Why does everyone seem to hate baby showers on MN?

[Hotchocolateandsnow]

Obviously not talking about the over the top grabby ones (which I’ve never witnessed in real
life and probably make up 1% - similar to birthdays/ weddings percentages I’m sure or are fabricated for the news?)

Im talking about the afternoon tea with family / friends and some decorations. Getting together to see people and celebrate. You can take a present and then not take one once the baby is born.

It’s an excuse to see your friend or family, eat some nice food and chat. But there seems to be a hatred of them on MN. There might be a game but the only ones I’ve witness in real life was guess the name / weight / date of birth.

If you do dislike baby showers, do you also dislike attending weddings, birthday parties, christenings, Christmas gatherings, Halloween party, summer BBQs? Where’s your line on what’s acceptable to celebrate or not?

Why are they only for women? Why are we celebrating a pregnancy that has not yet concluded safely? After some really sad family situations I’m uncomfortable with baby showers . I also dislike the idea that because I’m a woman I want to talk endlessly about babies ( yes I’ve had my own ) . Also the exclusion of men is weird . Surely it should be a family occasion?

Just call it a meet up/afternoon tea, a baby shower is for showering a woman with consumer products.

And yes, to your other examples, I would always rather be at home or doing stuff I enjoy than wearing uncomfortable clothes and being around loud people.

I don’t like them, all the ones I have been invited to were tacky as anything and vomit inducing. I particularly hate the staged photos with the hands placed above and below the bump. I don’t know why that gives me
the rage but it does.

I’m perfectly happy for other people to have whatever they like though as long as I don’t have to go, I’m not the social police.

I also dislike hens, weddings, engagements, gender reveals. But I love a Christmas party and celebrating birthdays. Just my preference but anything that involves sashes, photo booths, penis straws, balloon arches or Mr & Mrs games makes my skin crawl.

Because there's a certain crowd in here who loathe all our American imports. Even the fun ones.

If baby showers were French they'd be all over them like shit on a pig though.

They can be a bit grabby. Also I think most people still don’t like to tempt fate. And I loathe Hallowe’en too.

I think they’re indicative of our current obsession with vulgar consumerism and consumption. Meeting up with friends for tea and cake is a nice thing to do. It doesn’t need a decorated ‘venue’ with a colour-coordinated balloon arch or other tacky props.

It feels like we’re expected to celebrate everything these days. Nursery ‘graduations’, Year 6 ‘Prom’, announcing your baby’s gender (nobody cares), multiple Hen parties for one bride, Half birthdays!! (Wtf are they all about?), Cake smashes! (Double wtf are they all about?), over the top Halloween and bonfire night, celebrating Christmas every single day of December… it’s relentless.

And of course it all needs to look perfect for Instagram. It’s just vacuous, tacky, wasteful nonsense.

I personally think it’s better to have a gathering after the baby is born to introduce baby, having a party to celebrate before seems a bit like counting your chickens before they hatch, alas sometimes things don’t do to plan, babies arrive early or worse.

I LOVED both of my baby showers! First one was 11 years ago at home. The most recent was at a venue; afternoon tea and games. I have also organised them for family. I had an Amazon wishlist which people could purchase from if they wanted to. I also understood some people hate baby showers so took no offence if people didn't want to attend.

It’s celebrating something that hasn’t happened yet

It's nothing to do with " not liking socialising" . That's a pretty dismissive unpleasant remark calculated to disparage a lot of very valid reasons for finding baby showers quite offensive.

I don't equate pregnancy with " party time". It's a period often fraught with health issues and also anxiety about the upcoming birth. Nobody can guarantee a problem free birth and a healthy baby, even though that's what everyone wants. Celebrating before the baby is born is in my world what is known as tempting fate.

It's developing into yet another industry - like the awful stag/ hen party culture. Yet more pressure, both on women to hold these events, and on their invitees to give presents. Everything is driven by marketing opportunities and materialism these days.

Baby showers are bad luck. Ever seen what happens when a baby is born dead? It's horrendous enough without being surrounded by gifts you no longer need. Baby gifts should come when baby is safely here.

They're an American concept and therefore seen as inherently tacky and grabby.

Personally, I don't like socialising in big groups and begged my family not to throw baby showers for me. They did anyway and I hated it, but had to put on my best "yay" face so as not to hurt their feelings. I felt embarrassed, particularly with the second one.

I don't have a problem with the general concept though. It's nice to celebrate an exciting time for your friend and come together to support her, if that's the sort of thing she likes. I've organised several and done my best to gear it to their personality and likes. I don't have any Insta addict friends though!

Exactly this

I’m on the fence with this one to be honest. I think they can be lovely, like a nice afternoon tea or celebration with both intending parents at hall or a bbq or something.

They can be really grabby and trashy though, especially when they are for a 2 or 3 or 4th child. Which I have seen in my circles and refused to participate.

I think a lot of the games make them trashy as well, like I don’t want to taste a brown substance on a nappy and guess what it is.

It all turned me off having one of my own.

I didn’t like the idea of celebrating something that hasn’t happened yet. Felt like tempting fate to me!

Showers and gender reveals. Just stop it.

It’s counting your chickens before they’ve hatched!

Did you pay for all the guests? I've only been invited to one - which I declined - but it was in someone's house, I think, so assume so basic party food was provided.

When did I say it was new to me? Strange comment.

Completely agree with the comment about what happens if the baby dies and then the patents have to deal with all the gifts alongside their grief. Dreadful.

I actually think that they are only for women is their one redemption. Women celebrating women for something only women can do!

Any event whose sole purpose is to get presents is grabby imo, simple as that. If people want to celebrate something with friends and family, it's perfectly possible to organise a get-together where gift-giving isn't the focus. Heck, people can even specify no gifts. But they don't, because they want the gifts.

Weddings, someone knocking on their door, parties, hen dos. Baby showers…any sort of celebration, often knocked on here 😂

I suppose for me it's not having known them as normal when I was growing up and then having my own children. I've been a to a few, they're ok, mostly quite boring but nothing terrible. It depends on the approach of the person whose event it is really: if they are someone who sent everyone an expensive registry and there is a whole "who bought what" unwrapping of gifts that's really quite rubbish. If they just invited a bunch of friends to play a few games and being anything they feel like giving that's not bad.

Because they're another totally unnecessary American thing that's crept in like Trick or Treat and gender reveals.
Luckily they weren't a thing when I was pregnant or I'd have declined . Just another waste of money.