How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

I ,and my siblings, were frequently smacked, slapped, walloped as children. It was the 1950s and everyone I knew was hit as a punishment. Boys far far more than girls. Punishment in boys schools was always the cane.I saw a boy's hand in Scotland completely destroyed by the strap (tawse). It was unrecognisable as a hand. Just for the record, The Head's name was Mr Campbell and he was Head Teacher at Lossiemouth Academy. He was a sadist. He will be dead a long time now.
My mother who had many good points and would never have hit her grandchildren, used physical punishment all the time. She once put an iron on my arm causing a serious burn when I was (according to her) was being a cheeky teenager. She used garden canes on my brother leaving welts across his legs and backside. I was terrified of her.
My father never hit us and it caused rows with my mother who would scream at him to hit us.
If you read back the posts on this thread most of the hitters were women. we were all terrified of our shouty, scary Mums. They had hard lives and took out their hardship on us kids.
I read the modern day complaints about emotional bullying and I think I would have much preferred that to the wooden spoon or being burned whilst being made to stand and take it. I don't think most young people realise how terrifying schools were back in the fifties or how terrifying an angry Mum could be back then. Believe me, the lack of corporal punishment today is one of the most positive aspects of raising children now.

I was smacked in the 80s, when I’d been naughty, probably up until the age of 8. I do remember my dad pulling my trousers down and smacking my bum so hard he left a hand mark! But we do laugh about it now. I am in no way traumatised by it. I called him stupid and he smacked me. He probably did do it out of anger rather than a lesson for me!

I did smack my children on the bottom or on the hand, probably until they were maybe 4 or 5. Again, I ask them now if they consider me to be a smacker, they say no, they can’t really remember being smacked much. They’re 18 now.

I was born in the 60s. I would say getting a smacked bottom at home was normal in the 70s. My primary school used to give the cane too. I don't know how common this was then. I was in secondary school from the very late 70s onwards. It was an all girls religious grammar and there was no corporal punishment there.

Born 80s, South Africa. My surgeon father broke 3 wooden spoons on me when I was 7 then got the belt, before whipping my sister (3 years older) as we were arguing at bedtime. Had a fair few similar beatings. Dad dead now and mum refuses to acknowledge how shit this was. My child is 7 now and it’s giving me a whole other perspective on my upbringing. I’d kill my husband if he ever laid a hand on her (which will never happen because he’s not a psycho)

Very similar frequency and age to you. Also very working class (maybe even lower 😂)

Really normal times have changed a lot.

Mum smacked me. Dad never did apart from push me with his foot one, on the backside after I tried stomping away after a huge row.

Teachers smacked me at school on the legs. It was really shocking to me. I was a good kid and I’d cut out a picture wrongly and she lost her temper. I can still remember how I felt even now. This was the 70s.

My parents generation were regularly hit at school.

Born early 80's northern working class. Yes we were smacked, only ever by mum although she always threatened us with 'just wait until your dad gets home' yet he never laid a finger in us or ever told us off.
A slap on the legs or bum for 'big' misdemeanors was common but not an everyday occurrence. When out in public if we were 'showing her up' she would grab us by the hand and pull us close and hiss 'wait until you get home' with a subtly raised hand to remind us what would happen.
I remember being hit with her Scholl sandal which has a wooden sole.
This only happened when I was small probably until the end of primary.

DH was raised by Irish parents and was regularly walloped and had his mouth washed out with soap on more than one occasion. By the sounds of it this never changed his behaviour and he was an absolute tear away.

I have never and will never hit my children.

Born late 60’s and it was ‘normal’ in my house.

I was hit with a stick and a hand. Born early 80s. Last time my dad tried to hit me I was 16 but he kind of missed and I called him a psycho and he never did it again.
That last time was infront of a friend who never got hit so she was a bit shocked.

It’s the fact that my family minimises and denies it that’s so revealing. I remember when my (then) newly divorced and freshly-minted-as-middle-class mother wanted to show off to her equally pretentious new friends.

It was nauseating how she turned straight from physical to emotional abuser to try to shut me up. And illuminating.

When I was a child in the early 2000s, I was playing with the neighbour's kid and his mum put him over her knee and proper wallopped him (no idea what he did). I was so shocked that a parent would ever do that! The next day I asked my friends about it at school and they all confirmed that they were also smacked. It was totally alien in my household but clearly still very much going well into the 2000s, which is grim to think about. Thank god it's not allowed now.

