What do women who want a family do now we all think men are useless?

[ClawsandEffect]

It's OK for me to think 'fuck 'em'. I'm old. Been there. Done that. Had the family and the divorce.

BUT if you're heterosexual AND want a family but realise that most men (#notallmen) are not viable options, what DO you do/plan to do?

Genuinely interested.

wirh the exclusion of my son obviously. He’s an angel 🫶

I think it is a good question too. There are good men out there though. You seem to have a realistic mindset! Hope you meet your person! I feel the same. Mum to 1 DC but it hasn't happened for me again!

This.

And also divorce doesn't always mean the reason was a 'useless man.' Usually far more complex and nuanced reasons.

Ahh of course. Your son is the exception, and should be viewed as such by other women. Right. Makes sense.

Probably just aiming to raise a better generation of men? I don’t think children count in what people think of men or women generally.

Most men ARE raised by women.

But that is the male equivalent of a super model. 99.999% of women aren't super models. 99.999% of men aren't tall, dark or handsome.

Women want someone who will do the washing up. Clean the toilet. Change nappies and put babies to bed. They don't need him to look like Tom Hiddleston.

Exactly. Teaching respect and consent. Making them contribute domestically. Undoing all the patriarchal bullshit put in by dominant ideology about what it means to be a man. About women being strong and capable. About the total requirement to be a daddy not just a sperm donor.

Do you have actual experience yourself of this? I suspect not.

Doing it alone is great. I also love being a single parent. No compromising with an inadequate male,

I agree it can go this way. I personally wouldn't want that knowing how tough motherhood can be. I do wonder why anybody would want to? I guess they don't know any different but I just couldn't personally I think its not fair on the child.

She so wanted a child. Goes to show, you don't always get what you pay for.

Nail on the head. It's often the "popular" looking kinds of men and those with confidence etc who are the worst offenders for the way they treat women, simply because they know, like buses, another one will be along in a minute who is attracted to them. I feel really sorry for the ones who aren't the "traditionally attractive" kind of men, i.e. short, fat, shy, lacking confidence etc who would probably be really good partners, but never get the chance

I don’t think all men are useless but as a single mum no way would I use a sperm donor id rather not have any kids.

Men not a viable option? not sure where you are hanging out but I know plenty of amazing men. There are good parents - It's not about competing as parents.It is about being a team. As parents you need to work out your strengths and play to them, be realistic and plan.

No I don’t as it happens, I am basing it purely on extensive research I have undertaken as to experiences of relationships in countries around the world.

Like he has an affair for example or was on inappropriate sites. Violent, drunk, abusive, you’re right there are lots more reasons than just being useless.

But statistically more women divorce men and it’s due to usually one or more of the above, although occasionally men do leave for another woman, usually only when caught.

@swiftasthewind tbh I would not go off research when you are looking for a potential partner. I don't want to generalise but from my own experience (West Africans) come with certain issues too. DS dad was extremely tight in fact I would go as far as finicially abusive. So don't be fooled. Also it's not easy dating someone with certain cultural views when you are living in England (expectations can be unrealistic).

Your bias is appalling and so is your misandry

Sorry, which statistics show single mothers through choice have negative outcomes for their kids?

Go check OLD and see what they are after mainly and having researched dating sites' statistics that have hair/height , most women tick 6ft as a minimum requirement, even more so than caring about distance.

People always say this but it’s out of context, are all these amazing men you know single? Do they all want to settle down? Are the ones in relationships having affairs? Do they have secret porn addictions? Do they send dick pics to women on dating apps? You know the side they present to the world but unless you’ve dated all these amazing men you don’t really know them from a romantic point of view.
It’s a numbers game, per my stats up thread, a third of young men live with their parents which isn’t particularly attractive to women, especially when women are more likely to have their own home at the same age. Of the two thirds that don’t have their mums do their washing, a large proportion will live with partners already, some of them won’t like women, some won’t work, some will be misogynists, some will be addicted to online porn, gambling sites and dating apps. It leaves you with a very small pool of men who are decent hardworking potential partners.

Nobody’s saying there aren’t amazing men; but thinking single women can “just go out and find one” in a pub on a Friday night is naive at best.

Hahaha absolutely agree with this!

lol Muslim ideology oppresses women as per today's standard of equality, good luck.

As any woman married to one if they change nappies, cook, clean equally

Only a handful find them because they’re like rocking horse shit! And a lot of the ones that think they’ve got one just don’t know the truth about their online habits or cheating.