Why does everyone seem to hate baby showers on MN?

[Hotchocolateandsnow]

Obviously not talking about the over the top grabby ones (which I’ve never witnessed in real
life and probably make up 1% - similar to birthdays/ weddings percentages I’m sure or are fabricated for the news?)

Im talking about the afternoon tea with family / friends and some decorations. Getting together to see people and celebrate. You can take a present and then not take one once the baby is born.

It’s an excuse to see your friend or family, eat some nice food and chat. But there seems to be a hatred of them on MN. There might be a game but the only ones I’ve witness in real life was guess the name / weight / date of birth.

If you do dislike baby showers, do you also dislike attending weddings, birthday parties, christenings, Christmas gatherings, Halloween party, summer BBQs? Where’s your line on what’s acceptable to celebrate or not?

I would feel that it is bad luck and tempting fate to celebrate before baby has arrived safely.

My first pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage. No way would I have entertained the idea of a baby shower in any of my subsequent three (thankfully successful) pregnancy.

I do find baby showers grabby and rather distasteful, personally. I'm rather relieved they weren't so much of a thing when I had my DDs. Horses for courses though.

Oh God, gender reveals are even worse. How cringey.

A colleague.

Just because people don't like playing silly games, don't assume they're miserable.

I can think of nothing worse than enforced jollification on any occasion but I'm a perfectly happy person - it's just not my thing.

I put the baby booties in the post to her and didn’t reply to the message otherwise

I went to one recently and it was beautiful, good fun and I felt happy to have been included ☺️

Historically, it was always considered unlucky to buy baby gifts / celebrating before the baby had arrived.

I've never liked baby showers for this reason, but having almost died in childbirth & baby in NICU for several weeks, I feel just as strongly. It's hard enough coming home temporarily without a baby when you just have the essentials. Redistributing baby gifts if this was permanent would be devastating.

I only know one person who has had a baby shower and this describes her perfectly.

I disagree. I love them as it’s an excuse to celebrate.

Once the baby is here, you dont tend to a big get together. Sometimes its the last time for a long time. 🤣

A better type of person than a po faced judgy cow 😂 and no I didn’t have them before you ask.

Me too. Definitely tempting fate. A friend of a dd had a stillbirth not long ago - devastating and entirely unexpected, no apparent reason - until the PM revealed an infection.

But baby showers are a pre-celebration. Buying a present for a baby who's been born seems perfectly normal to me. Having a party in order to celebrate and get presents for a birth which hasn't happened yet seems a bit weird and grabby to me. Like having an engagement party (and presents) as well as a wedding (and presents). Not the same as birthday parties etc at all.

I’ve only been to a few and they were naff and cringey.

Same. I don't fit into any of those categories about no contact etc but I still dislike baby showers. It's just a weird thing to ask for presents for and a baby shower is just asking for presents.

If you do dislike baby showers, do you also dislike attending weddings, birthday parties, christenings, Christmas gatherings, Halloween party, summer BBQs? Where’s your line on what’s acceptable to celebrate or not?
Love all of these except Halloween. Both Halloween and baby showers are nothing I have ever been part of and find very weird to celebrate.

And I would happily go to a gathering at someone's house if they wanted to invite a few people along to meet the baby. It's the doing it ahead of time that's weird. Same as I love a wedding but think an engagement party is crass and grabby.

A friend’s baby died in the womb at 9 months. It was devastating. Things go wrong, even with all our modern medicine. I feel uncomfortable celebrating before a successful delivery.

And we have long celebrated Halloween in parts of the uk. It isn’t an import - if anything, it is an export.

I think a lot of people are calling a get together a shower, when it’s meant to be a shower of gifts to set the future parent up. Having a cake with your family is just that, it’s not a shower.

The problem being a lot of the people who have these are the kids of people who have many many of these celebrations with their hand stuck out for gifts - engagement, multiple hen, wedding, gender reveal, shower, christening, over the top baby birthdays…
Most of the ones I’ve seen, have been invited to, you have to pay to go as well.

I dislike the term “baby shower” and the idea of showering the pregnant woman and baby with gifts before the birth. I feel much better to wait for a happy outcome then take gifts.
However I think it’s great to share a party/food with female friends/other mums before the baby is born, many new mums might be too busy and sleep deprived to enjoy this for a while once the baby has arrived..

They are an unspeakably naff and unwanted American import.

I recently had a baby and I didn’t have one. I just wouldn’t have the gall to invite anyone to any sort of “shower” where the expectation is that you bring a gift. I have been through infertility myself and have friends going through it as well and just find the idea of it really attention seeking. I don’t like putting pressure on people like that . That’s just me.

Because I want to celebrate the safe arrival of a baby - not have forced fun at a ridiculous American import!!

I'm not keen on baby showers for the reasons most people have said. They're yet another American import (I don't get why so many people have a space in their brains which seems to say "duh they do it in the USA. Must copy. Must copy"), I'm not comfortable with celebrating before the baby is born. You just never know. I also find them tacky and gender stereotyped.

I have been to a baby shower. It meant a lot to a good friend of mine so I just grittd my teeth. She was very aware of my feelings and appreciated me coming. It was ok but I'm glad my other friends have decided not to have them.

No one I know has been ridiculous enough to have a gender reveal. You've got a 50/50 chance of having one sex or the other. It doesn't make you special. If the scan shows you're having a rainbow winged unicorn then I might come to your party.