Why does everyone seem to hate baby showers on MN?

[Hotchocolateandsnow]

Obviously not talking about the over the top grabby ones (which I’ve never witnessed in real
life and probably make up 1% - similar to birthdays/ weddings percentages I’m sure or are fabricated for the news?)

Im talking about the afternoon tea with family / friends and some decorations. Getting together to see people and celebrate. You can take a present and then not take one once the baby is born.

It’s an excuse to see your friend or family, eat some nice food and chat. But there seems to be a hatred of them on MN. There might be a game but the only ones I’ve witness in real life was guess the name / weight / date of birth.

If you do dislike baby showers, do you also dislike attending weddings, birthday parties, christenings, Christmas gatherings, Halloween party, summer BBQs? Where’s your line on what’s acceptable to celebrate or not?

Americanised bullcrap

I think Baby showers are a nice get together for the Mum to be (& Dads too) to meet with friends & family before the baby arrives. When the little one comes they won't have as much time to see those close to them as often so for everyone to be together before the birth is lovely. I do agree that the BIG showy ones are so OTT & not necessary, but a few close family & friends having an afternoon with drinks & food is a good way to show support for the new baby & parents.

It's nice to have a get-together at this time, yes, for the reasons you mentioned. But do you not think the proviso that everyone has to bring a gift is cheeky? I think most people would anyway, but that's not the same thing as the whole event being about the gifts.

All the baby showers I have been too haven’t asked for gifts or had a list, so I just brought the present I would have got them after the birth. Normally clothes which means they can wash / dry / organise before the birth.

Then the parents aren’t washing and organising presents when they are super tired. Then I tend to take some food or flapjack after birth (if the mums breastfeeding) which again I would have done anyway.

So net net it’s the same present and effort

Interesting. So you get more presents that way then. Very cheeky if true.

but who is saying there is a 'proviso' to bring a gift? I've certainly never been to a baby shower where it's stated anywhere you have to bring a present! Yes, most people do, but it's as much for the guests' convenience as anything else. Pretty much every shower I've been to has had guests that haven't brought anything or have said that they'll bring something after the baby's born and that's been completely fine, no one batted an eyelid.

I didn't bring a present to either of my sisters' showers, for example, because I knew I'd be seeing future niece/nephew soon after they'd be born! Whereas with friends/colleagues I wouldn't have wanted to intrude in the first few weeks after birth/live further away from them so it was more convenient for me as well as the mum-to-be to give the present in advance.

It really does seem sometimes as if people on MN either have terrible "friends", whom they don't actually like, or hate on something they've actually got no personal experience of and are making assumptions regarding what it consists of!

Because that's literally what a baby shower is. It's an invitation to come and shower the mother to be with presents.

If people want a pre-baby get together but don't want people to feel they have to bring a present they need to call it something else. Otherwise they are just setting up an expectation of presents that will piss some people off.

you could argue the same with a birthday party though? The tradition there if you're invited to a party someone is throwing for their birthday is to bring a card or present. But unless you are a complete dickhead, if someone doesn't turn up with one, it shouldn't be an issue.

The whole point is that the people going to the shower are usually the closest friends and family - i.e. the people who would usually give a present to the baby anyway. So I don't understand why giving it a few weeks before the baby is born rather than a few weeks after is the cause of so much outrage! If you aren't close enough to the mum to have bought her a present if she wasn't having a shower, and would feel awkward going without a gift, then refuse the invite.

It's not rocket science.

At the end of the day, if people hosted baby showers and nobody came they would have soon died out. They've become popular because (most) people enjoy them. It's a bit weird (and sexist) to assume that every one of the hundreds of thousands of women who go to baby showers in the UK every year are doing so, what, because they're too weak willed or conformist to say no thanks? Surely it makes more sense that they choose to go because they (crazy concept here) like spending time with their friends?

This. A shower literally means a gift-giving occasion. I'm getting the impression maybe some on the thread didn't realise this?

You're making some extrapolations in your posts that are really quite odd.

In your reply to me you stated that bringing a present to a baby shower was 'for the guests' convenience' (?!) You've also accused people of hating human interaction, not liking their friends, and making 'assumptions' regarding what a baby shower was... then it turns out that all along you yourself didn't understand the meaning of the term baby shower! Priceless.

It's kind of weird to call other people 'arrogant' and 'rude' and accuse them of 'policing' when you're the one who hasn't properly understood the concept under discussion. There's definitely arrogance on this thread, but it's not coming from where you think it is.

I’ve actually never been to a baby shower. I’m even American, though left when I was late 20s. But never been to one there or here in the UK. I’d quite like to go! Sounds way better than a hen do. I love an afternoon tea and I’d be home to sleep in my own bed tucked up with a cup of tea.