but the teacher was laughing as he did it and I'm sure it cured the boy of his bad behaviour even if only temporarily but again can't imagine that happening now .

Parent in the 80s here - never smacked but did a lot of hard squeezing when they were teenagers and they both turned out fine.

I also find this interesting and wonder if you’re just a nicer person than me 😂

Before I had children I thought it was appalling to smack a defenceless child.

Now I have to admit I do understand it. On the whole I don’t like smacking and don’t wish to return to it but I do feel that it renders us as parents rather helpless at times and does mean we sometimes end up with no choice but to tolerate behaviour we’d rather not.

I was brought up in the 60/70s and I can only remember being smacked once and can't remember why. My dad was a teacher and a look that was worse than being smacked.

I brought my children up in the 80s and can only remember smacking my daughter once, she was an older teenager and returned the favour. I had pain for a few daysl.

I was born at the end of the 1950s.
We weren't smacked at home ever, and there was no corporal punishment in any of the schools I went to.
This was SE England, and I guess middle class.My Mum was a teacher, and when told by a parent that she was welcome to use corporal punishment on his child if necessary she said that if she needed to hit children to keep order she would resign.( Yay,Mum! 😊)

80's kid and had the occasional smack for very bad behaviour. In all honesty it was only actually a few times and I did rather deserve it each time. A quick smack on bottom over clothes and not painful.
Very very normal in my southern very middle class community. I certainly witnessed friends get a smack on occasions.
But never in teens and no marks etc, that sounds rather more abusive than the quick sharp discipline I experienced .
We also got blackboard rubbers thrown at us in class at secondary school by teachers in the 90"s.

Smacking was pretty normal where I grew up (southern England) in the 70s/ 80s. I was never smacked, and was seen as unusual amongst my friends. It’s not surprising that it was acceptable given that it was still legal for teachers to cane and slipper children- something that happened a lot in my primary and middle school.

I think there has been a rapid change since then. The children act came in in 1989 (although probably took a while to be implemented) and laws emphasise parental responsibilities not just rights, as well as the rights of children.

Also, I did have friends who were hit with belts etc, again it was seen as acceptable, but I don’t think anyone was hit well into their teens

Normal. I had friends who were hit with a wooden spatula as well.

Born 82, I don’t remember being smacked and I don’t think my friends were either. Neglected by everyone around me while wider family/teachers ignored the signs.. My entire childhood really. I’d like to believe this wouldn’t happen to children today but if the news is anything to go by then sadly I don’t think things have changed that much at all.

I was born in the early 70s and it was def normal. We used to talk about if our dads used a slipper, hand or belt.
Def did not get smacked past about 13.

I was smacked as a child (born 1976). A smack on the bottom (over clothes) for being naughty. At the school I went to aged 8 you could still be caned for bad behaviour, or smacked (if that’s the right term) with a belt or a wooden spoon. Certainly the smacking part (from parents) was entirely normal among my parents’ (and therefore my) social circle. Obviously no one does that now. Curiously, although I was once caned at school, it was other forms of punishment I remember as particularly grim. Such as: being made to stand in the corridor outside class with your arms outstretched at 90 degrees, with a glass of water on the back of each hand for 3 minutes. If you spilt any of the water or dropped the glass, you had to start again.

I have never smacked my children, but I don’t feel damaged by the fact that my parents smacked me.

Ps: corporal punishment was still doled out when I was at primary school.

To be fair, I had an easy ride with both my children when they were small. DS1 in particular was very biddable and honestly didn’t give me too much bother (until he was a teenager🤣) DS2 was more of a handful, but mostly just with being a bit stubborn and having an answer for everything. I honestly don’t know how I would have coped with children who were more of a challenge!

Born mid 80’s and got smacked a fair bit. I would never hit my child, or anyone for that matter. I used to be terrified knowing I was in for a smack

I was just thinking about this I was born in the early 80's and my parents only ever smacked us if we did something dangerous and it was only ever one smack on the backside clothed, it must only have happened a small number of times as well. Other than that and much worse was their disappointment in us if we did something we weren't supposed to do.

