Why does everyone seem to hate baby showers on MN?

[Hotchocolateandsnow]

Obviously not talking about the over the top grabby ones (which I’ve never witnessed in real
life and probably make up 1% - similar to birthdays/ weddings percentages I’m sure or are fabricated for the news?)

Im talking about the afternoon tea with family / friends and some decorations. Getting together to see people and celebrate. You can take a present and then not take one once the baby is born.

It’s an excuse to see your friend or family, eat some nice food and chat. But there seems to be a hatred of them on MN. There might be a game but the only ones I’ve witness in real life was guess the name / weight / date of birth.

If you do dislike baby showers, do you also dislike attending weddings, birthday parties, christenings, Christmas gatherings, Halloween party, summer BBQs? Where’s your line on what’s acceptable to celebrate or not?

This and the stupid games.

Seriously? Come on.

I prefer to visit with a present and see the new baby, with prior agreement of course.

Baby showers are yet an other American “import”. Frankly, imo, it’s tantamount to asking/expecting gifts from friends and family. It’s tacky & naff, like a wedding gift list.

I politely decline invitations to these (without saying I don't want to risk celebrating the arrival of a baby before it has safely arrived). More than happy to take a present/do the washing up/ whatever is most helpful for the new mum once they are home from hospital

I think of the shower not as celebrating something that hasn't happened yet but as a gesture to help the parents with baby supplies . The time to celebrate the baby is to congratulate the parents after the birth. I also don't believe people need a baby shower for every birth if they already have things left from a previous baby.

There was a superstition back in my day not to tempt fate. Whilst we may have bought gifts for family, larger items etc before the birth, we kept them until the baby was safely delivered. I never bought gifts for friends until the baby was here.

In work we have always had a celebratory lunch with flowers and a few inexpensive pampering products for anyone going on maternity leave, but never gave the present for the baby before the birth.

I had an afternoon out with friends as a last hurrah, but it was just lunch and a gossip as I didn't know when I would have the opportunity to do so again. Many of my friends did the same.

People brought presents when they came to meet the new arrival. Visitors came over weekends in the first few weeks. Friends and family brought sandwiches and food for people dropping in.

I didn't realise so many people dislike them. I've attended friends and families baby showers. Loved getting to see the mum to be before baby arrived.
I had a baby shower a couple of weeks ago. We did have a registry but told everyone they didn't need to bring anything. It was about 30 friends and family in a small free function room with a buffet. No games, my sister organised a nappy raffle (bring a pack of nappies or wipes and go into a draw to win a prize, there were 2, a candle and a bottle of bubbly). She asked people to fill in baby predictions and she's putting them into a scrap book for me. Then she bought little wooden blocks for people to decorate with the alphabet and numbers. For me it was lovely to see friends and family. I've been so tired this pregnancy, I also worked 6 days a week and my day off was usually spent trying to get work done for my masters, so getting everyone together at once was lovely. It's also something I missed out on when my last pregnancy ended in a second trimester loss. I want to celebrate this pregnancy and it was so heart warming to see how many family and friends love this baby already.
Everyone took home a bunch of flowers and left over buffet food.

Because it’s presumptive, the chicken is not actually hatched and therefore it’s tempting fate and so very un anglicised

I just laughed out loud thinking about a baby sprinkle instead of a shower! I think it was a comedy program and I can’t remember which it was. They held a sprinkle instead of a shower for the second baby 😂

i find them a tad boring and hate forced fun. I refused to have one for my first and will do the same for my second.

I don’t hate baby showers, if it’s a group of friends I know. Not sure I would be biggest fan if I didn’t know anyone other than the mum to be…but that’s the same in any celebration / social situations.

I have had a fair few losses and the thing that hurts the most is no one remembers them or got to celebrate them. It’s hard to think of them a proper person. While we might ttc again, I am unsure on my feelings if we would have a baby shower. My gut it to keep the whole pregnancy a secret.

But I also support my friends if they want a baby shower or birthday party or wedding. If it’s important to them and I love them enough I would make the effort. But i am naturally extroverted which helps. I can imagine for introverts that most social gatherings aren’t a popular choice.

Schitts creek!

My DD was invited to one where she was sent a list of ultra-expensive gifts that the mother-to-be apparently wanted. However it turned out that this was written by the high-handed woman organising the shower and not the mother herself who said she was perfectly happy for people to just come and celebrate with her. To me it seems strange to celebrate something that hasn't happened yet, and sadly things can go wrong. I'm not superstitious but it does seem a bit like tempting fate.

They are utterly grabby.

Horrible. I’d never have one, it does seem tempting fate to celebrate something before it’s happened.
My American SIL had one and when the baby died after a few hours, it made it worse as she went home with no baby and felt so awkward about what to do with all these bloody gifts that she couldn’t bare to look at but felt bad chucking out. So heartbreaking.

Personally I find them a bit tacky. Can’t stand the games and I’d never go and see a new baby and mum and not take a gift so they are grabby too. Not for me sorry

Absolutely agree. Celebrate when the baby has arrived. perhaps we can export them back to the USA.

I’m so glad I have American cultural sensibilities. I’d really hate to be a sourpuss, using words like “grabby” and “greedy” which are designed to shame those who love to celebrate.

That's a bit disingenuous. It's not about not liking to celebrate. Pps have illustrated how it's perfectly possible to celebrate a coming new baby without ordering people to buy them presents.

Do you genuinely not think it's grabby or greedy for people to ask outright for gifts, or to stage events where they know full well people will feel duty-bound to give gifts?

Because you’re basically asking for a gift. Most people buy gifts anyway but being asked for one seems distasteful. I think they’re so odd to be honest and I’ve just been invited to one for a very close family member. If you think about it at the base level it is someone inviting you to bring a gift for your child. I also assume they’re pretty boring, lots of people that don’t know one another in a room, making small talk.

Oh you’re me! I hate enforced fun! But I’m not miserable, I’m actually really funny, in a sarcastic, low key way. People have always gravitated towards me (unfortunately 😂) because I’m fun to be around.

Sounds like a contradiction in terms

Funny in a sarcastic way .

Sarcasm isn’t funny though - “lowest form of wit”

Apart from being tacky and grabby, they are if no interest to anyone except mum to be and granny to be yet we are all meant to don a nice frock go buy a present and act all excited for 4hr.