How socially-acceptable was smacking children in the 70s/80s/90s?

[WickedLabubus]

I was born mid eighties. As a child, my siblings and I were smacked quite a bit (as in once-twice a week) by our dad. It was always on the bum and only if we had done something naughty. However, it was painful and usually left a mark. This happened for most of my childhood and didn’t stop until moved away for university in the 00s.

If its relevant, I grew up in a working class northern town. I’d say that 50% of my friends in primary and secondary school were also smacked at home.

These days, I work adjacent to safeguarding, where smacking and the like are taken very seriously. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as common these days.

it has got me thinking though, was my childhood abnormal or has smacking just become drastically unacceptable in a very short space of time?

I was born at the end of the 50s and my mother never laid a hand on me. My older brother, however, who was born in the 40s, had a terrible time with her, slapping, punching, pulling his hair, shoving him. He was terrified of her when he was a small boy, yet grew up adoring her. I don't know what changed between him being born and me.

This. Smacking a teenager is weird . I was born in 71. We were smacked sometimes but I can’t really remember it and it was pre age 10 I guess. I also gave my DC the odd smack in early 2000s. I wouldn’t do it if I was a parent of young chn now. Times have moved on.

Those of you who claim it never did any harm, do you think it did any good?

can’t you see that by allowing it as long as it’s proportionate and measured, it leaves a huge grey area which can be exploited by parents who are more abusive? Surely there are better ways to discipline.

i was regularly hit by my SM. On one memorable occasion (while on holiday), she told me to jump in the pool first because a slap on wet skin would hurt more.

I have never hit my DC. And she’s turned out OK.

You have to remember that the cane was still going in in schools so the backdrop of physical punishment was normalised .

I was born in the early seventies.I can remember getting smacked on the bottom as a small child by both parents and later slapped round the face by my Mum when I was a teenager and wanted the last word in an argument. She would always say 'This will hurt me more than it hurts you'.
I don't really understand how she could actually do that to me.

I was born in 1967 and smacking children was pretty commonplace in my working class area of Belfast. My dad never smacked us and my mum only did a handful of times. There was a family in our street whose parents were known for absolutely battering their kids. I remember the youngest son fell off his bike and broke his glasses and his mum came out and trailed him into the house, whacking him the whole way. I felt bad for him, but while there was plenty of tutting and words of pity, nobody would have interfered. DP was hit regularly by his parents, who now deny ever laying a finger on him or any of his siblings. I would call what DP suffered abuse. There was fear and pain and constant threat. They didn’t dish it out to the much younger siblings who came along 10 years later, probably because it was less ‘socially acceptable’, so they seem to have airbrushed the whole lot out of history.

I never smacked mine (1980s), I was never smacked (1960s), Mum was never smacked (1943) and her Mum never was (1914) not too sure about Dad?

I don’t think anyone is arguing that it wasn’t bad, just that it was common at the time (for younger children).
Of course it was harmful, especially at school using the cane.

I was born mid 90s and smacking/ occasional hitting with objects was a common thing in my house. A knew a few friends that were also, but I don’t think it was that common then. By teenage years I don’t know of anyone else that was.

I was born in the 90s and was probably smacked on the leg/bottom 2 or 3 times as a kid. Not excusing it of course but it was reactive (such as walking into the road) and I think my parents would be mortified to remember doing it. I grew up in a really loving household and have a great relationship with my parents still. Not excusing it at all but I think even then it was quite common and was probably seen as socially ok and not at all in the realm of a separate 'beating', which or course would have been seen negatively. Again, not excusing it and I doubt my parents even remember it (I only vaguely remembered when seeing this post). I wouldn't ever do it to my kids and it's rightly seen as wrong now.

Same as above, also smacked at home, friends same, not a lot but it happened,

I was born in the early 1960s, middle class, North of England. We were never smacked. It took years to realise that my parents, certainly not socially liberal, were quite enlightened in not smacking us, especially as my paternal grandmother gave voice to the view, in front of us, that smacking did children good. On the one occasion I was hit at school, by a teacher, my overriding emotion was outrage. Thank goodness most people are shocked now if they see a child being hit.