I did know some people who were give corporal punishment at home, one girl who's father was navel officer was beaten with a kind of leather paddle if she was bad, looking back I can now see that was straight up child abuse, as a child it just seemed very scary and I couldn't imagine my parents doing that at all. My DH would get smacked if he misbehaved on a more regular basis but never really as a punishment after the fact. I think it probably varied quite a bit.

I thought smacking was occasional slap on the back of yhe head or bum. What quite a few here are describing as smacking is beating ans some quite serious!

As a child of the 50s on a northern council estate one of 6 - never hit, my dad was a collier with a big leather belt and brass buckle, he just put his thumbs in the belt and we ran, never to do whatever we did again!

I don’t know how much of it is that I was not used to toddlers and didn’t realise what the hell I was doing to myself

It also happened in schools as a punishment well into the 80s. I think it happened more, but we are conditioned to think it was normal.

Born in the late 80s. We were rarely smacked, much less than a lot of my friends who seemed to regularly have the shit beaten out of them 😢 the few occasions I can remember being smacked, on the hand or the leg, it was for something dangerous or very naughty. I still think it's wrong. The last time I told my Mum I'd hit her back the next time, and she never did it again. I must have been about 10.

My parents both came from difficult backgrounds (Mum's family more prosperous but her Dad was nearly always at sea and her Mum is very abusive, Dad's family was very poor, he was sent to reform school and a YOI and my Nan spent most of her childhood in care). Both regularly smacked at home and school. They tried to do better for us. Didn't always get it right - we've spoken about it in recent years and they apologised and said they'd do things differently knowing what know now. When my lovely Dad died a couple of years ago, I remembered what a kind Dad he was 99.9% of the time rather than his mistakes.

I would never smack my DD - I've been tempted on occasion but know that's my issue, not hers, to deal with.

My dad used to take the belt to two of my brothers in the 70's. They were absolute horrors as teenagers, serious trouble makers and broke the law badly a couple of times. I don't know why he did it because it clearly didn't work to change their behaviour. To my dad's credit, he tried reason, he invited the police around at one stage to put the frighteners in them, he even tried rewarding good behaviour with prized gifts.

Mum hit me once as a late teenager with a slipper, still remember it but she may have slapped me behind the legs as a toddler, no recollection. Schools had the power to hit pupils too and it was a fairly good deterrent of bad behaviour, nobody wanted the cane.

I think the lack of socially acceptable smacking of children is excellent, but I do wonder if the fear of a smack is an aid to parents some times, not the actual smack itself.

God this thread is grim. Anyone here who was hit daily was abused and your parents sound like they had some kind of sadistic disorder. To the people on here who admit to hitting their child, you are kidding yourself if you think they don't resent you for it.

I was born mid eighties and was only ever smacked when my mother was drunk and lost control and then it was more than a slap, it was being cornered with repeated smacks raining down on you.

I had a friend at high school who’s parents still hit her. I recall her dad chasing her with a coat hanger when I was round one evening.

I also have a friend who still smacks her children today which I am not comfortable with and have tried to discuss with her. Walking to school last week I saw a child stumble over and get clipped round the ear by his mother. I did report that to school but I don’t know if that was appropriate or not.

I think it’s still more common than you might think.

MC religious upbringing early 90s and was smacked as were all my friends (Scotland). My mum was the main smacker and did it out of temper 90% of the time and it would be multiple times weekly. One morning she hit my brother in the driveway with a hairbrush on the school run and he accidently turned round in the scuffle and she hit his privates. I cant imagine me learning much from any of these incidents other than that my parents were poorly emotionally regulated.

They comment loudly on children who 'need a smack' and that they could ' have them sorted out in a week'. I made it clear from day one that I would not be hitting my children and I like to hope that they have done some learning and reflecting on their choices in seeing that my children behave well most of the time even without the constant threat of physical punishment.