Why does everyone seem to hate baby showers on MN?

[Hotchocolateandsnow]

Obviously not talking about the over the top grabby ones (which I’ve never witnessed in real
life and probably make up 1% - similar to birthdays/ weddings percentages I’m sure or are fabricated for the news?)

Im talking about the afternoon tea with family / friends and some decorations. Getting together to see people and celebrate. You can take a present and then not take one once the baby is born.

It’s an excuse to see your friend or family, eat some nice food and chat. But there seems to be a hatred of them on MN. There might be a game but the only ones I’ve witness in real life was guess the name / weight / date of birth.

If you do dislike baby showers, do you also dislike attending weddings, birthday parties, christenings, Christmas gatherings, Halloween party, summer BBQs? Where’s your line on what’s acceptable to celebrate or not?

I’ve been to two “typical” baby showers and I’ll be honest- they were so bloody boring.

One of them we spent an hour and a half watching mum to be open presents. Boring. Then we had a buffet and made small talk with people I didn’t know. Then we we played games like sniff the chocolate in the nappy and guess how many inches mums belly is. Boring boring boring.
The second one, i knew more people but it was still boring. Standing around making polite chit chat with the mum to be’s aunt, then silly team games and just so much baby chat.

I don’t think they are comparable to Halloween or Christmas parties. Not in my experience anyway.

Aside from the two “typical” baby showers, I did go to one a few years ago that was the mum to be gathering all her best friends and going to play junk yard golf and then pizza. It was called a baby shower but it was basically the girls “last hurrah” before becoming a mum. No silly games, no boring baby chat and no forced convo with aunties and cousins!

Because looking down on American things makes poster on MN feel very posh and middle class.

Please don't assume to speak for all of us. That certainly doesn't apply to us all.

Where a tradition comes from doesn't bother me, but the two reasons I don't like them are

• I really don't like the idea of blatantly asking people to come to an afternoon event which is solely there for guests to give them a present

But mostly

• Unfortunately, not every pregnancy leads to a healthy Mum and baby. No-one likes to think about it, but sadly some babies don't make it, and - more unusually, but it does still happen - some Mums don't. I prefer to wait until the baby is still here, then, when the Mum is ready, go over and meet the new arrival, take a present, and spend time with the new Mum, helping out if I can at a time they need it most.

I want to congratulate the parents on the safe arrival of the baby, not on the fact they had sex.

In my view, any baby shower is grabby and it feels horrible to go and visit a new baby and not take a present and card, so invariably you then end up having to gift twice.

I love christenings, weddings birthday parties, Christmas parties etc, but those are events that happen at those times, not a pre-party for something that hasn’t happened.

Honestly I just find them pointless. All the naff games that no one cares about.
And these days you get charged to attend! And also bring a gift and then one is usually expected when the baby’s actually born. It’s a lot of expense.
I still go when it’s close family and friends but I never had one myself. I just think it’s another expense to have. Meeting up for a catch up is nice but honestly I know it sounds harsh but the games and forced interactions just feel lame!

Because they are considered American which on Mumsnet= tacky, gross etc

Baby showers are fine if:

It is the woman’s first baby.
The guests don’t have to pay.

I think it's because many people, including myself, see it as a opportunity to fleece people (see also: Halloween, Black Friday, proms). Enough things have been reduced to an excuse for unnecessary spending - who needs that during a the of living crisis?

Never existed when I had my children (late 70s/early 80s). My daughter didn’t have one for either of hers either. They appear to be a relatively new thing in the UK, another import from the US.

Strange to celebrate when you have no idea if mother and baby will actually still be alive after the birth.

How morbid.

I best not make any birthday plans in advance in case I pop my clogs.

Having had two siblings, a niece and a son all stillborn I can think of several reasons why they’re an awful idea.

Don’t trivialise others people’s losses.

I think here in the UK a lot of people combine a baby shower with gender reveal.
I remember back in the day where the bride to be would host a show of wedding gifts along with the brides mother, before the wedding.

Losing a baby at little over an hour old is a good enough reason to not have a baby shower nor to attend.

This.

Exactly this.

Brash is a really good word. And why should you be showered with gifts for having sex? When the baby comes yes go round with a gift and attend a christening.

Shower them with gifts

My niece is having a baby shower, with a 'gift registry' on Amazon

There are so many things wrong with this:
Baby shower - a really naff import, my daughter (not the pregnant woman) keeps calling it a welcome party with games, but we know what it is!

Gift registry - a list of items - lots of plastic tat - daughters translation - so there is no overlap, lots of price levels and noone needs to buy anything (yeah right)

Amazon - well we all know about that - daughter's translation - it's so easy to share the list!!! This is so depressing, but is an indication of the insidiousness of the Amazon brand and the marketing opportunities available when a baby is born

I despair.

It's tacky American nonsense. It's fine over there as it's a tradition.

I hate them because it's another import from America. People are like sheep & follow trends on social media. No- one used to have them. They're ridiculous.

I agree, I don’t understand the hate. I love my friends, am excited when they are expecting a baby and enjoy getting together to help make them feel a bit special and loved.

They are horrible. Garish, look at me things and to me, they tempt fate before mother and baby are home safe and well. I always remember my nanna saying not to construct the cot until you have something to put in it.

This! It temps fate! Celebrate afterwards once everyone is home and safe.