How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

My DH born in 1994, throughout late 90s and early 00s was sometimes smacked but his mum’s preferred method was hitting him with a wooden spoon. Very posh family if we’re talking about class

Siblings and I born in the 80s. Smacking with hand, spoon or brush was a daily event. Only stopped when we got big enough to fight back tbh.

In fact when my dc2 was being a terror my DM told me to smack them 'as it'll make you feel better'. Said everything you needed to know right there. It wasn't about punishment or correcting behaviour, it was loss of control and lashing out to release the adults emotions.

Wow, my experience is very atypical. I was born late 1960s/early 1970s, was never hit at home, didn’t have friends who were hit and never attended a school that used corporal punishment.

I’ve also never hit either of my children (nor my pets come to think of it) and they matured into well behaved and responsible adults with a strong sense of right and wrong. Like me, they see hitting another person as an abhorrent act, especially a child who is learning how to navigate life.

I find the casual way some people describe being assaulted by their parents worrying. I’m sorry for all of you who experienced being hit, I hope you’ve broken the cycle of violence.

Dad sometimes shot me with an air rifle, only shot berries, and the rifle was a very weak one, but it still hurt though !

Born early 70s and I was smacked both at home and at school. (Northern England, working class family). Both of my parents did the smacking, but only my Dad used the belt. My parents both smacked hard enough to leave a mark and of course the belt left marks for several days. As someone else said, the humiliation was as bad as the violence. One of the problems with hitting as a supposed form of discipline in our home was how inconsistently it was applied. One day we'd be smacked, another day the exact same actions would be ignored.

I was smacked on the bottom in my first year at primary school. The cane was still in use at that time, as was the slipper. It was being phased out by the time I got to high school, but some teachers continued to throw board rubbers, chalk and other objects at us.

Are you saying your dad was still hitting you when you were in your late teens, just before you went to university? I would say that is extremely uncommon?
My children were born in the 80s and I have always been anti smacking, some parents did smack their children then and publicly but it was becoming socially unacceptable and I think it definitely was by the early 2000s

I was born 1970 and my mum was anti smacking and was quite unusual compared to our friend's parents.

Born early 70s yes smacked at home by both parents and as an adult by my Mum across the face a few times. Brothers also smacked. One of the girls at school was beaten black and blue at home but nobody helped afaik and they were aware.

Cane / football boot / sticking kids heads down the toilet and washing mouths out with soap and water done by teachers at school generally always boys or working class girls. Sexual abuse/relationships was also rife from about 12 in schools generally towards middle class girls whose parents would not want their reputation shamed as the girls were always blamed.

Totally normal to smack children in the 70s and 80s.

Slightly less so in the 90s when my were young.

I was considered 'soft' for not smacking my dc.

I think this is very weird ….and no definitely not the norm of the time

Grew up in 70s, slipper (primary) and cane (secondary) were still used at my schools. I was only smacked at home a couple of times. In my friendship group two parents smacked and the others didn’t. IME middle class parents didn’t smack, working class ones did.

Born 1970, regularly smacked by my mother and step father. As were my sisters. Hands, slippers, wooden spoons.
No area of our bodies was out of bounds.
This probably carried on until I was old enough to hit back, around 14.
Fucking awful when I think about it. Dreadful memories.

Born in 1969
My mum hit us with a wooden spoon, my dad would use his belt, teachers would use the belt on our hands, wooden blackboard rulers on our bums, or a blackboard rubber chucked at our head. It all stopped in the early 1980s when corporal punishment was banned in schools and as I became a teenager at home.

The birch was also used as punishment in the judicial system, and last used in prison to effectively whip prisoners in 1962.

I remember being smacked once in the 70s for refusing to put a skirt on to go visiting relatives. DGF threatened by unbuckling his belt...but he never, ever did it, the threat was enough.

I slapped DS1 ( now late 30s) once when he set fire to our front room, more out of fright then anything. Never needed to do it again, the 'look' was enough.

At around the same time a relative was knocking seven bells out of her kids. Her kids wanted to stay with us frequently, ours appreciated us I think!
I don't know too many younger parents these days, only one admits to smacking that I know of.

Born late eighties and grew up in the nineties. My siblings and I were smacked quite a bit up until the age of maybe 9/10. I remember family members threatening to smack us too if we misbehaved but they never did. I also remember seeing other children being smacked in public and nobody really did anything about it. I guess it was the norm back then in our community. Cringe.