Born in the mid 70s, hitting in state school was phased when I was in juniors. Hit by both parents but never hard enough to leave a mark, my mother even said if she’d wanted to really hurt me, she’d do where nobody would see. I was slapped in the car for quarrelling with my sibling . Smacked around the head, hit wherever she could get, I got good at running and holding my bedroom door closed sobbing as she’d try to get to me. She smashed mine and my sibling heads together once, never repeated as we cried so much. Rubbed my nose in wet underwear when I wet myself. Hit me up until 6th form but I kicked her away, I was sitting on the stairs. She was outraged I tried to hit her. My father, not so much. He slapped me around the face for being really rude as a teenager and called me a little bitch. I used to hit my sibling in fights, not proud of that and have apologised as an adult. Have only slapped hands of my children when they were reaching for hot or sharp stuff. I did shout, but I apologised, I did struggle as I wanted to be different from my own mother and not react in rage. My children are my everything. Rowed with my husband who wanted to smack as his parents did. I won that battle. My mother hit in rage, as a reaction, because she was the parent and parents hit. I don’t like her and resent now I have to look after her now she is widowed but someone has to be the better person. Hitting was common growing up, what I experienced was mild and the brutality that others still inflict on their children makes my childhood idyllic in comparison.

Smacking and swearing at children is still socially acceptable/normal in my area.

Pretty standard.

If you read threads on here from before maybe 2005/2005, most argue that smacking is necessary.

Born in 1970s. Smacked as a child. Learned to behave and keep as invisible as possible to avoid it. My mum would boast/laugh to her friends and family that i was well behaved because i knew I'd get hurt otherwise.
I remember being told to behave or i wouldnt sit down for a week.

My sister was hit a lot. She just couldnt behave.
She was also smacked at school.

The past is indeed a foreign country.

Early 90s, middle class london suburbs and I remember getting the occasional smack with dad's slipper

Where do you live?

I was born in 1984 and I was never smacked. I don’t recall any of my friends being smacked either though undoubtedly it did go on in some households.

Born early 60's regularly smacked by my mother (although my memory might be at fault over how 'regular' regularly was). I know I could be a difficult child and diverged widely from the 'nice, quiet, tidy' daughter that my mother was led to believe she would have. Only smacked once by my father.

My kids grew up early 90's and they were smacked. I was a single mum and three of them were very disrespectful and often downright out of control. Other two rarely got smacked, but sometimes I really did need to show that enough was enough - reasoning attempts just got laughed at and I was at my wit's end (and also very very tired).

We now all have excellent relationships and they don't hold it against me. They've come to understand that an ADHD mum, parenting alone with no money and no support just sometimes got driven too far. I wish I hadn't needed to smack but I had nothing left with which to sanction.

Yes, born early 70s and we were smacked by my Dad. I can’t remember my Mum.

We were hit in primary school. I got ‘the two rulers’ across my palm for going back through my homework book and adding plusses to all my grades😅 I mean, I shouldn’t have done it, but did I really deserve that sort of punishment? I also got hit for talking at night in the dorm on our school trip. The teacher went around asking everyone if they had been talking, then smacked us all on the bare thigh whether we said yes or no. I said yes because I didn’t know how to lie anyway. I was regularly bopped over the head with a rolled up newspaper by my P7 teacher for talking. But I didn’t really mind because he was quite good natured about it and it was pretty effective to be fair. Well, for 5 minutes!

Bloody hell op. You were smacked by your dad until you went to uni 😱that is disturbing!!
I was born in 74 and was never smacked and i dont think any of my friends were either (working class, central Scotland)
Ps
So glad we have banned assaulting our kids here in Scotland

I was born mid 70s and was smacked by parents.
We were even smacked at nursery. I can remember having to stand in a line to get smacked because the whole class had been "naughty". (Nursery of a Catholic convent school).
All my cousins got smacked too.
I think it started to become taboo around the mid 80s and fewer and fewer people did it, thank goodness.

Not sure about teenagers, but smacking children was seen as fine amongst people I knew (home counties village and independent school) in the 80s and 90s.