What do women who want a family do now we all think men are useless?

[ClawsandEffect]

It's OK for me to think 'fuck 'em'. I'm old. Been there. Done that. Had the family and the divorce.

BUT if you're heterosexual AND want a family but realise that most men (#notallmen) are not viable options, what DO you do/plan to do?

Genuinely interested.

I'd do sth like this, I think:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/nov/07/single-mothers-in-china-find-a-new-kind-of-partner-other-single-mothers?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

As someone who’s had a child with a man who’s turned out to be fucking useless as a parent, I wish I’d taken the sperm donor route.

I absolutely know some really lovely men. Without exception, they're all married. Long-term married.

I see women younger than me, mid 30s, settling down with men that I can confidently predict will be left behind within 10 years, of her choosing. Their women out earning them, not sharing the domestic load, no equality in parenting. All the stuff older divorced women like me went through, that at the time we didn't realise was widespread, and thought was just our poor choice of men.

I think the difference now is that this inequality in marriage is out there in public domain, picked up by the media. Does this mean it will drive change?

Let’s hope it drives men to be less shit. Doubt it though.

The same people who cannot handle this discussion because they can’t bear anyone to say anything bad about men, seem to be the same ones berating single mothers whose sons may become misogynists, as if it’s the mothers fault, and not the absent father/society!! Make it make sense.

Not all men are useless.

A girl I know went down the sperm donor route and her son couldn't get over it.

Can you explain more? Thank you

Why on earth would you take anything Kinsey said seriously? He was a peadophile.

The man hating on here just goes to far.

Well you can keep looking for a while longer, lots of people have their first child at 40 these days although obviously it’s not guaranteed. I’d personally just not have kids if I didn’t find a suitable partner, but I was someone on the fence about kids for a long time so realise it would be different for someone who had always dreamed of being a mother.

Couldn't agree more.

Women have the same options as they always did really. Ideally find a man who is good, a good partner, who would be a good dad, and have kids. If you don’t meet that man and you hit X age, clock ticking, then you either

1. Settle for a man who you know won’t be a great partner/dad but will give you a child
2. Accept that you’re not prepared to have kids with someone like that and so you’re not having kids

or I suppose now option 3 is becoming a single mum by choice.

Having spent half my youth in an all female boarding school, I can assure you I’m absolutely minus100% “degree open to physical relationships with other women”, I can’t even bear hugging my own mother.

Sperm donor to have a child?
Selfish in the extreme and not in the best interest of the children.
I know that I will get a bashing for this but the statistics speak for themselves

What utter tosh.
My Grandfather, father, DH, FIL and DS are or were all great. As is DD's BF and his dad and DS's FIL.

My closest friends have all been with their DH's since the late 80s/early 90s. DH's closest friends are pretty decent and long married. Neighbours too.

Divorces have been rare.

As much as we dont want to admit it there are plenty mums out there who are a shite too, and probably shouldnt have had kids (especially with a useless fella).

Same here. Our son hasn't gone anywhere near dating apps. He's meeting girls in the traditional way, i.e. through activities/work or "friend of a friend" when out socialising. He says none of his friend circle (mid 20's) are on dating apps.

From what I've heard of them, they're pretty toxic and it's no surprise that women are having bad experiences from using them as it seems most men are only on them because they're loners or are socially inadequate.

We really need to get back to meeting and dating in the traditional ways, i.e. meeting other people in person rather than hiding behind a keyboard.

I can see it being useful for older people who've been through divorce of death of their long term partner and who are long out of the traditional "meeting" scene and maybe wanting companionship or someone to socialise with rather than a new husband/wife.

My experience too. Both my and OH's grandfathers and respective fathers were respectful and very good role models, no divorces nor affairs known. I didn't know DH's grandfathers, but I knew his father pretty well and there was nothing wrong with him - great family man, always doing things with his wife and sons, and very friendly/open/respectful to me. Just like my own father. My now DH was the spitting image of both my father and his father in terms of his behaviour and respect etc which is probably why I was attracted to him. It's turned out well. 38 years together so far. No problems at all. Brilliant husband, brilliant father, always putting family first. There are goods ones out there. You just have to kiss plenty of frogs before you find your prince!

I don't understand the post. Most men I know are very nice, decent, helpful-round-the-house sort of people. My dh being particularly lovely!

I have been keen on adopting for years so will do that on my own if my relationship doesn’t work out. I would prefer a relationship, I’ve always wanted my own family which includes a partner, but I don’t want a baby and a manchild. I don’t know how women manage to be content in relationships where the man is crap, it makes me depressed. My friends have had babies at ages 36-42 so I don’t think 30 is the cut off point any more. But I am 35 and feeling the clock ticking even though I don’t want a biological child

THANK YOU

My friend had a sperm donor, she's in a group with loads of women who did the same. Not because they hate men but they hadn't met anyone.

There’s millions of men hating woman sites and fb groups etc which are brutal and that’s normalised but for woman to feel the same way back, shame on them they should have more respect.
It is double standards but it’s treated like back chat.

I will never hide how I feel about men and everywhere I look on SM I see how they feel about women.
We just don’t like each other.
Some will claim to have a loving husband/dad/son but the men I work with wear that mask to loved ones and don’t get me started on what I’d hear when I worked in pubs.

The reason it’s different is because men have the support of other men and women.
Women attack other women and so do men.
Win win for men

I have 2 daughters in their early 20s.

They date how we dated... friendship pool, work pool, "going out" pool, brother,cousin,whatever of a friend pool...
Neither do online dating.
They have both brought home some "good" men and some absolute shockers. Just because you can't tell in the first couple of months doesn't mean it's not worth trying.

The reason it’s different is because men have the support of other men and women.
Women attack other women and so do men
@unicorntail
The default human impulse tends to be to align yourself with the dominant group, I'd say that what you have described is rooted in/driven by that basic tendency.