Why does everyone seem to hate baby showers on MN?

[Hotchocolateandsnow]

Obviously not talking about the over the top grabby ones (which I’ve never witnessed in real
life and probably make up 1% - similar to birthdays/ weddings percentages I’m sure or are fabricated for the news?)

Im talking about the afternoon tea with family / friends and some decorations. Getting together to see people and celebrate. You can take a present and then not take one once the baby is born.

It’s an excuse to see your friend or family, eat some nice food and chat. But there seems to be a hatred of them on MN. There might be a game but the only ones I’ve witness in real life was guess the name / weight / date of birth.

If you do dislike baby showers, do you also dislike attending weddings, birthday parties, christenings, Christmas gatherings, Halloween party, summer BBQs? Where’s your line on what’s acceptable to celebrate or not?

Love a get together to celebrate a baby. Hate the twee games. I don't want to eat chocolate from a nappy, do shots from a baby bottle or some kind of crap craft that's destined for the bin.

very happy with a relaxed get together not involving awful games or hours or watching presents being opened.

my ex and I had a 'normal' evening party at home about six weeks before I was due. We invited males and females, didn't play games, no blue and pink decorations (or any in fact). People had drinks, ate pizza and nibbles and we framed it as 'let's hang out before we're busy with a newborn.' The majority brought a gift which we thanked people for and opened the next day, not sat around in a circle with people falling asleep pretending to get excited over another muslin.

I had a baby shower after it took over 7 years to get pregnant.
I had a get together with friends and family in my parents garden where we supplied scones etc and a friend made and brought a cake. We didn’t play any silly games that people aren’t keen on.
It wasn’t grabby and it was lovely to finally get to celebrate after a really rough several years. SIL declined to attend as she doesn’t like to celebrate babies before they are here which is fair enough.

Because they're an over-commercialised, materialistic American import, designed to create an industry out of a life event.
At all the ones I've been to, the 'forced fun'-type games and activities have been brain-numbing! It's the waste involved too, the typical decorations are often mass landfill fodder (e.g. balloon arches, single use table decorations).

This

I don't think people dislike all baby showers - just the grasping, avaricious ones.

This ^100%
Naff and grabby - my neighbour’s DD issued a list of what she expected the guests to get her plus they had to pay £35 for the privilege.
Vulgar doesn’t begin to describe it.

Because people are miserable.

We had baby showers for my sisters in law. Just nice little afternoon teas, some silly games and gifts for mum and baby. There’s literally no reason to be against it 😂

I think it's just because it goes against the traditional way people in the UK celebrate babies.

Im my world you buy a gift when the baby arrives. You then possibly buy another gift for the christening if there is one. People always used to be superstitious or wary of buying a gift before the baby had safely arrived.

So it gets confusing when a baby shower is arranged because you know a gift is expected at a baby shower but you were also planing a gift on arrival of the baby.

I'm not against them. It's usually a nice afternoon tea somewhere which is always a lovely thing to do whatever the occasion.

It’s to do with how up your own arse you have to be to think other people are actually going to enjoy doing a quiz on how long they think you are going to be in labour/what the baby is going to weigh/ what colour hair/ what colour eyes/who will it look like and so fucking on and on.

I enjoyed it! It’s a fun little game. You don’t need to be miserable about everything.

Tacky
Grabby
Bad luck to give a gift until the baby is born

I'm in my 40s so it wasn't a thing for my friends and I am very glad.

I love celebrating my friends and socialising, it's not that.

I think what I don't like about a baby shower is that I don't think it is a life event to be in late pregnancy and it feels very weird and tempting fate to treat it as such.

It's a life event to get engaged, get married, to have a baby, these feel like nice things to celebrate in a group. Just being pregnant isn't in that category.

Have no issues at all with more casual - I would like to see my mates before I get consumed by parenthood, how about we go out for lunch - type affairs

It seems grabby. Tea with friends is tea with friends. A baby shower means to shower with gifts.

Traditionally having a baby was celebrated after the birth. I think some can be ott. I didn’t want a baby shower. Plus when you don’t know the gender it’s harder. Also I think there is a pressure to spend more perhaps for a baby shower gift with many people invited rather than a smaller first meeting. I wouldn’t expect anyone to have to buy a gift.

Anything with " silly games" needs banning.

Brcsuse we've all got quite enough to do. I didn't mind for Dsis because she was very late in life when she had her first and only and knew she would never have another one.

why wouldn’t you want to shower a loved one with gifts when they’re about to have a baby???

Before anyone accuses me of being someone who’s had a shower, I’ve not got kids, but I’ve been to plenty of them!

I think a baby shower for a first baby is fine, the gifts being small things to furnish the nursery as it's an expensive time for parents who have paid out for travel systems, cots etc e.g. muslins, cot sheets, little sleeping bags, bottles, sterilisers, baby bath etc. What seems excessive is having a shower again for a second or third baby when you already have all the equipment

I agree with this.

Because it feels like forcing friends to shell out money and pay you attention just because you are pregnant. Being pregnant is really not that remarkable an achievement. If people want to bring a present for the baby once it is born, they can. But to organise a baby shower feels toe-curlingly me-me-me to me. They are a recent thing, too. More 'events' have been created to foster materialism - like Elf on the Shelf and North Pole Parties on 1st december Christmas Eve boxes and endless Easter treats and OTT Halloween. I love celebration but the pressure to consume is pretty distasteful.

No one had baby showers when my DC were born a couple of decades ago.

i have been to two and i enjoyed them,
no games for the second one

They’re self absorbed and nothing to do with the actual baby. After a wedding they just seem like another occasion to have people make all the effort to tell you how wonderful you are.