How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

God that's hair-raising. I'm sorry you went through that. And the crazy thing is we were all brainwashed to believe it was a normal part of being a child, and even that our parents were doing it for our own good!!

I grew up in 60s and was never smacked at home, working class parents but totally against physical punishment.
At primary school kids were occasionally beaten on the backside with 'the slipper', actually an old gym shoe.
My brother started teaching in the early 80s and was horrified at one school where he was expected to cane pupils. Left and got a job elsewhere, said it made him feel sick, didn't know how people could do it.

I was occasionally slapped by my mum as a kid in the 70s/80s, but never hard. She was always mortified afterwards and very apologetic, so she clearly believed that it was wrong. With hindsight, I believe that she had undiagnosed adhd and struggled with emotional dysregulation.

My dad never laid a finger on me - except once when he slapped my hand out of the way to prevent me from electrocuting myself, but I don't think that counts!!

I was smacked and shouted at by my mum as a child in the 60s and 70s.
She would give me a slap on every syllable as she shouted.

People were still smacking their children in public in the 90s where I grew up (leafy home counties town). In my house it as a common but not weekly occurrence.

I was born in the 80’s my dad very surprisingly never hit me. He is quite an aggressive man in his day to day life so I’m surprised he didn’t hit me.

My mum very rarely would tap my hand if she was truly losing her temper. Never left a mark or hurt me.

I cannot believe you were physically hit until you left for uni. Do you see that as an abusive childhood now? I would. For some reason knowing you were hit on the bum at that age really makes me uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than that happening to a younger child, which is weird, as both are awful

Born in 79. i was still get a clip round the legs etc as an early teen for being cheeky/naughty. Not very often at all but i don’t remember it being pretty normal…. I’m pretty sure smaller kids were still being smacked in the early 90s too. Times change.

Yes I was quite surprised too as she's a doctor! You'd think it would have come up at work at some point.

In the 60's smacking was ubiquitous and no-one would raise an eyebrow. It was usually applied to the bum or the back of the legs and often administered not just for doing something naughty but for getting on your parents nerves (like constantly pestering for sweets). In the 70's it was still acceptable but becoming less so, especially amongst the middle classes. I don't think things changed much from the 70's to the 80's in this regard. So long story short, no, it was not at all unusual for children to be smacked in any of those decades. But are you saying that your father was still hitting you when you were 18? In that case, it would've been incredibly unusual and frankly weird.

70s child. We were smacked occasionally by my mother when she was absolutely mad at us. Dad never did. Her flat hand on our clothed backside as we ran away. Rarely left a mark. It was a sign that we’d overstepped a major mark.
At school there was an ultimate punishment/deterrent of ‘The Ruler’ by the headmaster. I only recall one occasion that it was enacted - Henry thumped a teacher - his mother was a member of staff so would have been involved in the decision. Henry was very naughty and the headmaster was a soft and fair gentleman. Henry never spoke of it afterwards. To this day I am not sure if it actually happened, but nobody ever thumped a teacher after that.

We were regularly beaten. A red cane kept on a special shelf, or hands. It wasn't seen as common perhaps because it was in the late 70s-80s. No Childline. MC family. Neighbours and friends knew, but it wasn't spoken about.

I think it was entirely normal for primary aged kids to be smacked on the bottom in the 1970s. I was (for significant misbehaviour) and so were pretty much all the other kids I knew. Not teenagers, though.

I actually don't resent it at all and I'm one of the people who think "it didn't do me any harm." OTOH I can absolutely see that it's something that could easily do a lot of harm with different parents/different kids/more aggression/more physical strength etc, and I would never ever do it myself.

Born mid 70s. Regularly smacked by parents, often for no reason other than my mother being in a bad mood.

You might get your hand slapped if you reached for food before everyone had a turn or a leg slapped for running into the road. Hit someone and you might be hit back to see how you like it. But beating a child - no, unusual and unless you'd done something like stolen from your parents it would have shamed your parents. Threats yes - actions no. More acceptable to hit a son than a daughter.

