What do women who want a family do now we all think men are useless?

[ClawsandEffect]

It's OK for me to think 'fuck 'em'. I'm old. Been there. Done that. Had the family and the divorce.

BUT if you're heterosexual AND want a family but realise that most men (#notallmen) are not viable options, what DO you do/plan to do?

Genuinely interested.

The wording of the OP is daft, probably deliberately so.
Even on Mumsnet, people do not believe it. (And I'm a big fan of MN)
Clearly, posters in happy relationships with good men generally aren't going to post about it.

Not according to the OP.

Apparently we all think they're useless.

Indeed.

Kinsey's data was collected from a non-random sample of the population, heavily skewed toward groups like prison inmates and male prostitutes, which makes his conclusions unreliable and unrepresentative of the general public.

Kinsey's studies included many subjects who were convicted sex offenders and, in some cases, sexually abused children. He reportedly failed to report these individuals to the police, putting other children at risk for the sake of scientific data.

Absolutely. I haven't ever been motivated to start a thread about my truly lovely and delightful MIL either.

When they do, they often get absolutely flamed for it and called smug etc.

Yeah, they do. I was called smug and bragging on a post once just because it was about how all men are shit and I said my DH was a decent chap.

Oh, I was also told he'd cheat on me too.

He hasnt.

Indeed. I'm flabbergasted that any supposedly reputable institute would still to this day want to be associated with his name - or why any genuine, self-respecting scientist would ever want to work for them.

Neither of my sons fit that. They are proving themselves to be very good partners to their gf’s and I am certain will make good husbands and fathers. I will say though, that I think a huge part of that is because I brought them up alone and was their biggest influence in how to treat girls/women. If I hadn’t left their dad when they were very young then who knows (because unfortunately their dad was the usual disappointment this thread is about). Because of how the world is going though there’s a big part of me that doesn’t even want them to have children as the future looks dystopian.

Incels regard women as not viable options when they refuse to subordinate themselves to would-be male partners.

Women regard men as not viable options when they refuse to do an equal share of the work in a domestic partnership.

The women I know in their 30s who were open to a family but don't want a relationship have just decided against children and made a pragmatic decision. Although ime that's a very small minority because most of them are married/LTR and still child free by choice.

Very very anecdotal but one one of my friends adopted as a single mother, and my daughter although only 10 has also said she would only consider children through adoption either on her own or with a female friend (or 'friend', who knows) so younger kids are definitely aware of wider options than marry man, have baby.

I'll never forget someone started a thread a little while back to talk about all the good DHs/DPs and how they were appreciated.

It of course descended into the usual hijacking from MNetters who couldn't bear it, and someone ACTUALLY said the thread needed a trigger warning for those who don't have good men in their lives 🤦‍♀️

Maybe. However, I don’t think I could ever lick another woman’s clitoris. ISorry.

Often they take a post where women are talking about their relationship and domestic struggles and think it's a personal opportunity to wax lyrical about their Nigel when in fact it's not required. That's why they get flamed, the absolute lack of empathy.

I was going to ask about these women who use sperm donors because they think all men are useless, suppose they have a boy?

Well generally any, but in particular men from Pakistan and the Middle East are said to make good husbands. I would also add West Africa too, the men there are very masculine and traditional, but not in a western chauvinistic way.

I think any woman planning to have children should ideally do so knowing that if required she is able to manage to parent them alone or with the minimal support set out by law.
Because its not necessarily about thinking all men are useless, it's about never being able to be certain the one who fathers your children isn't going to become useless.
If you start from the premis he will be, then I suppose you pick the least worst option with a strong back up plan to fill the gaps you anticipate.
It's when you start with optimism and high expectations, so don't think you need plan B that you're likely to run into trouble.

Being on a forum like this you do get to see the worst of people’s behaviour so it is easy to think all men are crap but there are really good ones out there. I don’t think all men are crap.

If I was young and wanted to have children I wouldn't choose a sperm donor, I would look for a young man who is physically fit and genetically healthy and to whom I felt physically attracted (I understand that that can be a reasonably good indication that you are genetically compatible in terms of your immune systems- or something like that)
Keep the relationship very casual / no strings, end it when pregnancy had been achieved.

The trouble is that deliberate single parenthood might result in a boy .... and boys turn into that terrible "useless" breed of human .... men!

To be honest, some women are terrible mothers too so this does seem a tad harsh.

Ok, I'll ask the question a different way.
How do you explain boys born to single mothers who have absolutely no contact with their father or a step-father, being misogynistic?
I clearly don't know what you meant by this question which appears to be saying boys of single mothers are misogynistic then.

Single mothers don't make misogynistic kids, society and poverty does.

Nonsense, he was spouting shite. All women indeed! I have never been remotely sexually attracted to another woman, never going to happen any more than Sir Ian McKellan fancies women.

Good for them. What are they supposed to have done? Wait indefinitely?

There was a television show which had one episode where a sexually adventurous woman tried lesbianism and was mostly fine with it all, except for going down on another woman. She just couldn't do it.
And I think reciprocal oral sex is probably de rigeur in lesbian relationships.

I don't think men from those countries are particularly well known for their stellar progressive attitude towards women's rights, are they?