What do women who want a family do now we all think men are useless?

[ClawsandEffect]

It's OK for me to think 'fuck 'em'. I'm old. Been there. Done that. Had the family and the divorce.

BUT if you're heterosexual AND want a family but realise that most men (#notallmen) are not viable options, what DO you do/plan to do?

Genuinely interested.

I think some stats would have helped make your point, OP. Yes there are some awful men and some awful women; but statistically men are becoming more “unattractive” in terms of partnership. The days of men being the breadwinner are all but gone, so now many men not only treat you poorly, but don’t even bring that financial stability. It is not comparable to generations gone by because women have become more independent, more successful, whereas men.. haven’t.

33.7 of men 20-34 (over 2million) still lived with their parents in 2024 (source ONS). For women in the same group it’s 22.1%. This has risen sharply in last decade.

More women are buying property solo than men in the uk; 11.5% more women than men bought alone in 2024 as reported by Petermans.

Single parents; 85% of them are women, unsurprisingly.

16.3million women are employed, vs 11million in 1990

Point being many women now thrive as single people; whereas statistically as a group, men are more likely to be languishing behind in terms of maturity and stability; not to mention the misogynistic views and attitudes to parenting and relationships.

I don’t know what the answer is but agree there is a shift in the prospects for young women seeking a stable family unit.

I have the most incredible son who is kind and caring and genuinely the light of my life.

He is 5 ft 6 so I know that will put a lot of women off. I hope some 30 year old women who haven’t found their 6ft tall partner will then consider him and people like him.

There are some amazing people that are overlooked for reasons such as height or other factors they can’t control.

I personally know two women and they both regret it when they are at home 5 days a week and after dinner its all silent, and no one to chat to or have no one to share same rush they get when their babies took their first steps, first words etc.

Is this a journalist trying to find material for their news piece?

I presume either go it alone or make peace with not having children. Assuming they wanted children in the first place.

There aren’t any other options are there?

I’m 36 and if it doesn’t work out with DP, it’s definitely ‘bye bye baby’. So few single men in their 30s are boyfriend material let alone husband and father material, and I hate the thought of pressured dating where red flags are overlooked for the sake of ‘not running out of time’. No thanks, I’ll just make peace with a child-free life.

I’ve just done it on my own. Planning it since I was 30, didn’t quite get round to it / succeed until after the pandemic. Sperm donor and IVF. Now a blissfully happy single mother. Work full time with childcare. Lovely balance. Totally financially independent. No one but my darling daughter to prioritise. Can be hard work but I love it.

This is the exact same experience for women who procreate with shit men and the relationship breaks down at the baby stage, except women who go down the donor route are not tied to said shit man for the rest of their lives.

I also have to add, on the other end, most men now do not value or see the benefit of marriage as before and some women are still after that so in turn, many are viewed as unattractive.

The benefit system also benefits single women than a couple.

I think in general, women are more accepting of physical imperfection than men. Men are more visually focused and women a little more (definitely not totally) into a man's personality. Beauty standards for women are much harsher than for men. The acceptance of the dad bod, for example.

So possibly, for the shorter, less obviously attractive lad of 20, maybe his picking of women is slim. But by 30, if he is a genuinely good guy (and not the stereotypical incel 'nice guy' who is anything but) he should be able to have a relationship.

Also, as @notanotherone22 said, things definitely ARE changing. The old dynamic of the man being the breadwinner and the wife carrying the domestic load has changed. Women now frequently share the financial responsibility whereas men mostly do not contribute 50% to domestic/child labour. I don't know any married couple where it's 50/50. Not even when the woman out earns the man. Even 20 years ago when I was married, I wasn't prepared to accept carrying the housework/childcare alone. Not when I earned as much as him.

I also definitely accept it is quite possible for women to be shit mothers. I was not an earth mother by any stretch of the imagination. But the unalterable fact is, if a woman wants a child as a single person it is easily doable. Much, much less so for a man.

The great thing about being older is to be able to watch social movement as an observer, rather than living it.

Oh I wish. If I were a journo I wouldn't waste time faffing around on social media!

One of my cousins never got married or lived with anyone because she was happy doing her own thing and set in her ways so she had a child through donor and is an amazing mum she has a good career, friends, family support, she’s a mum and it suits her fine.
Of course it won’t suit everyone because everyone is different but it’s nice there are choices now.

That's it really.

He couldn't accept that she ha paid for a squirt as he put it.

Had massive mental health problems and no longer has a relationship with his mother.

Very sad.

This maybe shallow but women who just think a suitable partner is only the Handsome, 6ft2, head full of hair , drives a fancy car etc feel like this because they do not give those who are actually genuine a shot. These get a lot of attention thus they have more room to flex their options and not treat you all that well

This 🙄

Bingo, i think I would feel the same because you did not give me a chance like every child to have both parents

Thank you for responding. You're right. It's really sad, for both of them.

I don't know of any women who look for men based on those criteria. They sound like something off an Andrew Tait list.

Men are not dominant though. They may be dominating and controlling but that’s just a poor trait.

Do it alone. IVF, adoption ect. Men ain’t shit, their semen might be.. everything excluding the contents of their nut sack can get to fuck.

this is common, you surely cannot tell me you never heard of "tall, dark and handsome"

Most need to focus on who brings something to the table, who treats them better.

What? 🙄

I'm not entirely convinced the pool of women these days is amazing either tbh.

This notion that men are entirely flawed and women are equally flawless does more to harm women, than help them imo.

As a mother, the idea that some women believe they are better off syringing the sperm of a random man they've never known into their body sounds asinine. Having kids quickly teaches you why it takes two to make them.

How so?

Good luck raising boys with that attitude.

Question is vague.