We were regularly whacked (born early 60s). I was given ‘the ruler’ on the hand at school aged 7 for putting ‘big dots’ at the end of each line of writing (I’d just noticed full stops in books). Also for having messy left-handed writing which I struggled to keep in a straight line.
The last time I was cuffed across the head was by my dad, aged 17 (a row erupted over who should go to the chippy and he decided it should be me). It was shocking and humiliating and only compounded the utter contempt I already felt for him.
I don’t think it was common amongst my friends though; a lot of girls whose brothers got smacked would say ‘me dad’s never laid a finger on me.’
I saw someone ‘tap the hand’ of her toddler at a playgroup once and the leader (who’d seen me notice) said in a joshing way ‘I have to tell you we don’t do that.’ The mother looked stunned and bewildered. This was 1998.

I was born 71 and think it was quite common. I think better parents were more measured about it in that they didn't do it very often. My mum was thick and didn't engage her brain in parenting. Just hit out a lot, including on the head. That's when she wasn't using me as a therapist. I started hitting back at 14 and it initially would turn into us fighting, but then she stopped, so I probably should have hit back earlier. She's still alive unfortunately. I don't like her

Smacked rarely as an early 80s child. I have a memory of being under 6 and my parents sitting me down and saying they’d discussed what to do about my behaviour the previous day and had decided my punishment would be a smack. I had no idea what I had done or how I was meant to have misbehaved.

I was a child in the 60s, teen in the 70s. Parents both university educated. I know it happened in our house but I can only actually recall one slap from my mum on the thigh when on holiday - maybe I remember it more because I was aware she was stressed by cooking rather than that I'd done anything wrong - was maybe being too noisy. I do recall my dad laying into my brother once - would have been late 60s - when he'd scratched my dad's new car with his bike after being told not to move it. My sympathies were with my brother as I felt my dad had gone too far. Otherwise can't remember much.

I also got smacked at school a couple of times by the head teacher but that stopped after we got a new one.

I've no idea what happened in other families. I don't think it was something we talked about or maybe we just saw it as part and parcel of everyday life?

Can't say it traumatised me though I do think adults then had little interest in how children felt or their point of view.

I got smacked on the bum in the 70s by either parent. If it was deemed really serious my dad would smack me so hard I could barely sit down.
I just thought that was how everyone's parents were.

70’s & 80’s we and kids around us were hit routinely and no one batted an eye.

My mother’s main language was violence & aggression towards us kids and anyone that crossed her. Dads main language was violence against her. Occasionally us.

Does not and never has gone on in my house.

Yeah agree re not resenting it and I can emphathise with my mum up to a point tbh (although I remember talking about it with a friend in adulthood and her describing it as violence and my first thought being don't be silly it wasn't VIOLENT but on mulling of course it was).

I haven't ever smacked and wouldn't use violence except to defend myself from attack (assuming I keep all my faculties!).

Born 1968 here and only ever smacked once... and even I think I deserved it, as I was 5, stole matches to set a fire and burned my own hair in the process (and yes I knew what I was doing!) Mum smacked me just the one smack out of shock I think.
Never smacked at school or by my Dad although he was a very poor father in nearly every other way.
Mum was an infant teacher and didn't smack the children although she was allowed to! Never smacked my own children.

80s child. The warning a smack was coming was worse than the actual event. It was occasional and not that hard but I hated it. When I was about 11/12 they actually apologised and promised never to do it again which they stuck to. Dd is 14 and I've had the simple rule that we don't hurt each other. I think having a right to hit a child because you're their parent is bonkers. Surely that's the person we should feel safest with? Smacking is just hitting with a different name and it's a breach of trust. I'm in Wales where it's illegal which makes it straightforward

Perfectly normal when I was a kid. Even at school they still had the cane

Born in 1973 and was frequently smacked, usually across the head right up until being 16 by my mum. Never dad, but he didn’t appear to disagree with it.

I was usually smacked for small things, wrong tone/facial expression. Once for the washing up water not being hot enough when I was doing the pots. No warning - just a whack across the head from behind. Once I was slapped across the head so hard my face hit the wall and I had a black eye, which I had to lie about to my art teacher at school.

I’m deaf in my left ear, I often wonder if it’s due to being smacked.

The last time was in 1989 when I was 16. I retaliated and it never happened again. The next time my mum was upset with me for coming home late I was locked out for the night! I ended up staying at a friend’s house for two weeks.

Never spoken about or apologised for, just brushed under the carpet.

Have never hit my child.