How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

I dont agree - I used to think it was generational as I was walloped round the head so much (omg just got so upset just typing that - the humiliation) but I’ve met plenty of friends of my same age whose parents would never have dreamed of smacking their children - now I’ve grown up and changed my company!

I remember being in my best friends bedroom with her at 15 and her dad just walking in and knocking her out

They always say that but it clearly did becuase they carried on the violence

In the 70s I was literally the only child on our drive that had never had ' a good hiding". It was very common in the northern town I grew up in.

It was ‘Maggie Murphy’s home’ that was always the threat for kids where I stayed 😳

what's the difference?

I was born mid 80s too. Never smacked, don't even remember being really shouted at until one big row when I was a teenager (and I did deserve that!).

My mum has since said "if you were old enough to understand youd done wrong by talking it through, what would hitting add? If you weren't old enough to understand you had done wrong, you didn't deserve to be hit anyway"

I was defo smacked back in the 90’s and so were most of my friends. It was pretty normal, and tbh we all have respect, manners etc. kids these days are feral, most of them know they can get away with anything. I’ve never smacked my kids but they get the look and they know, when to cut it out.

Child of the 70s and 80s. I was walloped frequently, usually on the bum or back of legs. My mother walloped me in the village centre one time in front of all and sundry. Several hard smacks to the back of the legs. Nobody batted an eyelid. Also smacked at school whilst in primary school. They outlawed that in schools around 1986 I think. Some of my friend’s parents didn’t smack so perhaps attitudes were starting to change.

I was born in 1981 and was never smacked. My parents were both smacked as children especially my mum which is why she never smacked us, my dad is just very laid back so smacking is just not his style!
I think a smack was fairly common in the 80s but nothing extreme, hitting anywhere other than on the bottom or with a belt etc would have been frowned upon, teachers weren’t allowed to use physical punishment in school either.
Lower middle class family, fairly left wing.

So disagree,..a little tap on the behind for bad behaviour is one thing, (the embarrassment was enough) but a slap that left a mark is totally wrong - 'back then' or now. Abuse.

i was born in the early 70s and yes my Mum smacked me when i was naughty and it taught me a lesson. Smacking older children's bottoms is rather bizarre though!
I smack my daughter's hands lightly to let her know she's being naughty and if she repeatedly does naughty things then threats of no treats etc etc can help a bit but.....!

Nope, very common for me in the 70's / 80's. Was always wait till your father gets home, and a smack. Also got clipped round the head if we so much as coughed during his Match Of The Day programme. Serious trnasgressions involved a leather belt. Two teachers at school invoked a ruler on outstretched fingers for disrupting a class. Lot's of my friends also had similar, so yeah it was quite normal.

It happened too often including at school but I don’t think it was ever considered acceptable by any child of my generation (around me at the time).

We felt it was wrong and were angry about it happening and made us respect those who did it (only certain teachers) less.

It didn’t happen after it was banned in schools your experience doesn’t sound typical if it carried on.

I was born in the 50s. My brother and I were never smacked. My children were born in the 80s and were never smacked. Friends rarely smacked their children. I witnessed one once. I suppose there might have been more.

I remember being smacked as a child in the 70s and being absolutely terrified, I had no idea what I had done wrong.

It was commonplace then, parents smacked kids, teachers smacked pupils, kids were belted at school until the 80s.

It did me absolutely no good whatsoever, in fact it did a whole lot of harm. I don't have DC but my DSis does and I am glad she has decided to raise her children without the threat of violence. They've turned out lovely.

I grew up in the 90s and was hit occasionally. As a teenager I knew it was wrong and would defend myself.

I was smacked occasionally growing up through the 80’s. I
don’t think was particularly normal for children to be regularly smacked but I also don’t think it was the same level of safeguarding issue as it is today. I gave my older children occasional smacks
as toddlers 98/00 but by time I had my younger children it was already much more frowned on and they never got a smack (I was also more experienced parent) they were born 06 and 09.

Born in 78, regularly smacked by mum but never by dad. With mum it was a very common occurrence, until we were about 6-ish. It was so common I remember my mum smacking my brother in front of a teacher. Up til university throws me a bit! I'm in the midlands. I find it bizarre that my mum used smacking all the time, but the only thing she remembers about her dad (who died when she was a child) was being hit with a belt by him, and yet she still did it. I don't know if class makes a difference, but mum was working class and dad middle class.

I was chased with the wooden spoon but never hit. My brother got a few clips on the ear. We were 80s kids and it was totally standard to get threatened with the wooden spoon where I grew up.

Middle class btw. Dad a doctor, Mum a teacher.

Born 71. Hit almost daily by my mum, dad less so. Hitting was my mums only tool in her parenting toolbox. Could litrrally be for anything. Shes nearly 90 now - and point blank denies it.

It must have been something going on in your mother’s life at the time obviously that is no excuse. Very sad that he ended up adoring her. That is common it’s the child’s way of seeking approval.

I must say, the amount of people claiming that their mum was the violent one, and their dad the opposite, has really surprised me! Almost everyone I know who was smacked in real life got it worse from their dad.

Yes, I reflected on this too, as I wrote a post earlier. I had never really thought about it always being my DM that hit us and realised writing this that my DF never did.

My dad would shout. In fact I can remember my brother saying ‘I wish he would just hit us, at least that is done with quickly, when he shouts, it goes on and on’.

A clip round the ear didn't leave a mark.

Personally I think touching a child's buttocks in anger is weirder. I get that it's more padded but it's still weird.