90s child. Dad smacked me and my sister regularly for anything and everything really. Into our teens as well. Mum occasionally also smacked me. I was a "good" child. Worked hard, got grades at school, was never in trouble. Perhaps I was a little cheeky at times and my sister and I would fight but don't all kids?

Anyway, I have since had a baby and can't ever imagine laying a finger on her. I think it is disgusting and just a sign of his lack of self control.

The worst thing is if I ever brought it up later in life both my parents would deny it ever happened.

I have a "good" relationship with my dad now but honestly whenever I think about it it makes me so upset and angry. I'm sure it hasn't helped with my anxiety as an adult.

We were smacked all the time (despite being really well behaved kids) but once we hit teenage years it moved to our heads.

Born early 80s and Dad used his hand on bare bum, his belt, or a metal whipping cane if we were naughty, or if Mum told him we’d been naughty. Stopped before teen years. Didn’t realise it wasn’t normal until adulthood. Often wonder why I still talk to him.

Kids got slippers or caned at junior school in the 70's. I was smacked as a child. Not very often and mainly across the back of the knees or bottom. I didn't see it as abuse even though I recognise now in this day and age it is classed as abuse.

I would have smacked my children had I had any. But I chose not too. I've smacked the dog and the horse, we're talking a tap rather than a smack though. I had to be careful when I worked in children's social care in an admin role not to disclose how I felt about smacking. You very quickly picked up that the LA was very much against and so you learnt to not offer opinion when asked as it was very much frowned on.

80s. I assumed it was common. I don't remember Dad ever smacking me but Mum did occasionally. Always on the hand and it didn't really hurt. I remember being ashamed of my transgression though - I definitely had been naughty on these occasions. Definitely was never smacked past primary school - by then punishments were being grounded and the like.

I don't feel bothered by it at all, or view it as abusive.

Some of the other examples in this thread sound awful though.

Yes it’s convenient how my mother would always deny it when it was no longer considered acceptable in her new trendy circle.

Born in a northern working class town in the 80s - never
smacked. Do you have a good relationship with your parents OP?

Born late 60s, childhood obviously in the 70s, smacking was extremely common, teachers would clip kids round ears too, parents in public etc etc.

I was smacked a few times as a child in the 80s, I think a lot of people were. I can still remember the feeling of terror when my dad came toward me and I knew what was about to happen.

I never want my daughter to see me that way, so I’ve never raised a hand to her and I never will. I literally can't fathom how someone can justify hitting their own child.

Born mid 60s violence at home and school.
Home ,slapped ,punched ,kicked
School ,the belt.i was belted so hard on both hands I couldn't hold a pen because of the swelling and bruising.
And it did do me harm.

60’s child, remember being smacked by my father, even worse he only ever dealt punishment before bed, so if we had been naughty in the day we had to wait until bedtime for our smacks, being the youngest I got off lightly compared to my older brother and sister. School used to punish by way of slipper, cane, blackboard rubber, but I was too well behaved at school, since DF would repeat punishment at home once he heard about it.

My mother would batter my as a child to the extent that I now mentally repress the vast majority of my childhood. I was born in 1993 and I distinctly remember being around 13/14 and I snapped and started fighting back. It didn’t stop her, it just degenerated into fist fights that she would then twist so that I was the culprit- always. I never hit her first. Ever ever. My mother is the eldest of four and was never hit herself. She did it because she’s a nasty vicious control freak who can’t accept that I might think differently to her and if she could get away with it, she still would do it now. She went to raise a hand to my daughter and I shoved her out of the way and told her that if she ever did to her what she used to do to me, I would put her in a wooden box myself. Still working on going NC.

Born early 80's and was regularly thrashed by both parents. I can't even remember what for or any one incident that caused their anger. All I remember clearly is the sheer fury on their faces and having my legs or bum smacked hard repeatedly. It was never just one smack. I think I was probably 8 or 9 the last time it happened as I became very adept at staying out of trouble, or covering it up when I did something wrong. It took well unto adulthood before I learned not to be scared of displeasing people.

I had friends who were occasionally spanked, and friends who were never smacked at all.