I’ll never understand what possesses a person to inflict violence of any kind on anyone let alone their child/ren. So sad.

OP, you were abused by your father. Hit on the bottom until the age of 18? That's physical and sexual abuse.

We would also be hit by slippers actually. And threatened to be carted off to the “jaggy jersey home” 😬

I will admit I have at times been at a loss as to how to stop my children doing something (or indeed make them do something.)

I do find it interesting. I think the emphasis in the past was on obedience and compliance. Once, we didn’t care as much about Oliver’s finer feelings about jumping on the furniture, just stop doing it. Now, there’s more emphasis on reasons: it’s dangerous, damages the furniture etc.

It’s also worth remembering that certain things have just changed over time. I remember my mum going absolutely berserk at me for getting mud on my trousers which seems harsh to my 2025 eyes but in the 80s children’s clothes were expensive; no Primark or Matalan or George at Asda. If one of my children ruined an item of clothing I’d be a bit irritated if it was an expensive one but it wouldn’t be a big thing. Then, it was. They were generally harder times in some ways and had harsher ways of dealing with matters.

Before I had children, I felt that a wee smack wasn’t such a big deal. But once I had DS1, I knew I would never ever hurt him like that. And although my mum only smacked me a few times, it made me wonder how she could have done it at all. Funny enough, in the early years of her dementia, she would suddenly announce out of the blue that she had never ever hit me. She also wrote a few letters to that effect and posted them to me, even though she saw me several times a week. I did wonder if she felt guilty about smacking me those few times, but was confused about how to express it. That there was almost a disassociation in her mind that led her to think she couldn’t possibly have done it. It certainly ties in with the very gentle woman I knew as an adult.

I was born in 87 and me and my siblings were smacked. I think it was fairly normal back then. It definitely stopped by the time I was a teenager though

I think what I found interesting is that when I challenged my (divorced) parents about it (all the hitting and smacking and humiliation) when I had become an adult, my mother vehemently denied it while blaming my father, (), and my father admitted it while blaming my mother.

Such fucking cowards.

Additionally I lived in fear of my older brother who had an air rifle and a crossbow, courtesy of my parents. When I was about 7 years old he told me I was responsible for killing a baby because I had stopped him shooting a dog that then killed the baby. I actually checked the story out a few years ago and finally, fully confirmed that he had made it up.

Funnily enough, I went into the field of forensic pathology.

I was born early 60s ans my parents never shied away from giving us a good hiding. We didnt have to do anything too bad either.
Once when I was about 8 I heard a child say a bad word at school. I didnt know what it meant and repeated it home. My parents were both home and launched themselves upon me wacking me as I cowered with my hands over my head. I never said that word again.
I was never hit at primary but got the cane on my hand a couple of times at grammar school. I didnt tell my parents because I knew I would get another belting off them.
My kids, born 80s/early 90s would get a slapped hand when doing something dangerous but never the beatings my parents meted out to me😡

I was born in 1981 and was smacked, though not that often. Our next door neighbours were very religious and smacked their own children. Up the road, there were at least two other families who smacked. When I was in Reception, I saw the teacher smack two children, although I think that was the last year that smacking was permitted in English schools.

If wasn't until I went to secondary school that I realised that not all children were smacked. The dad of one of my best friends would threaten to "fetch the slipper", but never actually did.

I was born in the late 80s and I was smacked regularly, usually on the legs. It wasn't pleasant but it wasn't nearly as bad as being screamed and sworn at, which happened every day. I was left with the perception that I was a uniquely bad child who had ruined my mother's life - something I didn't shake until I got a job in childcare as a young adult and learned that my childhood misbehaviour was totally unremarkable.

I absolutely think smacking is wrong, but I think parents need to be careful about what they replace it with.

Many of the children I was at primary school with got smacked, but smacking a teenager would have been extremely unusual - something about it seems far more disturbing to me, although I can't really articulate why.

Brought up in the 1970s/early 80s. My dad smacked us. Sometimes quite hard. This was common in our Midlands working class community. I think smacking is something that belongs in the past. I do think that it had consequences for me. In later life I have reflected that in tense work situations where voices start to be raised one of the reasons I become more anxious than most is I am waiting for that point in childhood where I get hit. Almost a reaction to duck.